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| (Illustration by A. Peter) |
That night there was a tap on my bedroom door.
Genie came in and watched me pack my suitcase. It was a nice spiffy American Tourister that I had bought when my editor had promised me a junket to Rome. A month later I learned that a young thing in the News Bureau had flown out instead.
“I said to travel light,” I heard Genie's moustache say.
“Yes. I’m travelling very light. This is only about 12 kgs.”
“What about Fish?”
“They plan to lie in a hammock, drink Breezers and read.”
Genie held my busy hands still until I looked up. “Come to the sitting room. We have to talk.”
Sudden deflation. “Are you leaving us? So soon?”
“Yes. And I’m taking you lot with me. I need to lay some ground rules.”
This is a fictional series surrounding Fish, Genie, a former thug turned manservant turned free bird, Norbert, a rum-loving mosquito, and Donny, a North Pole elf who gets his new year's wish of spending the Christmas holidays with a family.
None of them suspects each is going to goad the other into an adventure.
Fish comprise Gregory, the intellectual, Portas, the fitness freak, Dimitri, the narrator's favourite fish and confidante and Penaaz and Pervez a pair of lovers and thinkers who are ever fearful of losing their loved ones.
In this episode Genie wants to take Fish and Company on a trip and orders them to travel very light... which causes heartburn in the household.
Zeba Bobby, a neighbour with an enormous crush on Genie and who hates the narrator, gets a taste of karma.
I followed him into the sitting room, curious. Nobby and Donny were sitting on the TV stand and watching Fish in the tank. They were zipping from side to side and packing.
“Stop what you’re doing and listen to what I have to say,” Genie ordered.
Fish slowed for an instant, but then continued at breakneck speed.
“Now!” Genie leaned over the tank and said a trifle loudly. A sudden thought entered my head – what if Genie had children and they behaved exactly like Fish.
They stilled. And Genie moved to his cupboard, which was always locked. He pulled out one large knapsack and threw it on the ground between us.
“When I said travel light, I meant everything that is essential has to fit into this bag.”
Fish and I looked at Genie and at each other and we laughed. There was already a mountain of stuff at the side of their tank waiting to be packed into their fake Louis Vuitton valises.
Genie sat on the sofa and put one leg over the other and waited for us to stop.
“You're joking, right, Genie?” Gregory was smiling. He was holding a heavy book. I could read one word, Homosapiens.
“Tomorrow you may have to choose between the scales on your back or travelling. We won’t be able to run home and empty your suitcases. Total weight has to be less than 10kgs.”
“I won’t be able to take anything. Barely any clothes and underwear,” I protested.
“There's an excellent laundry service where we're staying and shops. You can buy what you need, but you won’t need to.”
I looked at Fish. They were eerily quiet. Why?
Then Pervez hoisted himself half out of the tank. He and Penaaz were a pair and we rarely heard them speak. Still they were the ones Fish went to for advice. I attributed their wisdom to the old Parsi gentleman they had lived with previously. But they were filled with the dread of the unknown and losing people close to them, especially after their parent Mr Poonawala died.
“Are you taking us in your Fokker?” Pervez asked. Penaaz looked terribly anxious.
“Well?” Gregory demanded.
“Yes. So there's not much space for luggage.”
Suddenly there was a commotion. But I could think of only one thing. “You have a plane?” And you didn't tell me?
“Yes. I use it a lot. Had it for years. Took your dad up in it a couple of times...”
I stared at him, feeling left out in every sense. Fish knew. Papa had known. Only Genie hadn’t felt the need to tell. Against my will I heard myself say, “What do you use it for?”
“Travelling,” Genie said and walked out of the door.
When I had calmed myself, I looked at the fish tank. There was a great big uproar going on. Pervez and Penaaz were completing each other's sentences angrily and vowing not to go.
“He's a madcap who's probably transporting his ganja or diamonds!” Penaaz bounced off the fish tank’s walls in agitation.
“That’s not fair. Genie's given it all up ages ago. He's on the straight and narrow,” Portas said.
“But if he has a death wish, why do we need to follow?” Pervez wailed.
“You guys have flown with Genie before?” I leaned over the tank. I needed to look Fish in the eye because I wanted straight answers.
“Yes.” Portas said, after a long time. Fish had gone silent.
“When?”
“When you were on your junket to Chhindwara.”
More shame. It had been a factory visit into the Indian hinterland that no reporter had wanted and eventually it was thrust on me.
“It was a factory visit. Junkets are to exotic locales for favoured subordinates.”
“Look at it this way. You got to see the interior of Madhya Pradesh in comfort, stayed in a small palace... the kind of experience very few are likely to have,” Gregory said, adjusting his bow tie and not making eye contact.
“Yes, you’re right. Did Papa go?”
Fish bobbed up and down in silence. Dimitri finally made his way up. “Yes. Papa was upset he was doing it behind your back. But he was very sad and the short trips cheered him. Genie promised to take you one day. We are just surprised it didn't happen sooner.”
“Why didn’t it happen sooner?”
“The tensions with your ex husband. Rohit. And when Papa also died you were always disturbed... we felt you were grieving... then Genie left. He got fed up that you couldn’t sort yourself out.”
“That’s not right,” Portas butted in. “He said you needed space. There were too many of us crowding you at any given time.”
“So he abandoned me?!” I was beginning to feel awful.
“No. Of course not!”
“Is that why you guys left?”
Dimitri looked at me for a long time. I could hear Penaaz beg him “no, don’t say it” over and over.
“We left because it was time to let you figure out things. Plus, it was time to move on. Our lifecycle is very short. We always knew we were going to come back. It wasn't just you who lost a beloved parent, you know. Us and Genie too.”
I felt my throat close and nodded. I knew Papa had taken an instant liking to Genie and vice versa. Papa had even got a carpenter to make a cupboard and bed for Genie. And Genie always sat on the sofa or armchairs, unlike the servants. For my father, Genie had been family. For Genie, I suspect, Papa had been his father.
I picked up the bag and slid open the zip and looked into it without seeing. Whatever I had heard hadn’t changed a thing – I was getting out of Peaceful Society for 10 days. And if the Fokker was any indication, I was going to have the time of my life!
“Right, kids. I’m going to take my aviators and wear three pairs of underwear on the Fokker. Be sure to pack your stuff tonight, else I'll commandeer the extra space. What about your things, Donny?”
He pointed at his tiny holdall. It would fit into a sidepocket.
******
I felt a little fear when I thought of the Fokker, but I was good for an adventure.
Last night I spoke to Penaaz and Pervez about the trip. I had joked about us crashing into the ocean and being with Mr Poonawala and my parents sooner than we thought. But when Fish started angrily raining water on me, I changed tack and told them that I trusted Genie with my life.
I didn’t think Pervez or Penaaz would believe me. And as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t share my feelings of loss. Or my real fear that all my loved ones would either die or desert me. Neither could I assure them that a plane crash had never been my idea of a top killer of loved ones.
Now the front flap of the knapsack was stuffed with Fish's toys, comics and finger food and they were in their airsuits, impatiently waiting for me to stuff the last of my things into the bag. I hurriedly switched off the lights, checked all the switches and taps and locked my two front doors.
Unusually, Genie was already in the cab – normally he held the door open for me. But I soon realised why. I saw Zeba Bobby rushing towards us on very high heels, in a caftan with a plunging neckline. Plus she wasn't wearing a bra. No wonder Genie was terrified. I jumped in and the Ola driver sped off.
But I needed to finger Genie and though I thought she was awful, I asked, “What’s wrong with Zeba that you can’t be around her for a few minutes?”
I almost shrivelled under his glare. He turned away and looked out the window. After several minutes he glared at me again, “Why couldn’t you tell her to bugger off after she blocked you out of the Christmas preps.”
Fish looked up at the sky. I shrugged weakly. I had felt outnumbered and bullied by the women of Peaceful Society and I hadn’t been able to fight back.
Genie continued to speak, “I’m damned if I’m going to talk to her. I thought you were smart though.”
“Why?”
“Blocking her number and not baking the cakes.”
“I’m now the villain of the society.”
“Of course you are. Peaceful Society is filled with idiots, morons and bullies. If there is someone sensible here, he or she is probably trying to move out. But I’m here now. And Fish and Nobby. We'll see what they throw at us.”
“Yes, Sweetie,” I felt a touch. It was Penaaz. “Be true to yourself.”
I had a sudden thought. “Zeba cornered me at the gate the other day, very angry.”
“Yes?” Penaaz said.
“She said every time she walked past our window, someone threw water at her. But the watchman told her I wasn't at home. Would you know anything about it?”
“Yes.” She smiled beatifically – probably the first time I’d ever seen Penaaz smile. “A lot, actually. Let’s just say, sometimes you can’t wait for karma to come around.”
Fish, Nobby and Donny tittered and Genie stretched in his seat and his body relaxed.
So did I. Only they didn’t know that someone had been watching.
An elderly neighbour I’d given a lift to a few days ago had cackled about Genie washing the windows diligently... and how it always coincided with Zeba passing by.
It probably explained the sun umbrella Zeba now sported everywhere – even at night.
Poor Zeba. She was madly in love with Genie but unable to do a thing about it. And worse, Genie was living with loser me.
Karma had a boot in someone's gut, for sure.
This is such a wonderful, whacky read....
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