Fishy Chronicles 30: Drama in Lonavala

After a couple of hours directly under a sunny sun, I got up from my bench in the garden of Chez Perreira. I had to. Many of its staff had given me meaningful looks. Besides, the numbers of small children bouncing hard plastic balls off me had increased.

I threw the last ball that hit me into a tree. Luckily it lodged in the tree's branches and I could hear the ball's little evil owner begin to wail. I stepped out jauntily into the small kaccha lane, feeling slightly happier and, more than ever, assured that my soul was furiously winging its way to hell.

I could hear a collective tut-tut from my parents in heaven. Sometimes I wished they had been like other parents - whose children were always in the right, even if they were wrong. 

"I would have hated you," Aunty Glory once told me. "I can tolerate you because your parents kicked you into shape."

I had sat glumly in the Gonsalves flat, recounting some miserable event and hoping Aunty Glory would commiserate. She hadn't. She had given me a stiff lecture about the futility of feeling sorry for oneself, ordered me to straighten myself out and hurl myself unforgivingly at the world. Whatever that meant. I had been too browbeaten to ask for a clarification and I put it all down to quintessential, I-don't-care-about-your-feelings Gloryspeak.

The narrator, on holiday with Cousin Roma and her extended family, has had a nightmarish start to her holiday. She previously got into a fight with a guest of the family, Arief, disappeared without apologising and has now been found and been brought back, unwillingly, to the hotel. 

More drama ensues, with the narrator neck deep in shit. How will the day end?

I shook myself. I was in lovely Lonavala, which was still in the throes of a tepid winter. This cannot be equated with any other winter in any other place. I wished I had run out with a sweater, so I rubbed my arms, stamped my feet a few times and started walking to the town centre. I felt fear when I heard footsteps, felt a shadow fall on me and strong cold fingers on my shoulder and part of my neck. I whirled around, terror clutching my heart. Damn! I didn't think retribution would come so soon!

"Don't you get tired of running away!" Ashok said angrily, pink spots of colour showing in his fair cheeks. I tried to wriggle out of his grip. "And why can't you pick up your damned phone?!"

"I spoke to Roma!"

"I heard!"

"So?"

A swear word escaped him and my back stiffened. "So you've had all of us worried and running up and down these lanes. And your fish are a mess. They've been jumping out of the tank and now Genie's shut the tank's top with a brick. They're extremely agitated. I've never seen fish behave that way!"

"Bullshit... Nobby would have told them..." I couldn't believe Nobby hadn't immediately relayed his conversation with me. If he hadn't, the lack of information would be driving Fish insane and they usually threw themselves against the walls when they were disturbed. That was one thing that stressed Genie. He was never able to predict their behaviour or get them to behave. Heck, they never listened to me! And it explained why Genie still hadn't come by looking for me.

"Who's Nobby?" Ashok looked at me, his face screwed up, lower lip jutting like a boxer - the dog, not the fellow with the gloves.

"Er, er... a friend." I tried pulling my arm from Ashok's grip, but it tightened.

"Boyfriend?"

"Hahaha. In a manner. He's got a healthy regard for me." How else could I describe a mosquito who was a mad hatter and loved rum and me in equal measure.

I pushed against Ashok, but he wouldn't relent. He pulled me along and I dragged my feet. The pain in my flesh was intense. I finally yowled and tried to prise away his fingers one by one. "If this is how you manhandled Eva, no wonder she's trying to run away from you!" I shouted.

A look of shock appeared on Ashok's face. He let me go immediately and I ran to Pretty Villa! I turned to look and saw Ashok standing where I left him. I stopped in my tracks. Me and my stupid mouth. I looked in the lobby and then I walked back slowly.

"Eva told you I hit her?" Ashok said, distressed.

"No, of course not!"

"But you said..."

"I didn't mean it. You were cutting off my blood circulation." I pushed back my sleeve to show him my bruises and gaped at my slightly pink flesh. There was no sign of trauma. "Er... my arm was hurting and you wouldn't let go," I said lamely. Ashok's mouth grew tight, his eyes narrowed and nostrils flared.

Shit. How did I land in it so often. I went up to him and grabbed his hand and urged him to run with me to the hotel. It was like trying to move a mountain. I tugged and pulled. Finally, I said, "I'm sorry, Ashok. I shouldn't have said that."

"Damn right, you shouldn't have! I treated her like a princess. And if anyone should come to her senses, it should be Eva!" Ashok snarled.

I stepped back to avoid the spit that escaped his lips. I moved towards him again. "I agree!" I grabbed his arm again in a futile effort to budge him.

"Bullshit! You're just playing me. You cousins are all the same."

"What do you mean?" 

"Bloody cock teases. Drama queens. And you women can't stay married!"

My blood ran cold. "Are you referring to me?" I was the only divorcée I knew among my first cousins, though cracks were showing in other marriages.

Ashok strode towards the hotel. I felt rage well up in me, I ran in front of him and tried to shove him backwards as hard as I could. "Oh no you don't, you smug creature. You don't just toss a bomb in the air and then run!"

Ashok looked flustered and stepped around me, he walked fast to the hotel lobby and I ran after him. I grabbed his shirt, hanging onto his collar and his shirt tore open at the buttons and I lost balance and fell. The rest of the group seemed plastered to their seats in the open lobby area, spellbound by the drama unfolding in front of them. I could see people get up and run toward us, but I had jumped on Ashok and was holding onto the squirming man as tight as I could.

"What are you doing?!" I heard Eva scream. I felt hands tear me away and Genie in my face, shocked. I felt drained. I could hear the elders shouting and see them shuffle as quickly as they could in our direction. And then I caught sight of Fish. I gave Ashok a mighty push and ran to them.

Arief blocked my path. His face was an angry red and he was opening his mouth to say something - mostly to shout. I slowed in front of him and put my hand on his mouth. "I'm sorry, Arief. Things got out of hand and I'm a great big idiot. I'm very sorry for hitting you with the table tennis ball and being rude. I hope you'll forgive me." I pushed past him, feeling my tears fall briskly.

I tossed the brick away and opened the tank. Fish were in different corners. I stroked their fins and whispered. I felt worse now because they looked battered, disturbed and dishevelled. I looked around and saw the mixed reactions of everyone. 

"I'll be right back, Fish." I closed the tank's lid and put the brick back on it. I ran to my room and grabbed my purse. I stared at the floor. Someone had kicked my nicely folded clothes to a corner. The act of violence had been unnecessary, but telling. I hesitated but then began to shove my things into my haversack.

"Stop it!" Roma was in the room holding my hands still with effort. "You're not going away!"

"Nope. Don't want to be treated like shit anymore. If someone feels like kicking my clothes about, I don't want to share a room with them."

"Eva didn't mean it!"

"You really mean Nidhi."

"If you leave, it'll be a sign of weakness - that you're running away. Daddy will have something truly awful to say."

"It's okay, Sweetie. Let anyone say whatever they want. I just want a little peace. I'm going to walk away and salvage some good sense, hang onto any equilibrium I can find."

Roma grabbed me, hugging me. "What happened to you?!"

I pushed her off. I wanted to tear Nidhi's clothes and stuff her cosmetics in the WC. But I had a sudden vision of brightly painted red lips flapping through a snore. For sure Karma is biding its time for you, Nidhi.

I galloped down the stairs and then slowed. I saw the group chattering to themselves, Arief was talking to Ashok and Ashok's arm was around Eva's shoulders and hers around his waist. He had changed into a t-shirt.

Genie's eyes were on me, taking in my bag and my wet face. He closed the tank lid, unlocked the wheel lock and started pushing the tank to the hotel's exit.

"Where are you taking the fish?" Uncle demanded.

I could feel Genie's reassuring smile even though his back was to me. "For a walk, Uncle."

"And where do you think you're going?" Uncle trained his eyes on me, coldly.

"For a walk, with Genie," I tried to say as calmly as I could.

"With your luggage?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you just go home! Run away. Not face up to anything!"

There was pin drop silence.

I struggled with every emotion in my being - but mostly impotent rage. Finally, not wanting to stay silent and mostly not wanting my silence to invite more disrespect from this pus-filled crowd, I stood in front of Uncle and said evenly and so that everyone could hear, "Sometimes, Uncle, it's okay to divorce someone who'll never be good to you. Sometimes it's okay for you to take your bag and run away from someone who can't be kind to you. Sometimes, it's okay to piss off someone, set a foot wrong and stand on your head and be silly. I'm going to make those mistakes, over and over and over and over. Whatever it is, I'll take it like a man. I'll see you at dinner. Maybe you'll want to wager something for my appearance."

Uncle continued to give me a filthy look. Roma's in laws looked happy. I charged towards her sisters in law and they, and their husbands, jumped back in fright, wiping off their smug smiles. Georgy looked mad. I instantly felt sorry for Roma.

I walked to the huge glass doors and felt a soft ball bounce against my back. I whirled around, feeling totally frustrated and ready to do violence. Roma's son Aarav, the precocious pre-teen who hated body contact, picked up his ball, slipped his hand in mine and said, "Let's go, Aunty. I want to see your new hotel." From the corner of my eye I saw his baby brother toss his table tennis bat into a potted plant and run toward us.

"Wait for me, Baby," my cousin Roma said, walking quickly. It unleashed angry cries from the pus pots. Georgy looked more pissed, but Roma was oblivious. She grabbed my bag, swung it on her shoulder and the crook of her arm squeezed my neck.

We moved forward and I heard another set of footsteps, albeit slower and heavier. Arief's eyes met mine. He pulled my bag off Roma's shoulder. Outside I felt the sunshine on my head and shoulders and it was less cold now, with a pleasant fragrance of cut grass in the air. I caught sight of Genie waiting for me at the gate, the lid of the tank open and my darlings lined near the top of the tank, watching. The children ran to the tank and Fish slid back in and out of reach.

Genie reached out and hugged me tightly. He murmured, "Are you okay?"

I nodded. When he still looked disbelieving I whispered, "Y-yes. I'd like to break a lot of arms and legs, but that thought is safely locked away in my subconscious." 

He loosened his hold. "Let's look to have fun these two days, okay?" 

I nodded. It had been a lousy day and a half, but there was still another day left to our holiday. Who knew what would be on the menu, but I was game for anything.

Fishy Chronicles 29: Bad Made Worse

I woke up with a start.

Eva was talking in her sleep. I could see light streaming in through the windows and Fish looking fed up. They were massed on the couch in the tank, with ear plugs and ear phones, either trying to block the sounds from the beds or drown them with music. 

My watch said 5.45am and I could see the sky lightening. I got up, took my towel and went for a bath.

"Wait!" Penaaz swam to the top of the tank. I went closer. "I just realised we could have slept in the bathtub and closed the bathroom door."

"That's not a bad idea. Though I think my body would be crooked forever."

Bath over I messaged Genie if he wanted to have morning tea with me. I wheeled the tank out of the hotel room door and Fish let out a torrent when they saw Genie. 

"You won't believe the hell we've been through..."

"An evil, evil business..."

"It was like being tied to a hyena in constant pain..."

"They need to be put down..."

"... need their oesophaguses checked..."

Genie crouched on his haunches to listen to Fish. "Check their oesophaguses... why?"

Gregory pushed the others aside and filled his chest. "Hideous, guttural moaning all through the night! It was violent, unadulterated torture!"

Genie grinned. "Well, you'll have to get used to it. There's no way out."

Penaaz shoved Gregory aside, "Can't we move in with you, Genie?" she begged piteously. I was surprised at her. Eva and Nidhi must have traumatised them. I had been dog tired and slept immediately and deeply. I suspect that was why Fish were annoyed with me and sucking up to Genie now.

"You're stuck, I'm afraid. The guys snore too."

I tried to keep from smiling. But my amusement died soon. Only if I ran around Lonavala's perimeter, played table tennis like crazy and swam 50 laps might I pass out at night and stay comatose. Tonight seemed a grim business.

                                           ******

This is a fictional series about the narrator, her former manservant and now friend, and former pet fish. They have followed the narrator on a holiday with her relatives and have spent a miserable night with roommates from hell. Though she brushes off the previous night's irritations, the narrator is headed for more trouble.

                                           ******

At nearly 10am, and because Georgy, his mother and Ashok banged their door, the two women came down to the dining room for breakfast. Almost all the food was over and the hotel staff shrugged their shoulders. They did offer to get sandwiches for the two women.

But Uncle had other ideas. "They will eat what is available. Tomorrow they'll set an alarm and come on time for breakfast," he said coldly and shook out his newspaper. He was stretched out on a stately hardwood armchair, similar to the teak wood ones we had at our home in Kerala. 

So Eva and Nidhi ate cold soggy toast, relieved by the taste of butter and marmalade. Arief, Ashok and I played table tennis and when Eva was near me, I grabbed her arm and pushed a bat into her hand.

"Hey!" Nidhi said. I didn't understand the affinity Nidhi was showing her sister-in-law, my cousin, Eva.

"Give Nidhi a bat someone," I said. Nidhi hated sweat. I had never seen her run and right now, even on holiday, she tottered about ramrod straight on a pair of stilettos. I felt like whacking her, but it was not lost on me how much interest the men were taking in her. Ashok, pushed his bat into his sister's hand and muscled her into place at the table with Arief.

Arief looked at Nidhi's feet, "Are you sure you'll be able to run in those?" he smiled, all sexy and gooey. She opened her mouth defensively, but with the warmth of Arief's gaze she soon slipped off her sandals daintily, making a great show of it. I could see my no-nonsense uncle and the other conservative Syrian Christian elders watching it all. 

I hit the ball to their side of the table and it bounced and shot past Nidhi's ear, making her drop her bat in fright. Even though I nonchalantly fiddled with my table tennis bat - like tennis professionals did while concentrating but secretly plotting the routing of their rivals - I could feel my uncle glaring at me. I wondered why Nidhi's parents hadn’t stopped with Ashok and whether they knew about family planning then, but...

"Ouch! Asshole!” I glared at Arief. He’d served and the ball had smacked and bounced off my collarbone. I dropped my bat and grabbed the stinging portion of flesh and bone, feeling an absolute fool. The goat was looking at and fiddling with his bat. People laughed. I glared at those assembled. Genie grinned and Fish watched with interest.

Some people moved closer to the table and when Arief looked away I served. It hit him under his chin. He glared at me while rubbing his chin. I could see Ashok and Genie move nearer to me, on either side. Now I felt some panic. 

“That was unnecessary,” said Mr Hot Uncool Guy from across the table. 

“Yes. My aim was really off.” I moved to my left, shouldering a bewildered Georgy into my place, to avoid having to deal with Arief's next volley. Nidhi looked at me witheringly. In response, I said, “You think you’ll be able to run without your stilettos, Nids?”

“My name is NID-H-E-E.”

“We’ll make sure we win the game,” Arief butted in.

“At this pace I won’t make it to the Wimbledon finals,” I said.

“Unlikely you’ll even get a wild card or be allowed to step on the grounds. You're too much of a kook to be taken seriously.”

I could only suck in my breath in shock at his rudeness. I felt worse at the burst of laughter around me and felt the burn of humiliation. My eyes filled.

“That’s enough, you two!” Ashok said, bewildered and upset. I could feel Genie's arm around my shoulder and angry cries from the tank. I couldn’t bear to look at anyone. I put my bat down and walked slowly out of the hotel. 

I could hear Roma's raised voice. But I didn’t care, I sprinted out into the road as soon as I was out of sight of the door. What a huge mistake I'd made coming here. With people I didn’t care for, always making up someone's numbers and being an idiot and overdoing the pettiness. I felt foolish and ashamed of myself. 

“Quit the pity party,” I heard Aunty Glory say. “You asked for it,” was probably what my dad would have said. “He could have done it better,” my mom would have said. Or, in this instance, “You deserved it.”

I heard him before I saw him. Nobby, my mosquito friend, sat at eye level on a leaf of a bush. I was sitting on a bench in the garden of another hotel. It would take the hotel's staff a while to discover me and longer to figure out I wasn't a guest.  

“Are you okay?” Nobby asked. He didn’t attempt to sit on me or hover.

“Yes.”

“Your nose is red.”

“Okay.”

“Why were you so rude to Arief and Nidhi?”

I opened my mouth to defend myself but I couldn’t. I’d just been rotten to both for no reason. I shook my head and hunched. I couldn’t look at him.

“You know, Fish shouted at me to bite Arief. When I didn’t they threw water out of the tank. But worse, everyone’s upset and your rudeness has spoiled the holiday atmosphere.”

I nodded, tears spilling. I’d been an idiot, with my antagonism for Nidhi getting the better of me. I felt inferior sometimes, the way she looked down on me and never had a nice thing to say to me. Still, spitefulness had not been the solution. 

My phone rang. It was Roma. After several rings I picked up. She gave me an earful and ordered me to return to Pretty Villa. 

“N-No, Roma. Not just now. I’m going to the market. I’ll be back later.” I cut the line before she could reply and didn’t pick up her call again. I was a fool through and through. I didn’t have any money in my pockets, but I was damned if I was going to go back to the hotel now.

                                             ******

Fishy Chronicles 28: Noises In The Dark

I tapped the door several times, harder each time.

"Maybe they've gone somewhere," Ashok said. My new found table tennis buddies - Georgy, his cousin Ashok, Roma and her kids, and Arief and Genie were massed behind me in the hotel's corridor. I'd spent most of the evening and night playing table tennis and cards with them and now we were all reluctantly going to bed. I looked at my watch. It was past 1am. 

Roma slapped her hand against the doorbell and held it down for several seconds. Georgy pulled her hand off the bell and glared at his wife. My darling cousin was in an excellent mood, her beautiful black hair sticking up in places, some wisps stuck to her pink, sweaty face. She beamed at Georgy. 

I heard the bolts of the door being opened with violence. A wild-eyed Nidhi glared at me. She opened her mouth to say something - rude, I assumed - when she stopped and became wary. Her eyes were fixed on the person behind me. When I turned, I could see Genie looking coolly at Nidhi. 

She turned and marched back into the room. I waved at the others and walked in. My bag, previously on one of the two single beds, was now on the ground. There was a lone made-up mattress on the floor in a corner of the room. My cousin Eva was fast asleep and her sister-in-law Nidhi was giving me a smug look. She switched off the light, leaving me in the dark and disoriented. Bitch.

I switched on my mobile phone torch and looked at Fish. Gregory was reading a book, Penaaz was curled on the couch in their tank, hugging a cushion and watching a movie on Netflix, and Dimitri, Portas and Pervez were waiting for me.

"Well?" Portas asked.

"What did you do after dinner? Nidhi cribbed about you to Eva and finally Eva disappeared into the bathroom for a very long bath. Why did you stay away for so long?" Pervez said, unusually chatty.

I gestured at Nidhi and Eva with my phone torch. Nidhi was trying to glare at me in the semi dark. I switched on a small lamp.

"Switch off the light, I can't sleep!" Nidhi hissed.

I flashed my torchlight into her eyes. "What?" I asked innocently. Why did she bother me so much. Still I kept the light flashing into her eyes and then when she opened her mouth to scream, I switched it off. "Oops, Nidhi. Didn't mean to do that. Let me keep this lamp switched on for a bit, else it would have to be the torch. That would be too bright for you."

"Hmph!" the malignant lump in the middle of the single bed said. She had covered herself up tightly with her sheet and blocked me out. Good riddance. I turned to Fish.

"I played table tennis and cards with the cool ones. Luckily all the oldies and Roma's in laws went to bed early."

"Arief, Ashok's friend?"

"When he's not knocking the glass walls of a fish tank Arief can be surprisingly charming. Georgy was properly concerned he had a competitor."

Fish snickered and then laughed. "Poor Georgy."

Poor Georgy, indeed. He'd never notice even if a handsome prince on a white stallion plucked Roma off the ground and carried her off. He even needed Roma to serve him food. Though Roma chafed, she did as she was bid. She was married to the goat and fond of him. Who knew why.

"I'm never going to marry anyone like him," Eva told one of our cousins in shock when she met Georgy for the first time. But strangely it was Georgy who was pestering Ashok and Eva to give their marriage a second chance.

"What plans for tomorrow?" Portas asked.

"We're going to have a good breakfast and head out for a long walk."

"Okay."

"I meant the young and limber hoomans."

"We know. We're going off with Genie to the market," Portas showed me his middle fin and he and Pervez turned their backs on me.

"I'm with you, Hon," Dimitri smiled. He pulled himself half out of the tank. I kissed his head and he slipped back into the water.

"Y-Y-You're disgusting! Kissing dirty fish. I've seen it all now!" Nidhi spluttered from her bed.

"I know. I'm so glad. Now go to sleep, or I won't wake you for breakfast." Before she could say anything I switched off the light and the room went dark.

I heard Nidhi toss angrily in her bed. Good. Her rage would keep her awake some.

Me, I was going to dream of my handsome table tennis partners. Tomorrow promised to be fun - even with the threat of Nidhi's company.

                                   ******

This is a fictional series about the 30-something narrator, Fish - her former pets, and Genie - her former manservant and now friend.  

They are following her on a family holiday with her uncomfortable relatives and her cousin Roma's in laws. She is forced to share a room with her cousin Eva and Eva's sister-in-law Nidhi. The narrator tries to stay out of their line of vision for as long as possible, but some things are not meant to be.

                                    ******

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" 

I could feel water spatter on me but it was unsuccessful in rousing the two snorers - Eva and Nidhi. I had wondered if snoring was one of the troubles besetting Eva's and Ashok's union. Nah. People could live through snoring - they found ways. Besides, how did one convince a judge that a spouse's snoring was reasonable grounds to end a marriage.

Water hit me again. "Stop it, you! It's not me snoring. It's those two in the beds. Can't you hear the racket from there!" I waved my arms at where the snoring was coming from in the almost dark - a sliver of moonlight mixed with tubelight crept through the gap the curtains had missed, making for some visibility.

Penaaz was leaning out of the tank in agitation, "Stuff something in their mouths!"

"It might kill them."

"Good riddance!" Gregory shouted, tossing water with his fins in the direction of the snores.

We watched fearfully as Eva turned on to her side, but continued to sleep.

"Go and goose them!" Gregory ordered me.

I shook my head, belatedly realising they couldn't see me in the dark. When I had stayed silent for three seconds too long Gregory said, "I insist you poke them. Research says if you do, they'll stop and it's better to get them to stop snoring as it is detrimental to their health."

"You mean not snoring is detrimental to their health?" I understood what Gregory was saying, but I had been unable to sleep. And the awful noises in the dark made me cranky.

"Hey!"

"Hey, yourself! I'm not going to go and poke either of them! Get used to that awful keening for the next two nights."

"Or we can go down the road and rent another room... with Genie."

"That's a thought, Gregory."

"An excellent idea," Dimitri said.

"Perfect," Portas said, happily.

I had a sudden thought, "Does Genie snore?"

I could see Fish bobbing in the tank, the dim light from outside giving them an eerie, unreal look. They stayed silent, loyal.

"Technically, Genie and I have never shared a room. Just a home. People might talk if we go together to the hotel next door," I said into the silence.

"Yet you didn't think of that when we landed up here," Gregory said.

"Actually, I did. But I figured there wasn't much that could happen with five chaperones staring at us non-stop. Ten saucer-like staring eyes could scare even hardened criminals."

"You don't think he's a criminal..." Dimitri said.

"Not anymore. He..."

"CAN YOU STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF?!"  Nidhi screamed.

"Only if you stop snoring to yourself," I countered. I patted myself for my superb comeback.

"Shhh, Nidhi. You gave me a fright!" Princess Eva said, turning on the lamp next to her. She was sitting up - a pretty picture in a flimsy baby pink nightdress that was absolutely lost on us. 

"Tell your cousin to stop talking and go to sleep," Nidhi shouted.

"But, she's fast asleep... and snoring!"

"She was making a racket just now, talking to her damn fish!"

"You've always had your claws in her. Go to sleep, Nidhi."

"But..."

"Shhh!"

I stifled a giggle under the sheet I had wrapped tightly around my body. I could hear Fish laugh softly. I was surprised Eva put down her sister-in-law, especially on my behalf. 

I had two more days. I was going to be a raath ka keeda*. It was unlikely I was going to sleep much in a strange bed, in any case.

                                   ******
* Night insect

Fishy Chronicles 27: Mutiny At Pretty Villa

"There's a problem?" Roma was at my door. Genie, Fish and I had arrived in the morning at Pretty Villa in Lonavala, just outside Mumbai, for our three-day holiday with family.

"Oh?" 

"Where are we going to put Genie?"

"With me," I unpacked Fish's things and put their comics and eats within sight. I eyed Genie's holdall on his bed. He had disappeared soon after we came to our room. 

"Are you nuts?" Roma said, throwing herself onto one of the beds, holding her head with both hands and staring at the ceiling.

"Sometimes. What's the problem? Genie and I have lived in the same flat for years, even after Papa and Mummy died." I had wondered when someone would bring it up, especially considering the conundrum that our cousin Eva, her estranged husband Ashok and her new boyfriend Arief represented. "Is Arief really her boyfriend?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Couldn't she have gotten better?" Roma's eyes moved from the ceiling fan and glared at me. But I couldn't help it, "What's wrong with Ashok? He's way smarter than Arief!"

"Yes, but we have a problem on our hands."

"Really?"

"Both sets of parents are upset Eva is sharing a room with Arief and when Mummy spoke to Eva she said if you and Genie could share a room so could she with Arief."

"Hahahahaha!"

"Dammit! It's not funny!"

"Of course it is! Genie and I have been living together for years - whatever twist anyone wants to put on it! All the aunties and uncles had issues with it even when my parents were alive. Genie even left a couple of times and returned - I do not know why. I've never been able to make out the excuses. My parents thought of him as a son. He thinks of me as a sister. What is there to argue." 

Roma's mouth opened, she looked at me coldly and then shook her head vigorously. "No one for a moment thinks there's anything innocent between you!"

I felt shock, though I'd never been in doubt of what my relatives, or the rest of the world, thought. "Well, there's nothing I can do to change the way they think."

"Of course you can! You can ask Genie to leave!" Roma burst out. "Or-Or-Or he can live nearby and come over every day for work."

"People are going to talk anyway."

This is a fictional series about the narrator, her former manservant Genie and their fish. They arrive at Hotel Pretty Villa on a vacation with the narrator's family and get sucked into family politics and lingering resentments. The unpleasantness peaks, forcing a cousin to step in.

"This arrangement," Roma spread her hands and looked about the room, her eyes settling with distaste on Genie's holdall, "isn't going to work." 

"Tell Aunty to put Eva and Arief in different rooms!"

"Mummy did. The only option is Nidhi or you sharing a room with Eva. Nidhi refused." Nidhi was Ashok's sister and Roma's dad had tipped off Ashok that Eva was going to bring a boyfriend. 

"Tell Eva and Nidhi to fuck off."

"Please, babe. Adjust some!"

"There's nothing to adjust! Eva has no business sharing a room with Arief especially with Ashok around and even more so since they're still married!"

"You move in with Eva and we can move Genie to the servants dormitory."

I felt shock and anger begin to rise. "Did you call us here to insult us?"

"No! No, of course not!"

"I'll have a chat with Aunty."

"Baby, think logically..."

"Out!" 

"Babe..." Roma tried to hug me. 

"What I can't believe is you thinking I'm having a rip-roaring affair with Genie! You don't know him, but don't you know me?!"

"Umm..." Roma twisted her hands.

"I'm damned if I'm going to let you guys treat him like the help. He has never been and has never considered himself one!"

"But he..."

I walked out of the door. I kicked every door until I reached the one where i could hear an argument. I banged the door with my fist, wishing I was pounding the shit out of all my relatives. A red-faced, agitated Arief opened the door. "You!"

I pushed my way in. By now, everyone had followed me. My aunt and uncle were very angry with me. Nothing could make me stop. But I did. My cousin Eva was in tears. She rubbed her face with a disintegrating tissue but the tears continued to fall. 

I felt all my anger melt. I quickly went to her and held her. "What's wrong, Eva?"

She shook her head. I turned to Arief, "What the hell did you do to her!"

"Nothing," Arief shrugged. He looked embarrassed.

"Did he hit you, Eva?!" 

Eva shook her head. 

"So why are you crying!" 

There was silence. And more tears. I hugged her and said softly in her ear, "What is it, darling? We'll sort it out, just tell me. I won't tell the others."

"I want to go back," she whispered in my neck.

"Why?"

"I made a huge mistake coming."

"Are you still angry with Ashok?"

She started to cry more. I said to the crowd behind me, "I'll move into this room with Eva and Arief can move into my room."

There was a ripple of discord behind me. "What?" Kurian Aunty, Roma's mother in law, said. "You want Arief to share a room with your servant?"

"HE'S NOT A SERVANT!" 

"But you told us he's your butler and Man Friday," Roma's mom said, confused and nervous.

"He visited me for Christmas and is staying back to sort out stuff."

"Why didn't you just say so!" Georgy, Roma's husband said.

"Did you think anyone would believe me?"

There was silence. 

"Does anyone believe me now?" I asked the group in front of me. They looked confused and angry, while the Kurian women looked happy at the implied salaciousness.

I heard a throat clear. Genie said, "I'll get a room down the road." There was disbelief and the group turned to stare at him. 

"Good. I'll come too," I said.

There was uproar, with everyone talking at once. 

"Quiet!" Uncle shouted at the group. He turned to me, "You will do no such thing!"

"Er, I'm going back, Uncle," Arief said.

"Sensible decision," Kurian Uncle, Georgy's father, said. 

Ashok muscled his way in. "Stop it, Uncle. Arief, you're staying right here. Genie, you're not going down the road either. You're a part of the family and whatever anyone has to say," he glared at his assorted family, "they can keep it to themselves! There will be no more rudeness on this trip - we're all friends and family."

We stared at him, nonplussed. Finally Roma's mother broke the silence. "So where does everyone sleep tonight?" 

"Right, Aunty. Arief, Genie and I will take this room. The three ladies will sleep in the other room."

"I will not!" Nidhi said hotly.

"You have a better idea?" Ashok asked, his body very still. I wondered suddenly if he was prone to violence. I felt a frisson of discomfort.

"But that will mean we'll have to give up one room."

"Yes. I've suddenly made your holiday cheaper," he told his sister unnecessarily.

"I don't want to..."

"You will."

Nidhi closed her mouth and walked off. "Right," Ashok smiled at the group. "All's settled. Back to your rooms everyone. Genie, let's get our gear."

They moved out, leaving the elders staring at us blankly. Then Roma's father walked out, her mom followed and then her parents in law and sisters in law and their spouses. 

Roma and I sat on the bed, with our arms around Eva in between us. She was still crying.

"What, baby?" Roma asked Eva. She didn't answer. We stayed until the guys returned with their luggage. Ashok looked Eva over. His eyes never left her face.

We left Eva in our room and Roma and I walked quickly to the front lawn and sat on the large swing. 

"I'm not comfortable with us being in full view of everyone," I said. I wanted to hide in a deep hole and hold myself tightly. 

"Ashok is a moron," Roma muttered.

"What?" 

"Of all the times to be cost conscious!"

"What are you saying, Roma?"

She turned angrily to me. I shrank back. "Did you notice the way Ashok looked at Eva? He still loves her!"

I had noticed too. He hadn't cared she was with another man. "So?"

"So? So! Soooo!!!! He could have sorted things out by just moving into the room with Eva. Staked his claim! Kicked every other man's butt! Tossed Arief out on his ear! Bloody hell! Instead he's saving money for Daddy!! ARRRRGHHHHHHH!" she screamed.

She grabbed my lapel and shook me, "For once in his life, he could have been a he-fucking-man and said he was going to share the room with Eva!"

"O-O-One problem with that!" I stammered, trying to free the front of my shirt from Roma's grasp.

"WHAT!" Roma spat into my eye.

"Eva might not have wanted it."

"Bah! Not a chance! Just bloody ego, both of them!"

I agreed. The moment Eva had told me she had made a mistake, I knew what she meant. Ashok was a kind man. For both of them, I hoped things would work out. I hated the fact that there was such a big audience. The Kurian women hated Eva, but everyone in my family liked Ashok.

Roma grabbed the flesh of my thigh and squeezed hard. I yelped in pain. She shushed me angrily and gestured with her chin at the large bush near us. 

I could see Ashok smoking alone on the ground floor, near the entrance leading to the garden, his eyes caught by something upstairs. We looked in the direction he was looking - Eva was in the balcony staring at him.

The pain in my thigh became unbearable. I threw off Roma's hand and massaged my thigh. 

Genie and Arief came out of the hotel and spoke to Ashok. The three of them walked up to us. "We're going to have cutting chai from down the road. Want to join us?" Genie asked.

"Sure," Roma said, immediately on her feet. She put her thumb and index fingers into her mouth, let out a shrill whistle and shouted, "Eva, we're getting tea! Hurry up and come downstairs!" 

Eva started and immediately left the balcony. Roma smiled.

"Er, Georgy?" I asked Roma. 

"Oh, he's probably with Mummy. In very safe hands. Come on, Eva's here!" 

Roma looped her arms into Eva's and mine and dragged us towards the gate. The men followed.