Fishy Chronicles 31: Kiss And Make Up

I watched Roma's children run ahead in the small tree-lined lane in Lonavala. Roma was some way ahead, walking and talking with Genie, who was wheeling along the fish tank.

Beside me walked Arief, the unsuspecting friend of my, until this morning, estranged married cousins Eva and Ashok. I had messed Arief about in the morning with a well-aimed table tennis ball, run out of the hotel, been dragged back to Pretty Villa Hotel by Roma's cousin-in-law Ashok and had a massive war of words with him. Plus, I may have ticked off a few people, who subsequently played football with my things in my hotel room. I blame Ashok's sister Nidhi, with whom I had been sharing the room, though now I think it could have been anybody.

The narrator does her best to burn her bridges with the family on their trip to Lonavala... and almost succeeds.  

Only Arief, a family guest and unwitting victim of family tensions, insists on setting right their status quo. One gesture sends their equation into an immediate skid.

"You owe me an apology," Arief said.

I stopped in my tracks. In my mind I had apologised profusely - not preserving an iota of my dignity. Then I had left Pretty Villa Hotel with my baggage and posse and my cousin Roma, her kids and Arief had tagged along. "Is that why you followed me out?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what exactly."

"I think we haven't made up properly."

"Really? I apologised from the inner recesses of my recesses and it felt like I grovelled and dug a hole and buried myself. The only thing I didn't do was prostrate in front of you... it didn't occur to me!"

Arief's head tipped back and he laughed. He didn't sound like a man still nursing a grudge against a violent, loony, rival table tennis player. "Right. I meant kissing and making up."

"Right. That's all that's left, kissing," I said sarcastically. "We've already made up, and I have witnesses... though many are likely to turn hostile if put to the test..." I looked up, feeling grumpy that my day was slowly losing its fine wintry Lonavala charm. The sun went dark and I felt a pair of warm, damp lips on my mouth. I felt deep shock radiate through me and my cheeks, forehead and neck ignited. I looked frantically at Roma and Genie. They were still walking and talking.

I spluttered. "What the fig!" Arief's head bent threateningly again and I leapt back in fright. But I felt... I pulled my sweater away from my neck, feeling unbearably hot and sped to the side of the road. Idiot, go back, I heard a voice telling me. The voice seemed to be mine. Arief was grinning at me broadly, amused. He held out his arm and tilted his head toward the road ahead and nodded. "All good now. Come along."

I stayed on my side of the road and walked shakily, trying to hug the dew-damp walls lining the narrow road.

I was breathing too fast and tried to slow it. What had just happened. Shit! Fish were now at the back of the tank, watching. Nothing escaped them. BUT WHAT THE EFFF!

"Come on! You're acting ridiculous trying to walk through the walls. The other two will turn around any moment and you'll have to explain why," Arief laughed.

That got me to the middle of the lane. Arief held out his arm again. I looked away. He came closer and put his arm around my neck in a swift movement. I struggled to break free, feeling panic. "Don't shout. We'll have to explain what happened and I'm not inclined to lie," Arief said, still smiling.

"What are you playing at?! This morning it was Eva and now you're making a move on me?!"

"Tut, tut. I was never with Eva. At least I was interested in her until I landed here yesterday and discovered she's married to Ashok, who, by the way, is an old friend."

"If he's an old friend how come you didn't know he's married to Eva!"

"I agree. We're work friends. A drink here, and occasional guys night out. We lost touch some years ago, but I was uncomfortable with us being here in the middle of a family holiday and Ashok watching."

"So why didn't you just leave?"

"Felt awkward. And it felt like running away."

"So what's this kiss about?"

Arief grinned and took off his arm from around my neck. He put my arm through his and clamped it to his side.

"Let go, Arief."

"Why?"

I didn't answer. Fish were squashed against the back of the tank, trying to get their best views.

"You think Genie will get pissed off?" Arief's breath shifted some of the strands of hair off my forehead. His face was too close to mine.

"He won't like you manhandling me, for sure," I mumbled, unnerved by Arief looming in my face.

"Reallllyyy," Arief chuckled. "He doesn't seem possessive. Though for some reason everyone seems to think you guys are a pair."

"Yes. A great big bunch of idiots they are. I'm surprised you're not thinking that way," I looked up nervously. But Arief was looking at Genie, a very strange thoughtful look on his face. I tried freeing my arm, but it was still in a solid grip.

"And Genie seems as devoted to your fish as you are. Strange," he said.

"Er, why is it strange?"

"Doesn't fit in with his macho image."

"He's got a very tender side." Arief laughed and I bristled. "What's funny?"

"Did you know Mr Poonawala always brought his fish to work?"

Yes. "No."

"Your ex knew."

"My ex?" all my excitement withered away.

"Who died?" Arief said.

"What?"

"You went cold. What happened?"

"We're talking about my ex. I don't know what else could kill a conversation faster." I started to pull my arm out of his, but Arief didn't let go.

"How did you guys get the fish? Everyone at the agency wondered."

"I don't know."

"You're lying!"

"Mr P gave them to my ex. Willed them to him. There was an understanding between them. He'd asked me to care for them a few times, so my ex and I went to Mr P's place and he walked us through their routine."

"Why?"

"His pets had all died. He felt it was only a matter of time when he would too. Uncle wanted someone to care for Fish and we didn't mind." The first time he had invited me into his office, Nigel Poonawala only had Fish in their tank next to his massive rosewood table and plenty of pictures of his dead, but much loved, pets. I could talk about Uncle Nigel now. Fish had never been a secret.

But I felt ill, the old memories squeezing my heart unbearably. The first time we met, Uncle Nigel and I had bonded instantly. Maybe it was that way when you liked animals. It had taken a few visits for Fish to be comfortable with me. By then I was married. Considering how he never took care of Fish while they were in our care, I didn't understand my ex's fascination for them or his need to covet them. Certainly Fish never warmed up to him, or talked to him. For a strange reason Uncle Nigel had never seen through my ex. Neither had I, until it was too late.

"You still don't say his name," Arief said.

"Whose?" 

"Your husband's."

"We're divorced. I'm entitled not to sully my being by saying his name."

"That seems harsh."

"Yet it is true. And he lives and continues to blight humanity with his existence."

"At this rate, you'll never get a boyfriend."

I laughed. It was at once incongruous and the truth. Eventually every boyfriend had seemed a reflection of my ex. Somewhere it was written into my genes that I needed to be treated badly and bent out of shape. "I'm definitely not looking." That was a lie. I was always hopeful, but Arief didn't need to know.

"Why do you talk to the fish so much? Surely they're unlikely to understand."

I shrugged. I was in another world when I was with them. Uncle Nigel and my parents had been too. No one was going to understand my feelings for them or how they stimulated me.

I saw Genie turn and his eyes caught mine. His eyes took in Arief and our intertwined arms and he turned away again. 

No one would understand, except Genie.

Fishy Chronicles 30: Drama in Lonavala

After a couple of hours directly under a sunny sun, I got up from my bench in the garden of Chez Perreira. I had to. Many of its staff had given me meaningful looks. Besides, the numbers of small children bouncing hard plastic balls off me had increased.

I threw the last ball that hit me into a tree. Luckily it lodged in the tree's branches and I could hear the ball's little evil owner begin to wail. I stepped out jauntily into the small kaccha lane, feeling slightly happier and, more than ever, assured that my soul was furiously winging its way to hell.

I could hear a collective tut-tut from my parents in heaven. Sometimes I wished they had been like other parents - whose children were always in the right, even if they were wrong. 

"I would have hated you," Aunty Glory once told me. "I can tolerate you because your parents kicked you into shape."

I had sat glumly in the Gonsalves flat, recounting some miserable event and hoping Aunty Glory would commiserate. She hadn't. She had given me a stiff lecture about the futility of feeling sorry for oneself, ordered me to straighten myself out and hurl myself unforgivingly at the world. Whatever that meant. I had been too browbeaten to ask for a clarification and I put it all down to quintessential, I-don't-care-about-your-feelings Gloryspeak.

The narrator, on holiday with Cousin Roma and her extended family, has had a nightmarish start to her holiday. She previously got into a fight with a guest of the family, Arief, disappeared without apologising and has now been found and been brought back, unwillingly, to the hotel. 

More drama ensues, with the narrator neck deep in shit. How will the day end?

I shook myself. I was in lovely Lonavala, which was still in the throes of a tepid winter. This cannot be equated with any other winter in any other place. I wished I had run out with a sweater, so I rubbed my arms, stamped my feet a few times and started walking to the town centre. I felt fear when I heard footsteps, felt a shadow fall on me and strong cold fingers on my shoulder and part of my neck. I whirled around, terror clutching my heart. Damn! I didn't think retribution would come so soon!

"Don't you get tired of running away!" Ashok said angrily, pink spots of colour showing in his fair cheeks. I tried to wriggle out of his grip. "And why can't you pick up your damned phone?!"

"I spoke to Roma!"

"I heard!"

"So?"

A swear word escaped him and my back stiffened. "So you've had all of us worried and running up and down these lanes. And your fish are a mess. They've been jumping out of the tank and now Genie's shut the tank's top with a brick. They're extremely agitated. I've never seen fish behave that way!"

"Bullshit... Nobby would have told them..." I couldn't believe Nobby hadn't immediately relayed his conversation with me. If he hadn't, the lack of information would be driving Fish insane and they usually threw themselves against the walls when they were disturbed. That was one thing that stressed Genie. He was never able to predict their behaviour or get them to behave. Heck, they never listened to me! And it explained why Genie still hadn't come by looking for me.

"Who's Nobby?" Ashok looked at me, his face screwed up, lower lip jutting like a boxer - the dog, not the fellow with the gloves.

"Er, er... a friend." I tried pulling my arm from Ashok's grip, but it tightened.

"Boyfriend?"

"Hahaha. In a manner. He's got a healthy regard for me." How else could I describe a mosquito who was a mad hatter and loved rum and me in equal measure.

I pushed against Ashok, but he wouldn't relent. He pulled me along and I dragged my feet. The pain in my flesh was intense. I finally yowled and tried to prise away his fingers one by one. "If this is how you manhandled Eva, no wonder she's trying to run away from you!" I shouted.

A look of shock appeared on Ashok's face. He let me go immediately and I ran to Pretty Villa! I turned to look and saw Ashok standing where I left him. I stopped in my tracks. Me and my stupid mouth. I looked in the lobby and then I walked back slowly.

"Eva told you I hit her?" Ashok said, distressed.

"No, of course not!"

"But you said..."

"I didn't mean it. You were cutting off my blood circulation." I pushed back my sleeve to show him my bruises and gaped at my slightly pink flesh. There was no sign of trauma. "Er... my arm was hurting and you wouldn't let go," I said lamely. Ashok's mouth grew tight, his eyes narrowed and nostrils flared.

Shit. How did I land in it so often. I went up to him and grabbed his hand and urged him to run with me to the hotel. It was like trying to move a mountain. I tugged and pulled. Finally, I said, "I'm sorry, Ashok. I shouldn't have said that."

"Damn right, you shouldn't have! I treated her like a princess. And if anyone should come to her senses, it should be Eva!" Ashok snarled.

I stepped back to avoid the spit that escaped his lips. I moved towards him again. "I agree!" I grabbed his arm again in a futile effort to budge him.

"Bullshit! You're just playing me. You cousins are all the same."

"What do you mean?" 

"Bloody cock teases. Drama queens. And you women can't stay married!"

My blood ran cold. "Are you referring to me?" I was the only divorcée I knew among my first cousins, though cracks were showing in other marriages.

Ashok strode towards the hotel. I felt rage well up in me, I ran in front of him and tried to shove him backwards as hard as I could. "Oh no you don't, you smug creature. You don't just toss a bomb in the air and then run!"

Ashok looked flustered and stepped around me, he walked fast to the hotel lobby and I ran after him. I grabbed his shirt, hanging onto his collar and his shirt tore open at the buttons and I lost balance and fell. The rest of the group seemed plastered to their seats in the open lobby area, spellbound by the drama unfolding in front of them. I could see people get up and run toward us, but I had jumped on Ashok and was holding onto the squirming man as tight as I could.

"What are you doing?!" I heard Eva scream. I felt hands tear me away and Genie in my face, shocked. I felt drained. I could hear the elders shouting and see them shuffle as quickly as they could in our direction. And then I caught sight of Fish. I gave Ashok a mighty push and ran to them.

Arief blocked my path. His face was an angry red and he was opening his mouth to say something - mostly to shout. I slowed in front of him and put my hand on his mouth. "I'm sorry, Arief. Things got out of hand and I'm a great big idiot. I'm very sorry for hitting you with the table tennis ball and being rude. I hope you'll forgive me." I pushed past him, feeling my tears fall briskly.

I tossed the brick away and opened the tank. Fish were in different corners. I stroked their fins and whispered. I felt worse now because they looked battered, disturbed and dishevelled. I looked around and saw the mixed reactions of everyone. 

"I'll be right back, Fish." I closed the tank's lid and put the brick back on it. I ran to my room and grabbed my purse. I stared at the floor. Someone had kicked my nicely folded clothes to a corner. The act of violence had been unnecessary, but telling. I hesitated but then began to shove my things into my haversack.

"Stop it!" Roma was in the room holding my hands still with effort. "You're not going away!"

"Nope. Don't want to be treated like shit anymore. If someone feels like kicking my clothes about, I don't want to share a room with them."

"Eva didn't mean it!"

"You really mean Nidhi."

"If you leave, it'll be a sign of weakness - that you're running away. Daddy will have something truly awful to say."

"It's okay, Sweetie. Let anyone say whatever they want. I just want a little peace. I'm going to walk away and salvage some good sense, hang onto any equilibrium I can find."

Roma grabbed me, hugging me. "What happened to you?!"

I pushed her off. I wanted to tear Nidhi's clothes and stuff her cosmetics in the WC. But I had a sudden vision of brightly painted red lips flapping through a snore. For sure Karma is biding its time for you, Nidhi.

I galloped down the stairs and then slowed. I saw the group chattering to themselves, Arief was talking to Ashok and Ashok's arm was around Eva's shoulders and hers around his waist. He had changed into a t-shirt.

Genie's eyes were on me, taking in my bag and my wet face. He closed the tank lid, unlocked the wheel lock and started pushing the tank to the hotel's exit.

"Where are you taking the fish?" Uncle demanded.

I could feel Genie's reassuring smile even though his back was to me. "For a walk, Uncle."

"And where do you think you're going?" Uncle trained his eyes on me, coldly.

"For a walk, with Genie," I tried to say as calmly as I could.

"With your luggage?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you just go home! Run away. Not face up to anything!"

There was pin drop silence.

I struggled with every emotion in my being - but mostly impotent rage. Finally, not wanting to stay silent and mostly not wanting my silence to invite more disrespect from this pus-filled crowd, I stood in front of Uncle and said evenly and so that everyone could hear, "Sometimes, Uncle, it's okay to divorce someone who'll never be good to you. Sometimes it's okay for you to take your bag and run away from someone who can't be kind to you. Sometimes, it's okay to piss off someone, set a foot wrong and stand on your head and be silly. I'm going to make those mistakes, over and over and over and over. Whatever it is, I'll take it like a man. I'll see you at dinner. Maybe you'll want to wager something for my appearance."

Uncle continued to give me a filthy look. Roma's in laws looked happy. I charged towards her sisters in law and they, and their husbands, jumped back in fright, wiping off their smug smiles. Georgy looked mad. I instantly felt sorry for Roma.

I walked to the huge glass doors and felt a soft ball bounce against my back. I whirled around, feeling totally frustrated and ready to do violence. Roma's son Aarav, the precocious pre-teen who hated body contact, picked up his ball, slipped his hand in mine and said, "Let's go, Aunty. I want to see your new hotel." From the corner of my eye I saw his baby brother toss his table tennis bat into a potted plant and run toward us.

"Wait for me, Baby," my cousin Roma said, walking quickly. It unleashed angry cries from the pus pots. Georgy looked more pissed, but Roma was oblivious. She grabbed my bag, swung it on her shoulder and the crook of her arm squeezed my neck.

We moved forward and I heard another set of footsteps, albeit slower and heavier. Arief's eyes met mine. He pulled my bag off Roma's shoulder. Outside I felt the sunshine on my head and shoulders and it was less cold now, with a pleasant fragrance of cut grass in the air. I caught sight of Genie waiting for me at the gate, the lid of the tank open and my darlings lined near the top of the tank, watching. The children ran to the tank and Fish slid back in and out of reach.

Genie reached out and hugged me tightly. He murmured, "Are you okay?"

I nodded. When he still looked disbelieving I whispered, "Y-yes. I'd like to break a lot of arms and legs, but that thought is safely locked away in my subconscious." 

He loosened his hold. "Let's look to have fun these two days, okay?" 

I nodded. It had been a lousy day and a half, but there was still another day left to our holiday. Who knew what would be on the menu, but I was game for anything.

Fishy Chronicles 28: Noises In The Dark

I tapped the door several times, harder each time.

"Maybe they've gone somewhere," Ashok said. My new found table tennis buddies - Georgy, his cousin Ashok, Roma and her kids, and Arief and Genie were massed behind me in the hotel's corridor. I'd spent most of the evening and night playing table tennis and cards with them and now we were all reluctantly going to bed. I looked at my watch. It was past 1am. 

Roma slapped her hand against the doorbell and held it down for several seconds. Georgy pulled her hand off the bell and glared at his wife. My darling cousin was in an excellent mood, her beautiful black hair sticking up in places, some wisps stuck to her pink, sweaty face. She beamed at Georgy. 

I heard the bolts of the door being opened with violence. A wild-eyed Nidhi glared at me. She opened her mouth to say something - rude, I assumed - when she stopped and became wary. Her eyes were fixed on the person behind me. When I turned, I could see Genie looking coolly at Nidhi. 

She turned and marched back into the room. I waved at the others and walked in. My bag, previously on one of the two single beds, was now on the ground. There was a lone made-up mattress on the floor in a corner of the room. My cousin Eva was fast asleep and her sister-in-law Nidhi was giving me a smug look. She switched off the light, leaving me in the dark and disoriented. Bitch.

I switched on my mobile phone torch and looked at Fish. Gregory was reading a book, Penaaz was curled on the couch in their tank, hugging a cushion and watching a movie on Netflix, and Dimitri, Portas and Pervez were waiting for me.

"Well?" Portas asked.

"What did you do after dinner? Nidhi cribbed about you to Eva and finally Eva disappeared into the bathroom for a very long bath. Why did you stay away for so long?" Pervez said, unusually chatty.

I gestured at Nidhi and Eva with my phone torch. Nidhi was trying to glare at me in the semi dark. I switched on a small lamp.

"Switch off the light, I can't sleep!" Nidhi hissed.

I flashed my torchlight into her eyes. "What?" I asked innocently. Why did she bother me so much. Still I kept the light flashing into her eyes and then when she opened her mouth to scream, I switched it off. "Oops, Nidhi. Didn't mean to do that. Let me keep this lamp switched on for a bit, else it would have to be the torch. That would be too bright for you."

"Hmph!" the malignant lump in the middle of the single bed said. She had covered herself up tightly with her sheet and blocked me out. Good riddance. I turned to Fish.

"I played table tennis and cards with the cool ones. Luckily all the oldies and Roma's in laws went to bed early."

"Arief, Ashok's friend?"

"When he's not knocking the glass walls of a fish tank Arief can be surprisingly charming. Georgy was properly concerned he had a competitor."

Fish snickered and then laughed. "Poor Georgy."

Poor Georgy, indeed. He'd never notice even if a handsome prince on a white stallion plucked Roma off the ground and carried her off. He even needed Roma to serve him food. Though Roma chafed, she did as she was bid. She was married to the goat and fond of him. Who knew why.

"I'm never going to marry anyone like him," Eva told one of our cousins in shock when she met Georgy for the first time. But strangely it was Georgy who was pestering Ashok and Eva to give their marriage a second chance.

"What plans for tomorrow?" Portas asked.

"We're going to have a good breakfast and head out for a long walk."

"Okay."

"I meant the young and limber hoomans."

"We know. We're going off with Genie to the market," Portas showed me his middle fin and he and Pervez turned their backs on me.

"I'm with you, Hon," Dimitri smiled. He pulled himself half out of the tank. I kissed his head and he slipped back into the water.

"Y-Y-You're disgusting! Kissing dirty fish. I've seen it all now!" Nidhi spluttered from her bed.

"I know. I'm so glad. Now go to sleep, or I won't wake you for breakfast." Before she could say anything I switched off the light and the room went dark.

I heard Nidhi toss angrily in her bed. Good. Her rage would keep her awake some.

Me, I was going to dream of my handsome table tennis partners. Tomorrow promised to be fun - even with the threat of Nidhi's company.

                                   ******

This is a fictional series about the 30-something narrator, Fish - her former pets, and Genie - her former manservant and now friend.  

They are following her on a family holiday with her uncomfortable relatives and her cousin Roma's in laws. She is forced to share a room with her cousin Eva and Eva's sister-in-law Nidhi. The narrator tries to stay out of their line of vision for as long as possible, but some things are not meant to be.

                                    ******

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" 

I could feel water spatter on me but it was unsuccessful in rousing the two snorers - Eva and Nidhi. I had wondered if snoring was one of the troubles besetting Eva's and Ashok's union. Nah. People could live through snoring - they found ways. Besides, how did one convince a judge that a spouse's snoring was reasonable grounds to end a marriage.

Water hit me again. "Stop it, you! It's not me snoring. It's those two in the beds. Can't you hear the racket from there!" I waved my arms at where the snoring was coming from in the almost dark - a sliver of moonlight mixed with tubelight crept through the gap the curtains had missed, making for some visibility.

Penaaz was leaning out of the tank in agitation, "Stuff something in their mouths!"

"It might kill them."

"Good riddance!" Gregory shouted, tossing water with his fins in the direction of the snores.

We watched fearfully as Eva turned on to her side, but continued to sleep.

"Go and goose them!" Gregory ordered me.

I shook my head, belatedly realising they couldn't see me in the dark. When I had stayed silent for three seconds too long Gregory said, "I insist you poke them. Research says if you do, they'll stop and it's better to get them to stop snoring as it is detrimental to their health."

"You mean not snoring is detrimental to their health?" I understood what Gregory was saying, but I had been unable to sleep. And the awful noises in the dark made me cranky.

"Hey!"

"Hey, yourself! I'm not going to go and poke either of them! Get used to that awful keening for the next two nights."

"Or we can go down the road and rent another room... with Genie."

"That's a thought, Gregory."

"An excellent idea," Dimitri said.

"Perfect," Portas said, happily.

I had a sudden thought, "Does Genie snore?"

I could see Fish bobbing in the tank, the dim light from outside giving them an eerie, unreal look. They stayed silent, loyal.

"Technically, Genie and I have never shared a room. Just a home. People might talk if we go together to the hotel next door," I said into the silence.

"Yet you didn't think of that when we landed up here," Gregory said.

"Actually, I did. But I figured there wasn't much that could happen with five chaperones staring at us non-stop. Ten saucer-like staring eyes could scare even hardened criminals."

"You don't think he's a criminal..." Dimitri said.

"Not anymore. He..."

"CAN YOU STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF?!"  Nidhi screamed.

"Only if you stop snoring to yourself," I countered. I patted myself for my superb comeback.

"Shhh, Nidhi. You gave me a fright!" Princess Eva said, turning on the lamp next to her. She was sitting up - a pretty picture in a flimsy baby pink nightdress that was absolutely lost on us. 

"Tell your cousin to stop talking and go to sleep," Nidhi shouted.

"But, she's fast asleep... and snoring!"

"She was making a racket just now, talking to her damn fish!"

"You've always had your claws in her. Go to sleep, Nidhi."

"But..."

"Shhh!"

I stifled a giggle under the sheet I had wrapped tightly around my body. I could hear Fish laugh softly. I was surprised Eva put down her sister-in-law, especially on my behalf. 

I had two more days. I was going to be a raath ka keeda*. It was unlikely I was going to sleep much in a strange bed, in any case.

                                   ******
* Night insect