Dear Diary,
What a mess the last three days have been.
I fought with Ashok, Arief and Nidhi a number of times. We never seemed to get off on the right foot.
Eva patched up with Ashok, making all the uncles and aunties happy. Ashok and Arief seem like brothers from different mothers. Nidhi and Arief seem to be an item, but Roma and I are not sure. Arief is always around to give Nidhi a hand with steps and things. I don't understand why she didn't use the pristine white running shoes she brought with her - she has pock-marked Pretty Villa Hotel's lovely garden with her stilettos. A couple of days ago her stilettos wedged themselves deep into a wet portion of the garden and it was funny watching her kneel to pull out both heels. For some reason Arief was looking elsewhere then and Uncle looked exasperated. Some news article soon caught his attention. Truth be told, just watching us must have been like a high-speed police chase drama. The oldies watched us all the time.
While pfaffing about at tea today, I impulsively invited Ashok and Eva for appams and stew. Arief cleared his throat and I felt cornered. So I asked him home too. In a minute, Aditya stood in front of me and Roma told me that she and the boys were turning up as well.
I felt someone stare at me. I tried to ignore Nidhi until Genie murmured into my ear that I was being rude. If anything, he said, I could watch a new romance ferment (his words) over appams. I was surprised at the speed of Nidhi's assent.
On the drive to Mumbai from Lonavala, I did the sums - the number of cups of rice and coconut milk I'd need for the appams. Would my old/young yeast cooperate? I wrote the math on the back of a toll challan. Arief and Ashok ate like sparrows - they worked out and watched their weight, Eva said. Nidhi needed to balance on chopsticks, making her Starving Sparrow No. 3. If Georgy followed Roma, more worried about Genie's influence on her, he'd make Sparrow No. 4. The boys would eat like one hungry full-grown man. I made no allowances for Eva. It was doubtful she ate - being on a diet perpetually.
With that done, I started thinking of the tattered recipe book I was trying to mend - my mother's and her mother's.
"Why don't you put out some of those recipes in a book," Genie loudly interrupted my thoughts. The car's windows were down and we were enjoying the breeze through our hair.
"Done to death," I said in a guttural voice, trying to imitate Genie's deep voice.
He didn't notice. "Plus anecdotes."
"I don't know any."
"Sure you do. Remember that recipe your granny taught you - you said you had to soak the ingredients several weeks for the liquor to give all the nuts a kick?"
My words exactly. "I think you're referring to the Christmas rum cake. My great grandmother taught me that family recipe when I was eight and keen to bake. I even wrote it down with her and my mother's help." And that fragile, lined piece of paper was in my mother's recipe book, tattered but full of Great Granny-Mummy love.
"And she told you not to share it with anyone."
"Yes." I thought of my poor great grandmother. Her daughter-in-law, my grandmother, had hated her and I once heard my granny tell someone that she hoped my great gran would die fast. Luckily, my great gran lived another 15 years and died just short of 100 years.
My unhappy gran moved to the US to take care of my uncle's family, learnt to wear pants and play bingo. She returned to India eventually, to another son and daughter-in-law, and steadfastly remained unhappy.
I took another challan and jotted cooking instructions to myself. I started when Genie shouted over the noisy breeze, "What do you think?"
"Of what?"
"The book idea."
"It's a good idea. I have to fix Mama's recipe book. Something might come to me."
Who knows, something might come of it. On that note, and conversations reproduced almost verbatim, I shall end my journal writing for tonight.
******
This is a fictional series about Fish who return to their former owner - the narrator. They are joined by her former manservant, and now friend, Genie.
They return from a tense holiday with the narrator's relatives. Fish lay some rules and issue the narrator an ultimatum.
******
At home I fixed a khichdi for Genie and I. Nobby went off to suck blood in Peaceful Society and Fish settled down to their garlic-liver-shrimp meal.
After dinner, Genie stretched out on the divan to look out of the window at the stars in the sky. I soon dozed off on the sofa.
The voices woke me. Genie was breathing evenly and seemed to be asleep. There seemed to be an argument, or maybe loud conversation, going on in the tank.
"... Arief... Nidhi..."
"Roma... cigarettes... Georgy..."
"... ******* bad influence..."
I struggled to hear without moving. Clearly Fish thought I was sleeping.
"She needs to steer clear of that lot. Especially Nidhi! And she's gone and shot off her mouth and invited Nidhi home!" Penaaz almost shouted. I tried to stay calm and concentrate on breathing slow.
"Nidhi will come here and look down her nose at everything. We've got to tell Genie to tell her to hide the heirlooms - she'd never listen if we said so!" Pervez said of me.
"The heirlooms are classy. Elevate the home. They should stay where they are," Gregory said. The heirlooms they were referring to were a couple of very large brass uralis (wide-mouthed shallow vessels) that were more than a 150 years old. One was my great grandmother's and the other my grandmother's, both gifts to my mother. These days Genie filled them with flowers or potpourri.
Dimitri's voice distracted me. "Maybe things may thaw between them," he said of Nidhi and me.
"Hah!" Gregory snorted, "That will be the day. And I don't know what Arief is playing at! One moment he's playing hopscotch with Sleeping Beauty here and in the next he's canoodling with Nidhi!"
I laughed before I could stop myself.
"Really!" Penaaz said annoyed. "If you're awake you might as well join us. We're talking about you!"
"You've got to stop mixing with people bad for you," Portas said.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You had a rotten time in Lonavala, yet you've invited that bilious lot home for more punishment."
"Don't you think you're being harsh? I mean we became friendly toward the end. And Ashok is married to my cousin and he's good fun."
"There was drama and you were unnecessarily wrung out by it all!" Penaaz said angrily.
That was true. I had been out of my element with a group that thought they were superior. And I had rubbed them all the wrong way and not been apologetic - or so Eva tried to tell me. Plus, at tea, loosened by the snacks and banter, Ashok had teased me about how we were related and that he still hadn't eaten a meal I had prepared.
"It's not a bad thing - inviting my cousins over for a meal. Long overdue, I think. Besides, I like Ashok."
"Yes, yes, but think of the consequences. They'll make mincemeat out of you. By the way, you should make a beef stew," Penaaz said.
"What are you expecting to happen?" I asked.
"Trauma... for all of us," she said with unnecessary theatrics.
I laughed and then stopped. Fish were serious. They shared a point. I liked Ashok and Arief. I thought it a cosmic joke that Arief would turn up in Lonavala as Eva's boyfriend and walk smack bang into his friend and Eva's then-estranged husband Ashok. And look how things turned out - Arief and Ashok rekindled their friendship and Arief couldn't back away from Eva fast enough.
"And Nidhi?" Penaaz prodded, when I had stayed silent too long.
"I don't know what her problem is. I'm surprised she wants to come."
"If she's rude to you again, she's out of our lives forever!" Gregory said, trying to loosen his bow tie and adjust his glasses at the same time. Now his tie was askew and his glasses were on the tank's floor.
"Or at least lose her at sea," Portas said.
"Just drown her," Penaaz said forcefully.
"I'll try," I said, "to set things right." I turned to look at the divan. Genie was now on his side, his head propped up on his elbow, listening to our conversation. "What do you think, Genie?"
He got up and joined me on the sofa, stretching his legs out. "This should be her last chance." He held my hand and absently tapped my knuckles with his forefinger, making a point. "You shouldn't let people disrespect you constantly. It means they don't care... and nothing good comes of putting up with it."
I nodded. I never seemed to learn. Now I had to gather my tender heart and guard it with my life. Nidhi had a choice - she was going to stay in, or out forever.
"You had a lucky escape," Arief grinned, while passing me a quarter plate. We were seated next to each other on a garden bench in Pretty Villa Hotel, Lonavala. Several plates of piping hot bhajias were making an appearance.
"From what?" I asked. I had made amends with Uncle and was now waiting to stuff myself. I ignored most of the family's cross looks. But I gave evil Nidhi my best and broadest smile every time I saw her gaze rest on me - twice. After that she squeezed between her cousin Georgy and her brother Ashok and ignored me. I was going to celebrate tonight. Maybe with a cigarette. I thought of the packet of Gudang Garam in my underwear pouch.
Arief poked me with his elbow and I started. "Why can't you be friends with her?"
"With whom?"
"Nidhi."
"Who's that?" I mumbled with a mouth full of kanda bhajias. The batata bhajias glistened with the oil they had just been fried in and they were fast disappearing.
"How long have you been fighting?" Arief persisted.
"Who am I fighting with?" I ventured after a long pause.
There was silence. I didn't want to look. I had a chance with a really cute guy and all he was doing was talk about another woman. When I finished chewing, slowly, and silence still prevailed on the left flank, I turned my head to look. Arief was sitting back on the bench, his lips a thin straight line, staring at me. But it was not a cold look. He seemed to be thinking.
"Don't think, Sweetie," I told him in my head. "It doesn't seem a healthy pursuit for you."
I heard laughter from the tank. I turned to see what had set Fish off. They were rolling on the floor of the tank. And Genie was motionless, his body rigid, staring deeply into a bowl of green chutney. Then his moustache quivered slightly. Shit! I'd said that aloud! I turned around to look at Arief. His expression grew stiff, and his eyes bored mine.
"Er. Were you asking about N-Nidhi? She's been cold to me. No idea why. We've moved around in the same circles, were in the same school, have family in common, but she doesn't want to have anything to do with me." I warbled desperately, trying to undo the damage. From across the long table between us, Ashok cocked an eyebrow.
"You've got to give up rubbing people the wrong way," Ashok told me. A small splash of water hit Eva next to him. Though I was mortified at the put down, which I deserved, I tried hard to control my face. Ashok looked up and around and immediately grabbed a paper napkin to wipe his wife's neck. From the corner of my eye I could see Roma and her kids grin.
Suddenly Arief stood up. He walked around the length of the table and stood near Nidhi. People moved to accommodate him on the bench. Her back instantly straightened, a smile radiated from her face and just as quickly my spirits plummeted. Arief refused to look my way and every now and then Nidhi smirked at me.
Suddenly the bhajias felt tasteless. I felt Nobby buzz around me. He tsk-tsked for some time. "Really! Can't you just hang onto a good thing when you see one?!"
I looked at Arief's patrician face, the long nose and long eyelashes. I wanted to get up and run. But we'd already established there were no hotel rooms available in Lonavala, I didn't want to upset my uncle again and my car was not safe to spend the night in. Plus, I was fed up with running and being called a quitter.
I saw a white teacup slide toward me. Genie moved closer and poured out the hot tea into the saucer and gave me the cup. I let Nobby have the first sip.
I could see the relatives stare. I ignored them. But in a minute I choked on my tea. I first sprayed it on the lot in front of me and then coughed hard. Snot and tears streamed from my orifices. Opposite me, Ashok, Eva, Nidhi, Arief and some of the Kurians began to babble and reach for tissues. Someone pounded my back. My nephew Aditya! And Genie pushed a tissue into my face.
"What's the matter with you?" Genie said, mopping the table and trying to stop the spilled tea from falling onto our clothes.
I could only point. Eva looked at where I was pointing and shrieked. She scrambled off the bench and tried to embrace a large shrub. Ashok turned to look at what had frightened her. He moved back in fright and got up quickly. I don't know where it came from, but I laughed.
"Will you stop that!" Genie hissed.
I shook my head and continued to choke, cry and laugh. Roma had often told me that the Kurians and their extended family were namby pambies. One by one, the family hurriedly got up and moved backwards. The massive cockroach stretched and stared at the nearest plate of bhajias on the long garden table. Roma and I stood near it and watched. It strolled forward to the plate of bhajias and reared up to put its front legs on the side of the plate.
Aditya's little hand slowly pulled the plate away a few centimetres. In the background we heard cries, "Kill it! What are you waiting for!" Uncle, a great believer in pest control services, had already disappeared and Aunty and Georgy were ordering Roma to kill the cockroach. Someone flung a newspaper in our direction. The cockroach listened to the commotion and darted toward the plate. Aarav grabbed the plate from the opposite side of the table and pulled it clear.
Aditya looked up at Roma and said, "Mumma, shall I take it and put it some place safe?"
Roma's mother in law immediately screamed, "No! It's dirty! Cheeeee!"
"Don't touch it, Adi!" Georgy shouted, trying to look manly behind his mother. Genie leaned over the table to get a better look at the cockroach.
"Use the newspaper to kill the damn thing!" Ashok shouted.
"How?" Roma asked, a grin on her face. Ashok rushed toward us, grabbed the Hindustan Times from the ground, rolled it into a baton and started pounding the table, with his face turned away and his body about a foot away. It was a wonder he could even reach the table. But there he was, thwacking the life out of the already lifeless bhajias.
Roma, Genie and I held our stomachs and the table and laughed our guts out. We could hear the bewildered children. "Stop, Ashok Uncle, you're scaring the cockroach," Aditya said, concern in his voice. Adi usually picked them up and threw them out of the window.
His big brother Aarav plucked the newspaper from Ashok's hand looked at the oil stains on the newspaper. "Appacha* will be angry at you for hitting food. We'll kill the cockroach if you're so scared of it!"
"I-I'm not scared!" Ashok denied and stumbled backward. There was a long wail from the other side of the table. It sounded like a siren. It was Aditya upset about an impending cockroach killing. Roma slumped on the table, shaking and guffawing, while her husband and in laws screamed at her, imploring her to do something and then scolding her for her undignified conduct. Finally, Aditya plucked the large cockroach off the table and ran off. He disappeared behind some of the bushes in the garden and reappeared in a couple of minutes without the insect.
When I turned around, a number of very angry people glared at us. I saw Nidhi and Arief leave the garden. Ashok glared at me and Roma, while we grinned back at him.
"Who knew you were scared of cockroaches, Ashok," I said.
"I find them disgusting," he blustered. A bark of laughter escaped Roma and her children looked at her suspiciously.
Eva thrust herself into my face, "You let us suffer. You know I'm terrified of them!"
Georgy pushed himself between us, furious at Roma. "You've been letting my children play with dirty insects!"
That got my goat. "On the contrary, Georgy. We've established your boys have more backbone than most of the men in our family. And... they are kind." Despite the dubious genes from their father, my darling boys Aarav and Aditya were going to be fine.
"Want to go for a swim?" I asked them. The water was bound to be cold, but what the heck. We'd jump in and then figure things out. They ran for their trunks and I for my swimsuit. I stood at the top of the stairs and wiggled my fingers at Roma to follow me. Georgy was scolding her, but her eyes were on me. She grinned and walked past the angry relatives, running up two steps at a time.
******
This is a fictional series about a group of Fish, their former owner and her former manservant Genie. Fish and Genie have returned from their travels to live with the narrator for a few months and in this episode they are all on vacation with her relatives.
Tempers fray and unexpected guests cause complications.
******
We were floating in the swimming pool, enjoying the sun on our fronts and the cold water against our backs. There had been several angry summons from various family members, but none had tried to venture into the pool to pull us out. None knew how to swim. And Roma, the boys and I hadn't budged in a long time. In between, Genie joined us and then left.
"You know..."
"What?" Roma said.
"I think I'll be banned for life from any of your family outings," I told Roma.
Roma laughed. "Probably. But they can't do a thing even if you do turn up. They can't be rude to you, that will annoy Daddy... and Genie... and Fish." She laughed once more. "I think you should come again. It will shake things up. And," she suddenly waded toward me, "let's get Arief, Genie and Nidhi too. My holiday has never been so much fun!"
I stayed silent. I had no wish to repeat this horrible experience. We held hands and floated. A shadow fell on us. I opened an eye, our cousin Eva was looking at us uncertainly. "May I join you?"
"Hurry!" I said. She disappeared to get her suit. "Don't look now, Roma," I murmured, "Darth Vader Nidhi is watching us."
"I know," Roma said her eyes closed. "She can't get enough of you." She sighed and straightened. She swam to the side of the pool where Nidhi, Arief, Ashok and Georgy were seated. Georgy still looked angry.
"Want to join us in the pool?" Roma smiled.
Arief took off his clothes and slipped in. "I don't know how to swim," Georgy bleated, feeling more left out now that Arief was in the pool.
I heard a mild swear word from under Roma's breath. "Jump in, Babe, I'll teach you. Just go wear your trunks."
"Yes, Daddy," the boys said enthusiastically.
"I don't have trunks," Georgy said, mutinously. His kids waded off and began to toss a ball.
Roma swam back to me. "Want to do laps? What say we come back at night. We can swim in the dark and maybe smoke."
"Georgy?"
"He'll be dead to the world. Come on, 10 laps." And she was off thrashing the water like the former state champion swimmer she was.
******
* Grandfather
I watched Roma's children run ahead in the small tree-lined lane in Lonavala. Roma was some way ahead, walking and talking with Genie, who was wheeling along the fish tank.
Beside me walked Arief, the unsuspecting friend of my, until this morning, estranged married cousins Eva and Ashok. I had messed Arief about in the morning with a well-aimed table tennis ball, run out of the hotel, been dragged back to Pretty Villa Hotel by Roma's cousin-in-law Ashok and had a massive war of words with him. Plus, I may have ticked off a few people, who subsequently played football with my things in my hotel room. I blame Ashok's sister Nidhi, with whom I had been sharing the room, though now I think it could have been anybody.
The narrator does her best to burn her bridges with the family on their trip to Lonavala... and almost succeeds.
Only Arief, a family guest and unwitting victim of family tensions, insists on setting right their status quo. One gesture sends their equation into an immediate skid.
"You owe me an apology," Arief said.
I stopped in my tracks. In my mind I had apologised profusely - not preserving an iota of my dignity. Then I had left Pretty Villa Hotel with my baggage and posse and my cousin Roma, her kids and Arief had tagged along. "Is that why you followed me out?"
"Not exactly."
"Then what exactly."
"I think we haven't made up properly."
"Really? I apologised from the inner recesses of my recesses and it felt like I grovelled and dug a hole and buried myself. The only thing I didn't do was prostrate in front of you... it didn't occur to me!"
Arief's head tipped back and he laughed. He didn't sound like a man still nursing a grudge against a violent, loony, rival table tennis player. "Right. I meant kissing and making up."
"Right. That's all that's left, kissing," I said sarcastically. "We've already made up, and I have witnesses... though many are likely to turn hostile if put to the test..." I looked up, feeling grumpy that my day was slowly losing its fine wintry Lonavala charm. The sun went dark and I felt a pair of warm, damp lips on my mouth. I felt deep shock radiate through me and my cheeks, forehead and neck ignited. I looked frantically at Roma and Genie. They were still walking and talking.
I spluttered. "What the fig!" Arief's head bent threateningly again and I leapt back in fright. But I felt... I pulled my sweater away from my neck, feeling unbearably hot and sped to the side of the road. Idiot, go back, I heard a voice telling me. The voice seemed to be mine. Arief was grinning at me broadly, amused. He held out his arm and tilted his head toward the road ahead and nodded. "All good now. Come along."
I stayed on my side of the road and walked shakily, trying to hug the dew-damp walls lining the narrow road.
I was breathing too fast and tried to slow it. What had just happened. Shit! Fish were now at the back of the tank, watching. Nothing escaped them. BUT WHAT THE EFFF!
"Come on! You're acting ridiculous trying to walk through the walls. The other two will turn around any moment and you'll have to explain why," Arief laughed.
That got me to the middle of the lane. Arief held out his arm again. I looked away. He came closer and put his arm around my neck in a swift movement. I struggled to break free, feeling panic. "Don't shout. We'll have to explain what happened and I'm not inclined to lie," Arief said, still smiling.
"What are you playing at?! This morning it was Eva and now you're making a move on me?!"
"Tut, tut. I was never with Eva. At least I was interested in her until I landed here yesterday and discovered she's married to Ashok, who, by the way, is an old friend."
"If he's an old friend how come you didn't know he's married to Eva!"
"I agree. We're work friends. A drink here, and occasional guys night out. We lost touch some years ago, but I was uncomfortable with us being here in the middle of a family holiday and Ashok watching."
"So why didn't you just leave?"
"Felt awkward. And it felt like running away."
"So what's this kiss about?"
Arief grinned and took off his arm from around my neck. He put my arm through his and clamped it to his side.
"Let go, Arief."
"Why?"
I didn't answer. Fish were squashed against the back of the tank, trying to get their best views.
"You think Genie will get pissed off?" Arief's breath shifted some of the strands of hair off my forehead. His face was too close to mine.
"He won't like you manhandling me, for sure," I mumbled, unnerved by Arief looming in my face.
"Reallllyyy," Arief chuckled. "He doesn't seem possessive. Though for some reason everyone seems to think you guys are a pair."
"Yes. A great big bunch of idiots they are. I'm surprised you're not thinking that way," I looked up nervously. But Arief was looking at Genie, a very strange thoughtful look on his face. I tried freeing my arm, but it was still in a solid grip.
"And Genie seems as devoted to your fish as you are. Strange," he said.
"Er, why is it strange?"
"Doesn't fit in with his macho image."
"He's got a very tender side." Arief laughed and I bristled. "What's funny?"
"Did you know Mr Poonawala always brought his fish to work?"
Yes. "No."
"Your ex knew."
"My ex?" all my excitement withered away.
"Who died?" Arief said.
"What?"
"You went cold. What happened?"
"We're talking about my ex. I don't know what else could kill a conversation faster." I started to pull my arm out of his, but Arief didn't let go.
"How did you guys get the fish? Everyone at the agency wondered."
"I don't know."
"You're lying!"
"Mr P gave them to my ex. Willed them to him. There was an understanding between them. He'd asked me to care for them a few times, so my ex and I went to Mr P's place and he walked us through their routine."
"Why?"
"His pets had all died. He felt it was only a matter of time when he would too. Uncle wanted someone to care for Fish and we didn't mind." The first time he had invited me into his office, Nigel Poonawala only had Fish in their tank next to his massive rosewood table and plenty of pictures of his dead, but much loved, pets. I could talk about Uncle Nigel now. Fish had never been a secret.
But I felt ill, the old memories squeezing my heart unbearably. The first time we met, Uncle Nigel and I had bonded instantly. Maybe it was that way when you liked animals. It had taken a few visits for Fish to be comfortable with me. By then I was married. Considering how he never took care of Fish while they were in our care, I didn't understand my ex's fascination for them or his need to covet them. Certainly Fish never warmed up to him, or talked to him. For a strange reason Uncle Nigel had never seen through my ex. Neither had I, until it was too late.
"You still don't say his name," Arief said.
"Whose?"
"Your husband's."
"We're divorced. I'm entitled not to sully my being by saying his name."
"That seems harsh."
"Yet it is true. And he lives and continues to blight humanity with his existence."
"At this rate, you'll never get a boyfriend."
I laughed. It was at once incongruous and the truth. Eventually every boyfriend had seemed a reflection of my ex. Somewhere it was written into my genes that I needed to be treated badly and bent out of shape. "I'm definitely not looking." That was a lie. I was always hopeful, but Arief didn't need to know.
"Why do you talk to the fish so much? Surely they're unlikely to understand."
I shrugged. I was in another world when I was with them. Uncle Nigel and my parents had been too. No one was going to understand my feelings for them or how they stimulated me.
I saw Genie turn and his eyes caught mine. His eyes took in Arief and our intertwined arms and he turned away again.
No one would understand, except Genie.
After a couple of hours directly under a sunny sun, I got up from my bench in the garden of Chez Perreira. I had to. Many of its staff had given me meaningful looks. Besides, the numbers of small children bouncing hard plastic balls off me had increased.
I threw the last ball that hit me into a tree. Luckily it lodged in the tree's branches and I could hear the ball's little evil owner begin to wail. I stepped out jauntily into the small kaccha lane, feeling slightly happier and, more than ever, assured that my soul was furiously winging its way to hell.
I could hear a collective tut-tut from my parents in heaven. Sometimes I wished they had been like other parents - whose children were always in the right, even if they were wrong.
"I would have hated you," Aunty Glory once told me. "I can tolerate you because your parents kicked you into shape."
I had sat glumly in the Gonsalves flat, recounting some miserable event and hoping Aunty Glory would commiserate. She hadn't. She had given me a stiff lecture about the futility of feeling sorry for oneself, ordered me to straighten myself out and hurl myself unforgivingly at the world. Whatever that meant. I had been too browbeaten to ask for a clarification and I put it all down to quintessential, I-don't-care-about-your-feelings Gloryspeak.
The narrator, on holiday with Cousin Roma and her extended family, has had a nightmarish start to her holiday. She previously got into a fight with a guest of the family, Arief, disappeared without apologising and has now been found and been brought back, unwillingly, to the hotel.
More drama ensues, with the narrator neck deep in shit. How will the day end?
I shook myself. I was in lovely Lonavala, which was still in the throes of a tepid winter. This cannot be equated with any other winter in any other place. I wished I had run out with a sweater, so I rubbed my arms, stamped my feet a few times and started walking to the town centre. I felt fear when I heard footsteps, felt a shadow fall on me and strong cold fingers on my shoulder and part of my neck. I whirled around, terror clutching my heart. Damn! I didn't think retribution would come so soon!
"Don't you get tired of running away!" Ashok said angrily, pink spots of colour showing in his fair cheeks. I tried to wriggle out of his grip. "And why can't you pick up your damned phone?!"
"I spoke to Roma!"
"I heard!"
"So?"
A swear word escaped him and my back stiffened. "So you've had all of us worried and running up and down these lanes. And your fish are a mess. They've been jumping out of the tank and now Genie's shut the tank's top with a brick. They're extremely agitated. I've never seen fish behave that way!"
"Bullshit... Nobby would have told them..." I couldn't believe Nobby hadn't immediately relayed his conversation with me. If he hadn't, the lack of information would be driving Fish insane and they usually threw themselves against the walls when they were disturbed. That was one thing that stressed Genie. He was never able to predict their behaviour or get them to behave. Heck, they never listened to me! And it explained why Genie still hadn't come by looking for me.
"Who's Nobby?" Ashok looked at me, his face screwed up, lower lip jutting like a boxer - the dog, not the fellow with the gloves.
"Er, er... a friend." I tried pulling my arm from Ashok's grip, but it tightened.
"Boyfriend?"
"Hahaha. In a manner. He's got a healthy regard for me." How else could I describe a mosquito who was a mad hatter and loved rum and me in equal measure.
I pushed against Ashok, but he wouldn't relent. He pulled me along and I dragged my feet. The pain in my flesh was intense. I finally yowled and tried to prise away his fingers one by one. "If this is how you manhandled Eva, no wonder she's trying to run away from you!" I shouted.
A look of shock appeared on Ashok's face. He let me go immediately and I ran to Pretty Villa! I turned to look and saw Ashok standing where I left him. I stopped in my tracks. Me and my stupid mouth. I looked in the lobby and then I walked back slowly.
"Eva told you I hit her?" Ashok said, distressed.
"No, of course not!"
"But you said..."
"I didn't mean it. You were cutting off my blood circulation." I pushed back my sleeve to show him my bruises and gaped at my slightly pink flesh. There was no sign of trauma. "Er... my arm was hurting and you wouldn't let go," I said lamely. Ashok's mouth grew tight, his eyes narrowed and nostrils flared.
Shit. How did I land in it so often. I went up to him and grabbed his hand and urged him to run with me to the hotel. It was like trying to move a mountain. I tugged and pulled. Finally, I said, "I'm sorry, Ashok. I shouldn't have said that."
"Damn right, you shouldn't have! I treated her like a princess. And if anyone should come to her senses, it should be Eva!" Ashok snarled.
I stepped back to avoid the spit that escaped his lips. I moved towards him again. "I agree!" I grabbed his arm again in a futile effort to budge him.
"Bullshit! You're just playing me. You cousins are all the same."
"What do you mean?"
"Bloody cock teases. Drama queens. And you women can't stay married!"
My blood ran cold. "Are you referring to me?" I was the only divorcée I knew among my first cousins, though cracks were showing in other marriages.
Ashok strode towards the hotel. I felt rage well up in me, I ran in front of him and tried to shove him backwards as hard as I could. "Oh no you don't, you smug creature. You don't just toss a bomb in the air and then run!"
Ashok looked flustered and stepped around me, he walked fast to the hotel lobby and I ran after him. I grabbed his shirt, hanging onto his collar and his shirt tore open at the buttons and I lost balance and fell. The rest of the group seemed plastered to their seats in the open lobby area, spellbound by the drama unfolding in front of them. I could see people get up and run toward us, but I had jumped on Ashok and was holding onto the squirming man as tight as I could.
"What are you doing?!" I heard Eva scream. I felt hands tear me away and Genie in my face, shocked. I felt drained. I could hear the elders shouting and see them shuffle as quickly as they could in our direction. And then I caught sight of Fish. I gave Ashok a mighty push and ran to them.
Arief blocked my path. His face was an angry red and he was opening his mouth to say something - mostly to shout. I slowed in front of him and put my hand on his mouth. "I'm sorry, Arief. Things got out of hand and I'm a great big idiot. I'm very sorry for hitting you with the table tennis ball and being rude. I hope you'll forgive me." I pushed past him, feeling my tears fall briskly.
I tossed the brick away and opened the tank. Fish were in different corners. I stroked their fins and whispered. I felt worse now because they looked battered, disturbed and dishevelled. I looked around and saw the mixed reactions of everyone.
"I'll be right back, Fish." I closed the tank's lid and put the brick back on it. I ran to my room and grabbed my purse. I stared at the floor. Someone had kicked my nicely folded clothes to a corner. The act of violence had been unnecessary, but telling. I hesitated but then began to shove my things into my haversack.
"Stop it!" Roma was in the room holding my hands still with effort. "You're not going away!"
"Nope. Don't want to be treated like shit anymore. If someone feels like kicking my clothes about, I don't want to share a room with them."
"Eva didn't mean it!"
"You really mean Nidhi."
"If you leave, it'll be a sign of weakness - that you're running away. Daddy will have something truly awful to say."
"It's okay, Sweetie. Let anyone say whatever they want. I just want a little peace. I'm going to walk away and salvage some good sense, hang onto any equilibrium I can find."
Roma grabbed me, hugging me. "What happened to you?!"
I pushed her off. I wanted to tear Nidhi's clothes and stuff her cosmetics in the WC. But I had a sudden vision of brightly painted red lips flapping through a snore. For sure Karma is biding its time for you, Nidhi.
I galloped down the stairs and then slowed. I saw the group chattering to themselves, Arief was talking to Ashok and Ashok's arm was around Eva's shoulders and hers around his waist. He had changed into a t-shirt.
Genie's eyes were on me, taking in my bag and my wet face. He closed the tank lid, unlocked the wheel lock and started pushing the tank to the hotel's exit.
"Where are you taking the fish?" Uncle demanded.
I could feel Genie's reassuring smile even though his back was to me. "For a walk, Uncle."
"And where do you think you're going?" Uncle trained his eyes on me, coldly.
"For a walk, with Genie," I tried to say as calmly as I could.
"With your luggage?"
"Yes."
"Why don't you just go home! Run away. Not face up to anything!"
There was pin drop silence.
I struggled with every emotion in my being - but mostly impotent rage. Finally, not wanting to stay silent and mostly not wanting my silence to invite more disrespect from this pus-filled crowd, I stood in front of Uncle and said evenly and so that everyone could hear, "Sometimes, Uncle, it's okay to divorce someone who'll never be good to you. Sometimes it's okay for you to take your bag and run away from someone who can't be kind to you. Sometimes, it's okay to piss off someone, set a foot wrong and stand on your head and be silly. I'm going to make those mistakes, over and over and over and over. Whatever it is, I'll take it like a man. I'll see you at dinner. Maybe you'll want to wager something for my appearance."
Uncle continued to give me a filthy look. Roma's in laws looked happy. I charged towards her sisters in law and they, and their husbands, jumped back in fright, wiping off their smug smiles. Georgy looked mad. I instantly felt sorry for Roma.
I walked to the huge glass doors and felt a soft ball bounce against my back. I whirled around, feeling totally frustrated and ready to do violence. Roma's son Aarav, the precocious pre-teen who hated body contact, picked up his ball, slipped his hand in mine and said, "Let's go, Aunty. I want to see your new hotel." From the corner of my eye I saw his baby brother toss his table tennis bat into a potted plant and run toward us.
"Wait for me, Baby," my cousin Roma said, walking quickly. It unleashed angry cries from the pus pots. Georgy looked more pissed, but Roma was oblivious. She grabbed my bag, swung it on her shoulder and the crook of her arm squeezed my neck.
We moved forward and I heard another set of footsteps, albeit slower and heavier. Arief's eyes met mine. He pulled my bag off Roma's shoulder. Outside I felt the sunshine on my head and shoulders and it was less cold now, with a pleasant fragrance of cut grass in the air. I caught sight of Genie waiting for me at the gate, the lid of the tank open and my darlings lined near the top of the tank, watching. The children ran to the tank and Fish slid back in and out of reach.
Genie reached out and hugged me tightly. He murmured, "Are you okay?"
I nodded. When he still looked disbelieving I whispered, "Y-yes. I'd like to break a lot of arms and legs, but that thought is safely locked away in my subconscious."
He loosened his hold. "Let's look to have fun these two days, okay?"
I nodded. It had been a lousy day and a half, but there was still another day left to our holiday. Who knew what would be on the menu, but I was game for anything.
I woke up with a start.
Eva was talking in her sleep. I could see light streaming in through the windows and Fish looking fed up. They were massed on the couch in the tank, with ear plugs and ear phones, either trying to block the sounds from the beds or drown them with music.
My watch said 5.45am and I could see the sky lightening. I got up, took my towel and went for a bath.
"Wait!" Penaaz swam to the top of the tank. I went closer. "I just realised we could have slept in the bathtub and closed the bathroom door."
"That's not a bad idea. Though I think my body would be crooked forever."
Bath over I messaged Genie if he wanted to have morning tea with me. I wheeled the tank out of the hotel room door and Fish let out a torrent when they saw Genie.
"You won't believe the hell we've been through..."
"An evil, evil business..."
"It was like being tied to a hyena in constant pain..."
"They need to be put down..."
"... need their oesophaguses checked..."
Genie crouched on his haunches to listen to Fish. "Check their oesophaguses... why?"
Gregory pushed the others aside and filled his chest. "Hideous, guttural moaning all through the night! It was violent, unadulterated torture!"
Genie grinned. "Well, you'll have to get used to it. There's no way out."
Penaaz shoved Gregory aside, "Can't we move in with you, Genie?" she begged piteously. I was surprised at her. Eva and Nidhi must have traumatised them. I had been dog tired and slept immediately and deeply. I suspect that was why Fish were annoyed with me and sucking up to Genie now.
"You're stuck, I'm afraid. The guys snore too."
I tried to keep from smiling. But my amusement died soon. Only if I ran around Lonavala's perimeter, played table tennis like crazy and swam 50 laps might I pass out at night and stay comatose. Tonight seemed a grim business.
******
This is a fictional series about the narrator, her former manservant and now friend, and former pet fish. They have followed the narrator on a holiday with her relatives and have spent a miserable night with roommates from hell. Though she brushes off the previous night's irritations, the narrator is headed for more trouble.
******
At nearly 10am, and because Georgy, his mother and Ashok banged their door, the two women came down to the dining room for breakfast. Almost all the food was over and the hotel staff shrugged their shoulders. They did offer to get sandwiches for the two women.
But Uncle had other ideas. "They will eat what is available. Tomorrow they'll set an alarm and come on time for breakfast," he said coldly and shook out his newspaper. He was stretched out on a stately hardwood armchair, similar to the teak wood ones we had at our home in Kerala.
So Eva and Nidhi ate cold soggy toast, relieved by the taste of butter and marmalade. Arief, Ashok and I played table tennis and when Eva was near me, I grabbed her arm and pushed a bat into her hand.
"Hey!" Nidhi said. I didn't understand the affinity Nidhi was showing her sister-in-law, my cousin, Eva.
"Give Nidhi a bat someone," I said. Nidhi hated sweat. I had never seen her run and right now, even on holiday, she tottered about ramrod straight on a pair of stilettos. I felt like whacking her, but it was not lost on me how much interest the men were taking in her. Ashok, pushed his bat into his sister's hand and muscled her into place at the table with Arief.
Arief looked at Nidhi's feet, "Are you sure you'll be able to run in those?" he smiled, all sexy and gooey. She opened her mouth defensively, but with the warmth of Arief's gaze she soon slipped off her sandals daintily, making a great show of it. I could see my no-nonsense uncle and the other conservative Syrian Christian elders watching it all.
I hit the ball to their side of the table and it bounced and shot past Nidhi's ear, making her drop her bat in fright. Even though I nonchalantly fiddled with my table tennis bat - like tennis professionals did while concentrating but secretly plotting the routing of their rivals - I could feel my uncle glaring at me. I wondered why Nidhi's parents hadn’t stopped with Ashok and whether they knew about family planning then, but...
"Ouch! Asshole!” I glared at Arief. He’d served and the ball had smacked and bounced off my collarbone. I dropped my bat and grabbed the stinging portion of flesh and bone, feeling an absolute fool. The goat was looking at and fiddling with his bat. People laughed. I glared at those assembled. Genie grinned and Fish watched with interest.
Some people moved closer to the table and when Arief looked away I served. It hit him under his chin. He glared at me while rubbing his chin. I could see Ashok and Genie move nearer to me, on either side. Now I felt some panic.
“That was unnecessary,” said Mr Hot Uncool Guy from across the table.
“Yes. My aim was really off.” I moved to my left, shouldering a bewildered Georgy into my place, to avoid having to deal with Arief's next volley. Nidhi looked at me witheringly. In response, I said, “You think you’ll be able to run without your stilettos, Nids?”
“My name is NID-H-E-E.”
“We’ll make sure we win the game,” Arief butted in.
“At this pace I won’t make it to the Wimbledon finals,” I said.
“Unlikely you’ll even get a wild card or be allowed to step on the grounds. You're too much of a kook to be taken seriously.”
I could only suck in my breath in shock at his rudeness. I felt worse at the burst of laughter around me and felt the burn of humiliation. My eyes filled.
“That’s enough, you two!” Ashok said, bewildered and upset. I could feel Genie's arm around my shoulder and angry cries from the tank. I couldn’t bear to look at anyone. I put my bat down and walked slowly out of the hotel.
I could hear Roma's raised voice. But I didn’t care, I sprinted out into the road as soon as I was out of sight of the door. What a huge mistake I'd made coming here. With people I didn’t care for, always making up someone's numbers and being an idiot and overdoing the pettiness. I felt foolish and ashamed of myself.
“Quit the pity party,” I heard Aunty Glory say. “You asked for it,” was probably what my dad would have said. “He could have done it better,” my mom would have said. Or, in this instance, “You deserved it.”
I heard him before I saw him. Nobby, my mosquito friend, sat at eye level on a leaf of a bush. I was sitting on a bench in the garden of another hotel. It would take the hotel's staff a while to discover me and longer to figure out I wasn't a guest.
“Are you okay?” Nobby asked. He didn’t attempt to sit on me or hover.
“Yes.”
“Your nose is red.”
“Okay.”
“Why were you so rude to Arief and Nidhi?”
I opened my mouth to defend myself but I couldn’t. I’d just been rotten to both for no reason. I shook my head and hunched. I couldn’t look at him.
“You know, Fish shouted at me to bite Arief. When I didn’t they threw water out of the tank. But worse, everyone’s upset and your rudeness has spoiled the holiday atmosphere.”
I nodded, tears spilling. I’d been an idiot, with my antagonism for Nidhi getting the better of me. I felt inferior sometimes, the way she looked down on me and never had a nice thing to say to me. Still, spitefulness had not been the solution.
My phone rang. It was Roma. After several rings I picked up. She gave me an earful and ordered me to return to Pretty Villa.
“N-No, Roma. Not just now. I’m going to the market. I’ll be back later.” I cut the line before she could reply and didn’t pick up her call again. I was a fool through and through. I didn’t have any money in my pockets, but I was damned if I was going to go back to the hotel now.
******
