Fishy Chronicles 33: Chai, Bhajias and a Visitor

"You had a lucky escape," Arief grinned, while passing me a quarter plate. We were seated next to each other on a garden bench in Pretty Villa Hotel, Lonavala. Several plates of piping hot bhajias were making an appearance.

"From what?" I asked. I had made amends with Uncle and was now waiting to stuff myself. I ignored most of the family's cross looks. But I gave evil Nidhi my best and broadest smile every time I saw her gaze rest on me - twice. After that she squeezed between her cousin Georgy and her brother Ashok and ignored me. I was going to celebrate tonight. Maybe with a cigarette. I thought of the packet of Gudang Garam in my underwear pouch.

Arief poked me with his elbow and I started. "Why can't you be friends with her?"

"With whom?"

 "Nidhi."

"Who's that?" I mumbled with a mouth full of kanda bhajias. The batata bhajias glistened with the oil they had just been fried in and they were fast disappearing.

"How long have you been fighting?" Arief persisted.

"Who am I fighting with?" I ventured after a long pause.

There was silence. I didn't want to look. I had a chance with a really cute guy and all he was doing was talk about another woman. When I finished chewing, slowly, and silence still prevailed on the left flank, I turned my head to look. Arief was sitting back on the bench, his lips a thin straight line, staring at me. But it was not a cold look. He seemed to be thinking. 

"Don't think, Sweetie," I told him in my head. "It doesn't seem a healthy pursuit for you."

I heard laughter from the tank. I turned to see what had set Fish off. They were rolling on the floor of the tank. And Genie was motionless, his body rigid, staring deeply into a bowl of green chutney. Then his moustache quivered slightly. Shit! I'd said that aloud! I turned around to look at Arief. His expression grew stiff, and his eyes bored mine.

"Er. Were you asking about N-Nidhi? She's been cold to me. No idea why. We've moved around in the same circles, were in the same school, have family in common, but she doesn't want to have anything to do with me." I warbled desperately, trying to undo the damage. From across the long table between us, Ashok cocked an eyebrow.

"You've got to give up rubbing people the wrong way," Ashok told me. A small splash of water hit Eva next to him. Though I was mortified at the put down, which I deserved, I tried hard to control my face. Ashok looked up and around and immediately grabbed a paper napkin to wipe his wife's neck. From the corner of my eye I could see Roma and her kids grin.

Suddenly Arief stood up. He walked around the length of the table and stood near Nidhi. People moved to accommodate him on the bench. Her back instantly straightened, a smile radiated from her face and just as quickly my spirits plummeted. Arief refused to look my way and every now and then Nidhi smirked at me.

Suddenly the bhajias felt tasteless. I felt Nobby buzz around me. He tsk-tsked for some time. "Really! Can't you just hang onto a good thing when you see one?!"

I looked at Arief's patrician face, the long nose and long eyelashes. I wanted to get up and run. But we'd already established there were no hotel rooms available in Lonavala, I didn't want to upset my uncle again and my car was not safe to spend the night in. Plus, I was fed up with running and being called a quitter.

I saw a white teacup slide toward me. Genie moved closer and poured out the hot tea into the saucer and gave me the cup. I let Nobby have the first sip.

I could see the relatives stare. I ignored them. But in a minute I choked on my tea. I first sprayed it on the lot in front of me and then coughed hard. Snot and tears streamed from my orifices. Opposite me, Ashok, Eva, Nidhi, Arief and some of the Kurians began to babble and reach for tissues. Someone pounded my back. My nephew Aditya! And Genie pushed a tissue into my face. 

"What's the matter with you?" Genie said, mopping the table and trying to stop the spilled tea from falling onto our clothes.

I could only point. Eva looked at where I was pointing and shrieked. She scrambled off the bench and tried to embrace a large shrub. Ashok turned to look at what had frightened her. He moved back in fright and got up quickly. I don't know where it came from, but I laughed. 

"Will you stop that!" Genie hissed.

I shook my head and continued to choke, cry and laugh. Roma had often told me that the Kurians and their extended family were namby pambies. One by one, the family hurriedly got up and moved backwards. The massive cockroach stretched and stared at the nearest plate of bhajias on the long garden table. Roma and I stood near it and watched. It strolled forward to the plate of bhajias and reared up to put its front legs on the side of the plate.

Aditya's little hand slowly pulled the plate away a few centimetres. In the background we heard cries, "Kill it! What are you waiting for!" Uncle, a great believer in pest control services, had already disappeared and Aunty and Georgy were ordering Roma to kill the cockroach. Someone flung a newspaper in our direction. The cockroach listened to the commotion and darted toward the plate. Aarav grabbed the plate from the opposite side of the table and pulled it clear. 

Aditya looked up at Roma and said, "Mumma, shall I take it and put it some place safe?"

Roma's mother in law immediately screamed, "No! It's dirty! Cheeeee!"

"Don't touch it, Adi!" Georgy shouted, trying to look manly behind his mother. Genie leaned over the table to get a better look at the cockroach.

"Use the newspaper to kill the damn thing!" Ashok shouted. 

"How?" Roma asked, a grin on her face. Ashok rushed toward us, grabbed the Hindustan Times from the ground, rolled it into a baton and started pounding the table, with his face turned away and his body about a foot away. It was a wonder he could even reach the table. But there he was, thwacking the life out of the already lifeless bhajias.

Roma, Genie and I held our stomachs and the table and laughed our guts out. We could hear the bewildered children. "Stop, Ashok Uncle, you're scaring the cockroach," Aditya said, concern in his voice. Adi usually picked them up and threw them out of the window.

His big brother Aarav plucked the newspaper from Ashok's hand looked at the oil stains on the newspaper. "Appacha* will be angry at you for hitting food. We'll kill the cockroach if you're so scared of it!"

"I-I'm not scared!" Ashok denied and stumbled backward. There was a long wail from the other side of the table. It sounded like a siren. It was Aditya upset about an impending cockroach killing. Roma slumped on the table, shaking and guffawing, while her husband and in laws screamed at her, imploring her to do something and then scolding her for her undignified conduct. Finally, Aditya plucked the large cockroach off the table and ran off. He disappeared behind some of the bushes in the garden and reappeared in a couple of minutes without the insect.

When I turned around, a number of very angry people glared at us. I saw Nidhi and Arief leave the garden. Ashok glared at me and Roma, while we grinned back at him. 

"Who knew you were scared of cockroaches, Ashok," I said.

"I find them disgusting," he blustered. A bark of laughter escaped Roma and her children looked at her suspiciously.

Eva thrust herself into my face, "You let us suffer. You know I'm terrified of them!"

Georgy pushed himself between us, furious at Roma. "You've been letting my children play with dirty insects!"

That got my goat. "On the contrary, Georgy. We've established your boys have more backbone than most of the men in our family. And... they are kind."  Despite the dubious genes from their father, my darling boys Aarav and Aditya were going to be fine.

"Want to go for a swim?" I asked them. The water was bound to be cold, but what the heck. We'd jump in and then figure things out. They ran for their trunks and I for my swimsuit. I stood at the top of the stairs and wiggled my fingers at Roma to follow me. Georgy was scolding her, but her eyes were on me. She grinned and walked past the angry relatives, running up two steps at a time.

                                         ******

This is a fictional series about a group of Fish, their former owner and her former manservant Genie. Fish and Genie have returned from their travels to live with the narrator for a few months and in this episode they are all on vacation with her relatives.  

Tempers fray and unexpected guests cause complications. 

                                         ******

We were floating in the swimming pool, enjoying the sun on our fronts and the cold water against our backs. There had been several angry summons from various family members, but none had tried to venture into the pool to pull us out. None knew how to swim. And Roma, the boys and I hadn't budged in a long time. In between, Genie joined us and then left.

"You know..."

"What?" Roma said. 

"I think I'll be banned for life from any of your family outings," I told Roma.

Roma laughed. "Probably. But they can't do a thing even if you do turn up. They can't be rude to you, that will annoy Daddy... and Genie... and Fish." She laughed once more. "I think you should come again. It will shake things up. And," she suddenly waded toward me, "let's get Arief, Genie and Nidhi too. My holiday has never been so much fun!"

I stayed silent. I had no wish to repeat this horrible experience. We held hands and floated. A shadow fell on us. I opened an eye, our cousin Eva was looking at us uncertainly. "May I join you?"

"Hurry!" I said. She disappeared to get her suit. "Don't look now, Roma," I murmured, "Darth Vader Nidhi is watching us." 

"I know," Roma said her eyes closed. "She can't get enough of you." She sighed and straightened. She swam to the side of the pool where Nidhi, Arief, Ashok and Georgy were seated. Georgy still looked angry.  

"Want to join us in the pool?" Roma smiled.

Arief took off his clothes and slipped in. "I don't know how to swim," Georgy bleated, feeling more left out now that Arief was in the pool.

I heard a mild swear word from under Roma's breath. "Jump in, Babe, I'll teach you. Just go wear your trunks."

"Yes, Daddy," the boys said enthusiastically. 

"I don't have trunks," Georgy said, mutinously. His kids waded off and began to toss a ball. 

Roma swam back to me. "Want to do laps? What say we come back at night. We can swim in the dark and maybe smoke."

"Georgy?"

"He'll be dead to the world. Come on, 10 laps." And she was off thrashing the water like the former state champion swimmer she was.
               
                                         ******
* Grandfather

Fishy Chronicles 31: Kiss And Make Up

I watched Roma's children run ahead in the small tree-lined lane in Lonavala. Roma was some way ahead, walking and talking with Genie, who was wheeling along the fish tank.

Beside me walked Arief, the unsuspecting friend of my, until this morning, estranged married cousins Eva and Ashok. I had messed Arief about in the morning with a well-aimed table tennis ball, run out of the hotel, been dragged back to Pretty Villa Hotel by Roma's cousin-in-law Ashok and had a massive war of words with him. Plus, I may have ticked off a few people, who subsequently played football with my things in my hotel room. I blame Ashok's sister Nidhi, with whom I had been sharing the room, though now I think it could have been anybody.

The narrator does her best to burn her bridges with the family on their trip to Lonavala... and almost succeeds.  

Only Arief, a family guest and unwitting victim of family tensions, insists on setting right their status quo. One gesture sends their equation into an immediate skid.

"You owe me an apology," Arief said.

I stopped in my tracks. In my mind I had apologised profusely - not preserving an iota of my dignity. Then I had left Pretty Villa Hotel with my baggage and posse and my cousin Roma, her kids and Arief had tagged along. "Is that why you followed me out?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what exactly."

"I think we haven't made up properly."

"Really? I apologised from the inner recesses of my recesses and it felt like I grovelled and dug a hole and buried myself. The only thing I didn't do was prostrate in front of you... it didn't occur to me!"

Arief's head tipped back and he laughed. He didn't sound like a man still nursing a grudge against a violent, loony, rival table tennis player. "Right. I meant kissing and making up."

"Right. That's all that's left, kissing," I said sarcastically. "We've already made up, and I have witnesses... though many are likely to turn hostile if put to the test..." I looked up, feeling grumpy that my day was slowly losing its fine wintry Lonavala charm. The sun went dark and I felt a pair of warm, damp lips on my mouth. I felt deep shock radiate through me and my cheeks, forehead and neck ignited. I looked frantically at Roma and Genie. They were still walking and talking.

I spluttered. "What the fig!" Arief's head bent threateningly again and I leapt back in fright. But I felt... I pulled my sweater away from my neck, feeling unbearably hot and sped to the side of the road. Idiot, go back, I heard a voice telling me. The voice seemed to be mine. Arief was grinning at me broadly, amused. He held out his arm and tilted his head toward the road ahead and nodded. "All good now. Come along."

I stayed on my side of the road and walked shakily, trying to hug the dew-damp walls lining the narrow road.

I was breathing too fast and tried to slow it. What had just happened. Shit! Fish were now at the back of the tank, watching. Nothing escaped them. BUT WHAT THE EFFF!

"Come on! You're acting ridiculous trying to walk through the walls. The other two will turn around any moment and you'll have to explain why," Arief laughed.

That got me to the middle of the lane. Arief held out his arm again. I looked away. He came closer and put his arm around my neck in a swift movement. I struggled to break free, feeling panic. "Don't shout. We'll have to explain what happened and I'm not inclined to lie," Arief said, still smiling.

"What are you playing at?! This morning it was Eva and now you're making a move on me?!"

"Tut, tut. I was never with Eva. At least I was interested in her until I landed here yesterday and discovered she's married to Ashok, who, by the way, is an old friend."

"If he's an old friend how come you didn't know he's married to Eva!"

"I agree. We're work friends. A drink here, and occasional guys night out. We lost touch some years ago, but I was uncomfortable with us being here in the middle of a family holiday and Ashok watching."

"So why didn't you just leave?"

"Felt awkward. And it felt like running away."

"So what's this kiss about?"

Arief grinned and took off his arm from around my neck. He put my arm through his and clamped it to his side.

"Let go, Arief."

"Why?"

I didn't answer. Fish were squashed against the back of the tank, trying to get their best views.

"You think Genie will get pissed off?" Arief's breath shifted some of the strands of hair off my forehead. His face was too close to mine.

"He won't like you manhandling me, for sure," I mumbled, unnerved by Arief looming in my face.

"Reallllyyy," Arief chuckled. "He doesn't seem possessive. Though for some reason everyone seems to think you guys are a pair."

"Yes. A great big bunch of idiots they are. I'm surprised you're not thinking that way," I looked up nervously. But Arief was looking at Genie, a very strange thoughtful look on his face. I tried freeing my arm, but it was still in a solid grip.

"And Genie seems as devoted to your fish as you are. Strange," he said.

"Er, why is it strange?"

"Doesn't fit in with his macho image."

"He's got a very tender side." Arief laughed and I bristled. "What's funny?"

"Did you know Mr Poonawala always brought his fish to work?"

Yes. "No."

"Your ex knew."

"My ex?" all my excitement withered away.

"Who died?" Arief said.

"What?"

"You went cold. What happened?"

"We're talking about my ex. I don't know what else could kill a conversation faster." I started to pull my arm out of his, but Arief didn't let go.

"How did you guys get the fish? Everyone at the agency wondered."

"I don't know."

"You're lying!"

"Mr P gave them to my ex. Willed them to him. There was an understanding between them. He'd asked me to care for them a few times, so my ex and I went to Mr P's place and he walked us through their routine."

"Why?"

"His pets had all died. He felt it was only a matter of time when he would too. Uncle wanted someone to care for Fish and we didn't mind." The first time he had invited me into his office, Nigel Poonawala only had Fish in their tank next to his massive rosewood table and plenty of pictures of his dead, but much loved, pets. I could talk about Uncle Nigel now. Fish had never been a secret.

But I felt ill, the old memories squeezing my heart unbearably. The first time we met, Uncle Nigel and I had bonded instantly. Maybe it was that way when you liked animals. It had taken a few visits for Fish to be comfortable with me. By then I was married. Considering how he never took care of Fish while they were in our care, I didn't understand my ex's fascination for them or his need to covet them. Certainly Fish never warmed up to him, or talked to him. For a strange reason Uncle Nigel had never seen through my ex. Neither had I, until it was too late.

"You still don't say his name," Arief said.

"Whose?" 

"Your husband's."

"We're divorced. I'm entitled not to sully my being by saying his name."

"That seems harsh."

"Yet it is true. And he lives and continues to blight humanity with his existence."

"At this rate, you'll never get a boyfriend."

I laughed. It was at once incongruous and the truth. Eventually every boyfriend had seemed a reflection of my ex. Somewhere it was written into my genes that I needed to be treated badly and bent out of shape. "I'm definitely not looking." That was a lie. I was always hopeful, but Arief didn't need to know.

"Why do you talk to the fish so much? Surely they're unlikely to understand."

I shrugged. I was in another world when I was with them. Uncle Nigel and my parents had been too. No one was going to understand my feelings for them or how they stimulated me.

I saw Genie turn and his eyes caught mine. His eyes took in Arief and our intertwined arms and he turned away again. 

No one would understand, except Genie.

Fishy Chronicles 30: Drama in Lonavala

After a couple of hours directly under a sunny sun, I got up from my bench in the garden of Chez Perreira. I had to. Many of its staff had given me meaningful looks. Besides, the numbers of small children bouncing hard plastic balls off me had increased.

I threw the last ball that hit me into a tree. Luckily it lodged in the tree's branches and I could hear the ball's little evil owner begin to wail. I stepped out jauntily into the small kaccha lane, feeling slightly happier and, more than ever, assured that my soul was furiously winging its way to hell.

I could hear a collective tut-tut from my parents in heaven. Sometimes I wished they had been like other parents - whose children were always in the right, even if they were wrong. 

"I would have hated you," Aunty Glory once told me. "I can tolerate you because your parents kicked you into shape."

I had sat glumly in the Gonsalves flat, recounting some miserable event and hoping Aunty Glory would commiserate. She hadn't. She had given me a stiff lecture about the futility of feeling sorry for oneself, ordered me to straighten myself out and hurl myself unforgivingly at the world. Whatever that meant. I had been too browbeaten to ask for a clarification and I put it all down to quintessential, I-don't-care-about-your-feelings Gloryspeak.

The narrator, on holiday with Cousin Roma and her extended family, has had a nightmarish start to her holiday. She previously got into a fight with a guest of the family, Arief, disappeared without apologising and has now been found and been brought back, unwillingly, to the hotel. 

More drama ensues, with the narrator neck deep in shit. How will the day end?

I shook myself. I was in lovely Lonavala, which was still in the throes of a tepid winter. This cannot be equated with any other winter in any other place. I wished I had run out with a sweater, so I rubbed my arms, stamped my feet a few times and started walking to the town centre. I felt fear when I heard footsteps, felt a shadow fall on me and strong cold fingers on my shoulder and part of my neck. I whirled around, terror clutching my heart. Damn! I didn't think retribution would come so soon!

"Don't you get tired of running away!" Ashok said angrily, pink spots of colour showing in his fair cheeks. I tried to wriggle out of his grip. "And why can't you pick up your damned phone?!"

"I spoke to Roma!"

"I heard!"

"So?"

A swear word escaped him and my back stiffened. "So you've had all of us worried and running up and down these lanes. And your fish are a mess. They've been jumping out of the tank and now Genie's shut the tank's top with a brick. They're extremely agitated. I've never seen fish behave that way!"

"Bullshit... Nobby would have told them..." I couldn't believe Nobby hadn't immediately relayed his conversation with me. If he hadn't, the lack of information would be driving Fish insane and they usually threw themselves against the walls when they were disturbed. That was one thing that stressed Genie. He was never able to predict their behaviour or get them to behave. Heck, they never listened to me! And it explained why Genie still hadn't come by looking for me.

"Who's Nobby?" Ashok looked at me, his face screwed up, lower lip jutting like a boxer - the dog, not the fellow with the gloves.

"Er, er... a friend." I tried pulling my arm from Ashok's grip, but it tightened.

"Boyfriend?"

"Hahaha. In a manner. He's got a healthy regard for me." How else could I describe a mosquito who was a mad hatter and loved rum and me in equal measure.

I pushed against Ashok, but he wouldn't relent. He pulled me along and I dragged my feet. The pain in my flesh was intense. I finally yowled and tried to prise away his fingers one by one. "If this is how you manhandled Eva, no wonder she's trying to run away from you!" I shouted.

A look of shock appeared on Ashok's face. He let me go immediately and I ran to Pretty Villa! I turned to look and saw Ashok standing where I left him. I stopped in my tracks. Me and my stupid mouth. I looked in the lobby and then I walked back slowly.

"Eva told you I hit her?" Ashok said, distressed.

"No, of course not!"

"But you said..."

"I didn't mean it. You were cutting off my blood circulation." I pushed back my sleeve to show him my bruises and gaped at my slightly pink flesh. There was no sign of trauma. "Er... my arm was hurting and you wouldn't let go," I said lamely. Ashok's mouth grew tight, his eyes narrowed and nostrils flared.

Shit. How did I land in it so often. I went up to him and grabbed his hand and urged him to run with me to the hotel. It was like trying to move a mountain. I tugged and pulled. Finally, I said, "I'm sorry, Ashok. I shouldn't have said that."

"Damn right, you shouldn't have! I treated her like a princess. And if anyone should come to her senses, it should be Eva!" Ashok snarled.

I stepped back to avoid the spit that escaped his lips. I moved towards him again. "I agree!" I grabbed his arm again in a futile effort to budge him.

"Bullshit! You're just playing me. You cousins are all the same."

"What do you mean?" 

"Bloody cock teases. Drama queens. And you women can't stay married!"

My blood ran cold. "Are you referring to me?" I was the only divorcée I knew among my first cousins, though cracks were showing in other marriages.

Ashok strode towards the hotel. I felt rage well up in me, I ran in front of him and tried to shove him backwards as hard as I could. "Oh no you don't, you smug creature. You don't just toss a bomb in the air and then run!"

Ashok looked flustered and stepped around me, he walked fast to the hotel lobby and I ran after him. I grabbed his shirt, hanging onto his collar and his shirt tore open at the buttons and I lost balance and fell. The rest of the group seemed plastered to their seats in the open lobby area, spellbound by the drama unfolding in front of them. I could see people get up and run toward us, but I had jumped on Ashok and was holding onto the squirming man as tight as I could.

"What are you doing?!" I heard Eva scream. I felt hands tear me away and Genie in my face, shocked. I felt drained. I could hear the elders shouting and see them shuffle as quickly as they could in our direction. And then I caught sight of Fish. I gave Ashok a mighty push and ran to them.

Arief blocked my path. His face was an angry red and he was opening his mouth to say something - mostly to shout. I slowed in front of him and put my hand on his mouth. "I'm sorry, Arief. Things got out of hand and I'm a great big idiot. I'm very sorry for hitting you with the table tennis ball and being rude. I hope you'll forgive me." I pushed past him, feeling my tears fall briskly.

I tossed the brick away and opened the tank. Fish were in different corners. I stroked their fins and whispered. I felt worse now because they looked battered, disturbed and dishevelled. I looked around and saw the mixed reactions of everyone. 

"I'll be right back, Fish." I closed the tank's lid and put the brick back on it. I ran to my room and grabbed my purse. I stared at the floor. Someone had kicked my nicely folded clothes to a corner. The act of violence had been unnecessary, but telling. I hesitated but then began to shove my things into my haversack.

"Stop it!" Roma was in the room holding my hands still with effort. "You're not going away!"

"Nope. Don't want to be treated like shit anymore. If someone feels like kicking my clothes about, I don't want to share a room with them."

"Eva didn't mean it!"

"You really mean Nidhi."

"If you leave, it'll be a sign of weakness - that you're running away. Daddy will have something truly awful to say."

"It's okay, Sweetie. Let anyone say whatever they want. I just want a little peace. I'm going to walk away and salvage some good sense, hang onto any equilibrium I can find."

Roma grabbed me, hugging me. "What happened to you?!"

I pushed her off. I wanted to tear Nidhi's clothes and stuff her cosmetics in the WC. But I had a sudden vision of brightly painted red lips flapping through a snore. For sure Karma is biding its time for you, Nidhi.

I galloped down the stairs and then slowed. I saw the group chattering to themselves, Arief was talking to Ashok and Ashok's arm was around Eva's shoulders and hers around his waist. He had changed into a t-shirt.

Genie's eyes were on me, taking in my bag and my wet face. He closed the tank lid, unlocked the wheel lock and started pushing the tank to the hotel's exit.

"Where are you taking the fish?" Uncle demanded.

I could feel Genie's reassuring smile even though his back was to me. "For a walk, Uncle."

"And where do you think you're going?" Uncle trained his eyes on me, coldly.

"For a walk, with Genie," I tried to say as calmly as I could.

"With your luggage?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you just go home! Run away. Not face up to anything!"

There was pin drop silence.

I struggled with every emotion in my being - but mostly impotent rage. Finally, not wanting to stay silent and mostly not wanting my silence to invite more disrespect from this pus-filled crowd, I stood in front of Uncle and said evenly and so that everyone could hear, "Sometimes, Uncle, it's okay to divorce someone who'll never be good to you. Sometimes it's okay for you to take your bag and run away from someone who can't be kind to you. Sometimes, it's okay to piss off someone, set a foot wrong and stand on your head and be silly. I'm going to make those mistakes, over and over and over and over. Whatever it is, I'll take it like a man. I'll see you at dinner. Maybe you'll want to wager something for my appearance."

Uncle continued to give me a filthy look. Roma's in laws looked happy. I charged towards her sisters in law and they, and their husbands, jumped back in fright, wiping off their smug smiles. Georgy looked mad. I instantly felt sorry for Roma.

I walked to the huge glass doors and felt a soft ball bounce against my back. I whirled around, feeling totally frustrated and ready to do violence. Roma's son Aarav, the precocious pre-teen who hated body contact, picked up his ball, slipped his hand in mine and said, "Let's go, Aunty. I want to see your new hotel." From the corner of my eye I saw his baby brother toss his table tennis bat into a potted plant and run toward us.

"Wait for me, Baby," my cousin Roma said, walking quickly. It unleashed angry cries from the pus pots. Georgy looked more pissed, but Roma was oblivious. She grabbed my bag, swung it on her shoulder and the crook of her arm squeezed my neck.

We moved forward and I heard another set of footsteps, albeit slower and heavier. Arief's eyes met mine. He pulled my bag off Roma's shoulder. Outside I felt the sunshine on my head and shoulders and it was less cold now, with a pleasant fragrance of cut grass in the air. I caught sight of Genie waiting for me at the gate, the lid of the tank open and my darlings lined near the top of the tank, watching. The children ran to the tank and Fish slid back in and out of reach.

Genie reached out and hugged me tightly. He murmured, "Are you okay?"

I nodded. When he still looked disbelieving I whispered, "Y-yes. I'd like to break a lot of arms and legs, but that thought is safely locked away in my subconscious." 

He loosened his hold. "Let's look to have fun these two days, okay?" 

I nodded. It had been a lousy day and a half, but there was still another day left to our holiday. Who knew what would be on the menu, but I was game for anything.

Fishy Chronicles 10: Genie Moves In; Takes Control

I jumped out of bed.

I had guests. One tiny insect and a large human. They needed tea.

Morning chai.
(Photo Credit: A. Peter)

I walked into the living room and stopped. The floor was hidden by plastic tree branches and boxes of decorations. Nobby was buzzing excitedly around Genie, who was cross-legged on the floor and working quickly.

“Tea?” I asked.

“It's ready. Breakfast too. Made dosas and chutney.”

Genie had already assumed control. When he had left me I had had a tough time getting my housekeeping act together.

This is a fictional series surrounding a group of Fish, Genie, a former manservant turned free soul and world traveller, Norbert, a rum-loving mosquito and the narrator, a single woman, living in a distant suburb of Mumbai.

None of them suspects each is going to goad the other into an adventure.  

Genie turns up unexpectedly and proceeds to take over the Christmas preparations.

Fish make a dramatic entry. But the whole group is jolted by the doorbell and what they find on their doorstep.

I poured out the tea into my mug and sat on an armchair. After a while I slid to the floor and began to put together the branches. Genie pushed twigs and branches towards me. He was organised. He had bunched together the boughs with their branches and carefully taped some of the disintegrating bits together.

Fish had often grumbled about how old and decrepit the tree looked. But when I told them it was over 35 years old and had been in my family home forever and loosened vivid memories of my parents for me, they stopped.

For every year Genie and Fish lived with me, I found a couple of nice, expensive ornaments on my TV stand – wrapped in lovely gift paper. Each of those gifts had been of exquisite glass or crystal and I threw away a number of my plastic Christmas tree ornaments over the years.

Fish and Genie denied the gifts originated from them. But it would be carefully rewrapped and tucked away in a sturdy box and stored in the loft a few days after the new year – all while I was asleep.

It troubled me that I didn’t know who had bought them, or that it should be a secret, but I soon forgot in the excitement.

I looked in the corner of the living room and felt relief. A fish tank had been set up. I had found it too heavy to pull out of the loft. But it was filled with water now. Fish's favourite couch had been set up and the water heater was switched on and their special plants were tethered to the base of the tank.

I looked at Genie. He smiled, “Water's dechlorinated. By the time they get here, the water should be fine.”

I smiled. “Do you ever switch off, Genie?”

“No.”

“Do you ever forget things?”

“No.”

“Do you have family?”

His eyes bored into me, and I felt a frisson of fear. He looked back at the tree and continued to gently put the branches together. “I think we can finish this in an hour. Let’s eat breakfast first.” He rose and disappeared into the kitchen.

“Do you want a happy Christmas, my dear?” Nobby asked. He sat on the rim of my cup and took a sip. Always my cup, never anyone else's.

“Yes.”

“Stop asking Genie personal questions – snowed-out Sweden may beckon.”

                                                                ******

Fish turned up in a limousine. They had turned up for a stress-free dinner, safely eluding the tedium of putting up Christmas decorations.

The limousine caused a stir in our street and it was an effort to get Fish out. But I saw Genie march to a door, throw it open, grab the tank and walk back into the building.

It stunned the society folks and I could see some of the older women clutch their hearts and the younger ones preen. I scurried back to my flat.

I saw Fish pinching their mouths shut, standing on the edge of the tank and diving in stylishly. Genie tried not to roll his eyes. And then a lovely sight greeted us. Fish jumped out of the water, twisted and turned and slid back into the water.

“When you watch them like this, you can forgive them anything, no, pipsqueak?” Genie murmured, struck by the Fish.

I nodded. We watched them move around the sofa, their books, the plants and then loll and squirm until they found their spots in the tank.

I turned to look at the window – at the darkening evening. Finally it had started feeling like Christmas. I had bought presents too.

The bell rang. I opened the door and found a covered basket on the doorstep.

It moved, or so I thought. And I screamed and backed into Genie. I pointed at it. I dearly hoped someone was giving me a puppy or kitten. I moved behind him.

Genie picked up the card on the hamper. “It’s got your name. Rather, all our names... including all of Fish. Quite a feat.” Another grin. Travel had loosened up Genie like nothing else had.

I felt a poke. “Open it,” Nobby ordered.

I lifted the top cover slowly and stared.

What was going on?
                       
                                                                ******

Fishy Chronicles 8: Mousetrap, The Play

Ticket for the play (Photo by A. Peter)

Weeks ago, soon after our supposed rapprochement, Fish called me to say they wanted to go for a play.

“It’s only the best and longest running ever!” Dimitri said.

“So I’ve heard. Tickets probably all sold out. Besides, they play only in London.” That wasn't true. The entire troupe would be in Mumbai soon, with Agatha monitoring them from above.

There was silence at the other end. I asked, “Are you lovelies gnashing your itsy bitsy teeth? The play is only for hoity toity SoBo Mumbaikars.”

“Or just discerning theatre lovers. You selectively forgot them.”

“Indeedy, I did.”

“Well?” Portas came on the line. He was a muscled fish that I had rescued from a public acquarium. Fish had told me he was in danger of dying and we had mounted a kidnap plan. Turned out Portas was an old buddy of theirs and I had needlessly perpetrated a crime.

“Well, what?” I said.

“Would you like to go with us?”

“Really?” I was thrilled. I hadn’t been able to get anyone to go with me... and then I saw how much the tickets cost. The cheapest had been sold out.

“Yes. We thought it’d be good to enjoy a day out. What say?”

“Yes.”

****** 

Fish took care of the logistics.

Apparently Garl, their current benefactor, had had a word with someone at the theatre and we were allowed in without a fuss. Plus, said benefactor had organised the best seats in the house. We sat a seat away from Simone Tata.

“You don’t want to sit right next to the big bigshots,” Gregory whispered when I hefted the tank into the seat next to mine. I needn’t have worried. No one gave us a second look. Apparently it is de rigeur for fish and mosquitos to attend plays.

“Did you know that the first play was staged in 1952 and had Richard Attenborough in the main role?” Dimitri splashed a little water at me to catch my attention. There were many famous people in the theatre. But I thought I saw Genie too.

“You’re imagining things. He's enjoying winter in Yorkshire,” Gregory said, staring in the direction I was. “Besides, he would have told us.”

“He likes to wear flimsy clothes, remember?Yorkshire would be too cold for him.” That wasn't quite true. Genie loved winters, and the colder it was the better. I’d seen him wear a threadbare muffler, a thin t-shirt and march into the snow in Kashmir. I thought he was the original stud. And unattainable. And considering he had money, I didn’t understand why he didn’t wear better clothes.

Norbert buzzed around me. “Please don’t bite anyone, Nobby. You may get hurt. I may get thrown out if I attempt to find you in a darkened hall.”

“Relax, my darling. It was an excellent idea having my dinner here. What exotic fare to be had. For sure, my nourishment will be top notch. Wheeee!” Nobby screamed in my ear and disappeared. My heart palpitated and the play started.

Fish fidgeted. They whispered and fussed and jostled each other for a better view. And then settled down. We discussed it and couldn’t remember if we’d read this book. Was it a book at all?

“No,” Gregory said, “It’s a play. And it’s not been published or the end is supposed to be hush hush, or some such. The worst part is that Wikipedia gives away the plot entirely, even though the cast will ask the audience to keep the end a secret.”

“You know the end?”

Gregory looked sheepish. “I read up on the play. Didn't want to come unprepared.”

“You should chill, Greg. It’s okay if you don’t read the review and plot beforehand.”

Gregory gasped. “Heresy!”

“In fact you should ask if you can replace any of the cast when they’re ill or want a break. You’d do well. You'd love it.”

Fish turned their backs on me. But I was not troubled at all. The play picked up speed and I nudged the fish tank. “You're missing stuff. Watch the play!”

Soon we were standing and clapping. Fish tossed water about and screamed and whistled and people glared at us.

When the crowd started moving towards the exit, I waved at a couple of people I knew, but suddenly I saw Nobby flying towards me. “Run, run, run!” he screamed into my ear and hid in my collar.

I quickly got the Fish into my pushcart and charged out. We shoved a youngster out of the way and almost crashed down the stairs. An older man grabbed the tank and held it steady. I yelled a thankyou at him and ran down the narrow path until I saw a small corner hidden from view.

We waited till the crowd thinned – but not before I saw my ex and his wife. I dragged in my breath and tried to slow my heart.

When we were seated on Marine Drive, I asked Nobby what happened.

“I was having a good meal and kept getting swatted about. I heard someone call for an usher -- complaining that there were mosquitos -- and then I saw Rohit and his latest squeeze.”

“They’re married now,” I mumbled, the familiar feelings of rejection and humiliation bubbling up. Rohit Chawla had been my boyfriend for many years until one day he moved out and took up with Nikita. I realised later that much planning had gone into it.

I shook the hopeless thoughts away. “So what happened, Nobby?”

“I bit ever inch of his bare flesh and of that she devil!”

I stared at my little friend – he looked defiant and angry. He had the biggest, bravest, most loving heart in the world beating in his tiny body.

I tried to find words. Finally I heard Dimitri clear his throat, “Rohit deserved it. You did good, Nobby!” And with that Fish somersaulted in their tank and laughed. They popped out of the tank and blew raspberries at every Rohit Chawla lookalike walking by the sea in the dimming evening light.

Suddenly things felt good. Nobby cuddled my neck and we let the cool, strong, smelly wind of the Arabian Sea wash over us. Yes, I was definitely looking forward to the next few weeks.