Fishy Chronicles 33: Chai, Bhajias and a Visitor

"You had a lucky escape," Arief grinned, while passing me a quarter plate. We were seated next to each other on a garden bench in Pretty Villa Hotel, Lonavala. Several plates of piping hot bhajias were making an appearance.

"From what?" I asked. I had made amends with Uncle and was now waiting to stuff myself. I ignored most of the family's cross looks. But I gave evil Nidhi my best and broadest smile every time I saw her gaze rest on me - twice. After that she squeezed between her cousin Georgy and her brother Ashok and ignored me. I was going to celebrate tonight. Maybe with a cigarette. I thought of the packet of Gudang Garam in my underwear pouch.

Arief poked me with his elbow and I started. "Why can't you be friends with her?"

"With whom?"

 "Nidhi."

"Who's that?" I mumbled with a mouth full of kanda bhajias. The batata bhajias glistened with the oil they had just been fried in and they were fast disappearing.

"How long have you been fighting?" Arief persisted.

"Who am I fighting with?" I ventured after a long pause.

There was silence. I didn't want to look. I had a chance with a really cute guy and all he was doing was talk about another woman. When I finished chewing, slowly, and silence still prevailed on the left flank, I turned my head to look. Arief was sitting back on the bench, his lips a thin straight line, staring at me. But it was not a cold look. He seemed to be thinking. 

"Don't think, Sweetie," I told him in my head. "It doesn't seem a healthy pursuit for you."

I heard laughter from the tank. I turned to see what had set Fish off. They were rolling on the floor of the tank. And Genie was motionless, his body rigid, staring deeply into a bowl of green chutney. Then his moustache quivered slightly. Shit! I'd said that aloud! I turned around to look at Arief. His expression grew stiff, and his eyes bored mine.

"Er. Were you asking about N-Nidhi? She's been cold to me. No idea why. We've moved around in the same circles, were in the same school, have family in common, but she doesn't want to have anything to do with me." I warbled desperately, trying to undo the damage. From across the long table between us, Ashok cocked an eyebrow.

"You've got to give up rubbing people the wrong way," Ashok told me. A small splash of water hit Eva next to him. Though I was mortified at the put down, which I deserved, I tried hard to control my face. Ashok looked up and around and immediately grabbed a paper napkin to wipe his wife's neck. From the corner of my eye I could see Roma and her kids grin.

Suddenly Arief stood up. He walked around the length of the table and stood near Nidhi. People moved to accommodate him on the bench. Her back instantly straightened, a smile radiated from her face and just as quickly my spirits plummeted. Arief refused to look my way and every now and then Nidhi smirked at me.

Suddenly the bhajias felt tasteless. I felt Nobby buzz around me. He tsk-tsked for some time. "Really! Can't you just hang onto a good thing when you see one?!"

I looked at Arief's patrician face, the long nose and long eyelashes. I wanted to get up and run. But we'd already established there were no hotel rooms available in Lonavala, I didn't want to upset my uncle again and my car was not safe to spend the night in. Plus, I was fed up with running and being called a quitter.

I saw a white teacup slide toward me. Genie moved closer and poured out the hot tea into the saucer and gave me the cup. I let Nobby have the first sip.

I could see the relatives stare. I ignored them. But in a minute I choked on my tea. I first sprayed it on the lot in front of me and then coughed hard. Snot and tears streamed from my orifices. Opposite me, Ashok, Eva, Nidhi, Arief and some of the Kurians began to babble and reach for tissues. Someone pounded my back. My nephew Aditya! And Genie pushed a tissue into my face. 

"What's the matter with you?" Genie said, mopping the table and trying to stop the spilled tea from falling onto our clothes.

I could only point. Eva looked at where I was pointing and shrieked. She scrambled off the bench and tried to embrace a large shrub. Ashok turned to look at what had frightened her. He moved back in fright and got up quickly. I don't know where it came from, but I laughed. 

"Will you stop that!" Genie hissed.

I shook my head and continued to choke, cry and laugh. Roma had often told me that the Kurians and their extended family were namby pambies. One by one, the family hurriedly got up and moved backwards. The massive cockroach stretched and stared at the nearest plate of bhajias on the long garden table. Roma and I stood near it and watched. It strolled forward to the plate of bhajias and reared up to put its front legs on the side of the plate.

Aditya's little hand slowly pulled the plate away a few centimetres. In the background we heard cries, "Kill it! What are you waiting for!" Uncle, a great believer in pest control services, had already disappeared and Aunty and Georgy were ordering Roma to kill the cockroach. Someone flung a newspaper in our direction. The cockroach listened to the commotion and darted toward the plate. Aarav grabbed the plate from the opposite side of the table and pulled it clear. 

Aditya looked up at Roma and said, "Mumma, shall I take it and put it some place safe?"

Roma's mother in law immediately screamed, "No! It's dirty! Cheeeee!"

"Don't touch it, Adi!" Georgy shouted, trying to look manly behind his mother. Genie leaned over the table to get a better look at the cockroach.

"Use the newspaper to kill the damn thing!" Ashok shouted. 

"How?" Roma asked, a grin on her face. Ashok rushed toward us, grabbed the Hindustan Times from the ground, rolled it into a baton and started pounding the table, with his face turned away and his body about a foot away. It was a wonder he could even reach the table. But there he was, thwacking the life out of the already lifeless bhajias.

Roma, Genie and I held our stomachs and the table and laughed our guts out. We could hear the bewildered children. "Stop, Ashok Uncle, you're scaring the cockroach," Aditya said, concern in his voice. Adi usually picked them up and threw them out of the window.

His big brother Aarav plucked the newspaper from Ashok's hand looked at the oil stains on the newspaper. "Appacha* will be angry at you for hitting food. We'll kill the cockroach if you're so scared of it!"

"I-I'm not scared!" Ashok denied and stumbled backward. There was a long wail from the other side of the table. It sounded like a siren. It was Aditya upset about an impending cockroach killing. Roma slumped on the table, shaking and guffawing, while her husband and in laws screamed at her, imploring her to do something and then scolding her for her undignified conduct. Finally, Aditya plucked the large cockroach off the table and ran off. He disappeared behind some of the bushes in the garden and reappeared in a couple of minutes without the insect.

When I turned around, a number of very angry people glared at us. I saw Nidhi and Arief leave the garden. Ashok glared at me and Roma, while we grinned back at him. 

"Who knew you were scared of cockroaches, Ashok," I said.

"I find them disgusting," he blustered. A bark of laughter escaped Roma and her children looked at her suspiciously.

Eva thrust herself into my face, "You let us suffer. You know I'm terrified of them!"

Georgy pushed himself between us, furious at Roma. "You've been letting my children play with dirty insects!"

That got my goat. "On the contrary, Georgy. We've established your boys have more backbone than most of the men in our family. And... they are kind."  Despite the dubious genes from their father, my darling boys Aarav and Aditya were going to be fine.

"Want to go for a swim?" I asked them. The water was bound to be cold, but what the heck. We'd jump in and then figure things out. They ran for their trunks and I for my swimsuit. I stood at the top of the stairs and wiggled my fingers at Roma to follow me. Georgy was scolding her, but her eyes were on me. She grinned and walked past the angry relatives, running up two steps at a time.

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This is a fictional series about a group of Fish, their former owner and her former manservant Genie. Fish and Genie have returned from their travels to live with the narrator for a few months and in this episode they are all on vacation with her relatives.  

Tempers fray and unexpected guests cause complications. 

                                         ******

We were floating in the swimming pool, enjoying the sun on our fronts and the cold water against our backs. There had been several angry summons from various family members, but none had tried to venture into the pool to pull us out. None knew how to swim. And Roma, the boys and I hadn't budged in a long time. In between, Genie joined us and then left.

"You know..."

"What?" Roma said. 

"I think I'll be banned for life from any of your family outings," I told Roma.

Roma laughed. "Probably. But they can't do a thing even if you do turn up. They can't be rude to you, that will annoy Daddy... and Genie... and Fish." She laughed once more. "I think you should come again. It will shake things up. And," she suddenly waded toward me, "let's get Arief, Genie and Nidhi too. My holiday has never been so much fun!"

I stayed silent. I had no wish to repeat this horrible experience. We held hands and floated. A shadow fell on us. I opened an eye, our cousin Eva was looking at us uncertainly. "May I join you?"

"Hurry!" I said. She disappeared to get her suit. "Don't look now, Roma," I murmured, "Darth Vader Nidhi is watching us." 

"I know," Roma said her eyes closed. "She can't get enough of you." She sighed and straightened. She swam to the side of the pool where Nidhi, Arief, Ashok and Georgy were seated. Georgy still looked angry.  

"Want to join us in the pool?" Roma smiled.

Arief took off his clothes and slipped in. "I don't know how to swim," Georgy bleated, feeling more left out now that Arief was in the pool.

I heard a mild swear word from under Roma's breath. "Jump in, Babe, I'll teach you. Just go wear your trunks."

"Yes, Daddy," the boys said enthusiastically. 

"I don't have trunks," Georgy said, mutinously. His kids waded off and began to toss a ball. 

Roma swam back to me. "Want to do laps? What say we come back at night. We can swim in the dark and maybe smoke."

"Georgy?"

"He'll be dead to the world. Come on, 10 laps." And she was off thrashing the water like the former state champion swimmer she was.
               
                                         ******
* Grandfather