I felt a poke in my breast.
“Sorry, that wasn't intentional,” Genie said.
I looked involuntarily at the space between our seats on the Cessna and realised his elbow poke had been innocent. Besides, I didn’t think it was Genie’s style to fondle sleeping women with his elbows.
When I didn’t respond, Genie leaned closer and his moustache murmured, “Still angry with me?”
“Ah, no. How much longer?” I seemed to have woken up because our little plane had landed somewhere.
“Another hour. This is a scheduled halt.”
I looked through the windows. “Are we moving East or West?” Seemed like East, judging by the number of East Asians on the airfield.
“Are we going to Malaysia? Singapore? Borneo?” I was hopeful about the last. Nothing about Genie was predictable. And so I crossed off Malaysia and Singapore off my list. Besides I’d trawled the two countries with my parents a few times. We’d done the tourist drills and then later when my aunt turned 70, we'd visited her again in Johore Baru. That time I could remember some of what I saw.
“Borneo, Brunei, Vietnam?” I tried again.
“Wait and see, my dear.”
Hong Kong and Macau? I grabbed his arm excitedly, “China?!”
He shook his head.
I stared at Genie's overwhelming moustache and hawk nose. I wanted to pull both in frustration. “Have you ever had a girlfriend, Genie?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I want to know if any of those women... or men... ever asked you to shave off your moustache.”
Genie chuckled. “Yes. Almost all of them did.”
“Men or women?”
Silence.
“Well, did you shave it off?”
“No.”
“And what happened?”
He shrugged and turned to hand popcorn and chocolates to Fish and Donny, who was now sitting on the edge of the tank with his feet in the water.
“Doesn’t Thadeus think it strange you wanted a fish tank in his plane?” I asked.
“Yes. But he’s met Fish before. It’d be easier to make them comfortable than ask them to fall in line. Thad often flies Carl about too.”
“Carl?”
“You know, Fish's rich benefactor.”
Fish were now at the top of their tank, listening to our conversation. “You lot told me his name was Garl!” I said, beginning to get angry.
“No,” Gregory said, “you chose to hear otherwise. And we let you continue to think so assuming you'd figure things out soon.” He shrugged and looked at me defiantly.
“That’s an utterly crap excuse. To let me think so for so long is... is...”
“Is what?” Genie grinned.
“I can’t think of a word! Only rude ones come to mind. It feels so mean. Like Zeba and Peaceful Society all over. I don’t need it, do you understand?!”
I felt a hand on my arm. I shook it off.
“What brought that on?” Genie murmured.
“You can’t figure it out? You thought it was fun that I’d think he was Garl instead of Carl for years? To speak to him and call him Garl... What must he think of me. So rude, Fish. Not done!”
There was silence on the plane. I was embarrassed. I had forgotten there were other flyers.
A while later, Thad called me into the cockpit. I couldn’t summon a smile. “Carl had a good laugh.” Thad's smile evaporated at my glare. “Er, but Fish always told him they were having fun with you. He didn’t take it badly.”
“How do you know him?”
“Genie put me on to him.”
“How come?”
Thad looked wary. “They do business. I fly him about. Genie puts a lot of business my way.”
“What does Carl do?”
“I just fly him, I don’t ask questions.”
Nicely fobbed off. Carl, as far as I knew, was extremely wealthy but I couldn’t understand his accent. Once he told me he was Scots.
“I’ve never heard of any Scotsmen named Garl,” I told him.
“Humeny Scotmun d’yue gnaw?”
“Gnaw?” I didn’t bite people. What the hell did he mean?
“Yea, humeny?”
“Humeny?”
“Humeny Scotmun y’no?”
“No?” This was bizarre.
“Nun?”
“Nun?” Maybe if I met you I could lipread you, Garl. But I was not ending this soon enough. “Er, Garl, give Fish my love. Catch you later.”
“Roit, lass. Oil be seen yue!”
“Roit.”
I watched the men on the airfield. Carl probably thought I was a royal twit. I felt like one. When I least expected it, Fish sent zingers my way. Idiots.
“What do Fish do with Garl?” I asked the innocent Thad. He now represented my fount of Fishinformation.
“Carl. They travel with him. He loves going about in style. Stays in the best hotels and moves around places I’ve never heard of.”
“Like?”
“Well, early this year Fish went to Finland. You know... in Scandinavia?”
I knew where Scandinavia was! It was in my school atlas, Genie sent me postcards from there and what the hell was there to see apart from overweight men in hotsprings showing indecent amounts of loose flesh, much snow and blond Vikings and their busty, sexy women. Oooh... and Stefan Edberg and Mats Wilander! I forgot them!
“Yes, Scandinavia, comprising Norway, Sweden and Finland... And any other countries I may have missed.” I tried to Google the region and realised I hadn’t subscribed to prepaid international roaming – the plus of being middle class.
“Well, they were holed up in a high-end resort, snowed in... Carl and his girlfriend... and Fish.” Thad smirked.
That must have been uncomfortable. Fish were voyeurs, but kinky human interactions made them go numb. No wonder they were in Mumbai, enjoying a sweaty winter.
Naw. That couldn’t be it. They knew Genie was going to be in Mumbai in December, they had turned up with their special pink paper and then there were the weird, anonymous Christmas gifts. I still thought they were from Fish, but now I had lots of doubts.
“Where are we headed to, Thad?” I said, hoping to catch him off guard.
“It’s a secret.”
“I could ask the other passengers.”
“Good idea!” Thad grinned. “You’ll need to buckle up. Time to take off again.”
In my mind I swore at Thad. He seemed like Genie's amiable twin. Handsome too! I flounced off and buckled up. Thad announced we were going to take off. But wait! No one else was getting in – the other seats were empty and the plane's door was shut. My co-passengers had all exited the plane.
I looked out... people were moving away from the aircraft. The plane started taking off and I felt tense, my hold on the armrests a vice.
Genie put his arms around me and held me tightly. I struggled to push him away – I now knew what Zeba wanted. It was too much skin, muscle, sweat and cologne – all a nauseating mix. But it got my mind off the wretched take off.
In an instant he let go and a comic was thrust at my nose.
******
We helped Fish with their airsuits and they lined up at the window to watch the descent. I took photos of all my darlings, their backs turned to me.
“Fork, Fork, Fork, FORRRRK!!!” Penaaz screamed, jumping up and down in excitement.
“Is that one of the seven wonders of the world, Genie?!!” Gregory didn’t even turn. Fish were now pressing themselves against the window. Donny’s eyes gleamed. And he did the strangest thing. He leaped into Genie's arms, hugged him and then just as quickly jumped back to the window again.
I tried to undo my seat belt. I stilled when Genie ordered, “Not while we're descending. Stay put!” I shrank back and glared at him, but he was watching Fish and Donny and smiling at their excitement.
I saw a massive black stone structure and then it disappeared below the window and then smaller ones came into view and disappeared. I couldn’t figure it out... were we visiting a seventh wonder of the world? Pyramids... and then a blank. Childhood general knowledge escaped me. Were we in Machu Pichu?
“Genie, do you have international roaming?”
I could see Genie take a slow breath and the tic in his cheek return.
“Yes. You can use my phone once we land.”
“Is that one of the seven wonders of the world?” I gestured at the window, not knowing what I had glimpsed.
“I have not heard it described that way.”
“How have you heard it being described?”
We bumped all over the ground and the screeching and banging of the plane over the tarmac muffled his answer... if any. That was a lousy landing. Experienced pilot my ass!
I threw off my seat belt and lunged over Genie to look out the window but it was fast turning dark. The sky was a beautiful red, orange hue. There were no signboards near enough to read.
He had Fish and Donny in his arms, our haversack on his shoulder and turned at the door to look at me. I yelled a goodbye at Thad and hurried after Genie.
“Where are we?” I asked Genie’s back. There were lights now in the distance. We got into a jeep and drove ahead.
“How long do you plan to keep me in the dark, Genie?”
I heard a short bark of laughter. But my attention was drawn to the signs. Most of it in a language I couldn’t decipher. I grabbed Genie's phone. I had a trick too.
I stared at the screen and sighed. Finally!
“Satisfied?” Genie said, amusement in his voice.
“No!”
“Okay. Here we are!”
And we stopped at a palace and I tumbled out. Literally. I felt shabby. There were porcelain white Asian dolls in high heels and expensive slinky outfits, beautifully made up, walking into the hotel in pairs. There seemed to be a party in motion.
I looked down and at us. Genie was still smirking. He grabbed my arm and we marched in... through the enormous doorway. It seemed we weren’t going to be kitchen staff here.
He dropped the bag, Fish and Donny in my lap and went off to reception. Before I could react, a man dressed in satiny flared pants and a traditional coat offered me a hot towel, a welcome drink and wafted off. Apparently Fish in airsuits and North Pole elves were common sights here. I was wide awake now. Was it too late to explore? My watch read Indian time.
Genie gestured at me and we followed the doorman upstairs. I wanted to scream a 100 questions. We came to a room.
“What are we doing here, Genie? And if you’d told me we were going to stay in a palace I'd have dressed better!”
“Right.” He pulled me into the room and shucked my bag onto the table and checked the loo and balcony and tested the doors. “Goodnight. Don’t watch TV or stay up late. We’ve got an early day ahead of us. I’ll wake you up at 4.”
I grabbed his arm. “Don’t you think this skulduggery has gone on too long?”
He grinned. “Yes. I’m surprised you didn’t beat me. Though I was nervous for my well being on many occasions. But now you know.”
“Know what?”
“Where we’re going.”
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going to Angkor Wat in a couple of days. And tootling around Cambodia the rest of the week. For sure we'll spend the new year here. Game?”
“Game. But why hide it?”
“You thought East Asia was infra dig.”
“I did not,” I said weakly.
“I could have sworn you wanted to catch the fag end of winter in Europe.”
“Won’t it rage on for some months?”
“Yes. Now sleep tight. You'll see things tomorrow you never have. I’ll stand outside until you lock the door. Here's your local phone. I've added my number in it.”
I latched the door and then looked around.
What a room! And the bathroom had a massive jacuzzi in it. And for once there was no noise or complaints from Fish. I looked longingly at the tub but took a shower instead. I had just a few hours to sleep.
******
“Sorry, that wasn't intentional,” Genie said.
I looked involuntarily at the space between our seats on the Cessna and realised his elbow poke had been innocent. Besides, I didn’t think it was Genie’s style to fondle sleeping women with his elbows.
When I didn’t respond, Genie leaned closer and his moustache murmured, “Still angry with me?”
“Ah, no. How much longer?” I seemed to have woken up because our little plane had landed somewhere.
“Another hour. This is a scheduled halt.”
This is a fictional series surrounding Fish, who previously lived with the narrator and then left to spread their fins, Genie, her erstwhile manservant and now free soul and world traveller, and Donny, the North Pole elf spending the Christmas and New Year holidays with the narrator.
The narrator is a single woman living in the distant suburbs of Mumbai.
I looked through the windows. “Are we moving East or West?” Seemed like East, judging by the number of East Asians on the airfield.
“Are we going to Malaysia? Singapore? Borneo?” I was hopeful about the last. Nothing about Genie was predictable. And so I crossed off Malaysia and Singapore off my list. Besides I’d trawled the two countries with my parents a few times. We’d done the tourist drills and then later when my aunt turned 70, we'd visited her again in Johore Baru. That time I could remember some of what I saw.
“Borneo, Brunei, Vietnam?” I tried again.
“Wait and see, my dear.”
Hong Kong and Macau? I grabbed his arm excitedly, “China?!”
He shook his head.
I stared at Genie's overwhelming moustache and hawk nose. I wanted to pull both in frustration. “Have you ever had a girlfriend, Genie?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I want to know if any of those women... or men... ever asked you to shave off your moustache.”
Genie chuckled. “Yes. Almost all of them did.”
“Men or women?”
Silence.
“Well, did you shave it off?”
“No.”
“And what happened?”
He shrugged and turned to hand popcorn and chocolates to Fish and Donny, who was now sitting on the edge of the tank with his feet in the water.
“Doesn’t Thadeus think it strange you wanted a fish tank in his plane?” I asked.
“Yes. But he’s met Fish before. It’d be easier to make them comfortable than ask them to fall in line. Thad often flies Carl about too.”
“Carl?”
“You know, Fish's rich benefactor.”
Fish were now at the top of their tank, listening to our conversation. “You lot told me his name was Garl!” I said, beginning to get angry.
“No,” Gregory said, “you chose to hear otherwise. And we let you continue to think so assuming you'd figure things out soon.” He shrugged and looked at me defiantly.
“That’s an utterly crap excuse. To let me think so for so long is... is...”
“Is what?” Genie grinned.
“I can’t think of a word! Only rude ones come to mind. It feels so mean. Like Zeba and Peaceful Society all over. I don’t need it, do you understand?!”
I felt a hand on my arm. I shook it off.
“What brought that on?” Genie murmured.
“You can’t figure it out? You thought it was fun that I’d think he was Garl instead of Carl for years? To speak to him and call him Garl... What must he think of me. So rude, Fish. Not done!”
There was silence on the plane. I was embarrassed. I had forgotten there were other flyers.
A while later, Thad called me into the cockpit. I couldn’t summon a smile. “Carl had a good laugh.” Thad's smile evaporated at my glare. “Er, but Fish always told him they were having fun with you. He didn’t take it badly.”
“How do you know him?”
“Genie put me on to him.”
“How come?”
Thad looked wary. “They do business. I fly him about. Genie puts a lot of business my way.”
“What does Carl do?”
“I just fly him, I don’t ask questions.”
Nicely fobbed off. Carl, as far as I knew, was extremely wealthy but I couldn’t understand his accent. Once he told me he was Scots.
“I’ve never heard of any Scotsmen named Garl,” I told him.
“Humeny Scotmun d’yue gnaw?”
“Gnaw?” I didn’t bite people. What the hell did he mean?
“Yea, humeny?”
“Humeny?”
“Humeny Scotmun y’no?”
“No?” This was bizarre.
“Nun?”
“Nun?” Maybe if I met you I could lipread you, Garl. But I was not ending this soon enough. “Er, Garl, give Fish my love. Catch you later.”
“Roit, lass. Oil be seen yue!”
“Roit.”
I watched the men on the airfield. Carl probably thought I was a royal twit. I felt like one. When I least expected it, Fish sent zingers my way. Idiots.
“What do Fish do with Garl?” I asked the innocent Thad. He now represented my fount of Fishinformation.
“Carl. They travel with him. He loves going about in style. Stays in the best hotels and moves around places I’ve never heard of.”
“Like?”
“Well, early this year Fish went to Finland. You know... in Scandinavia?”
I knew where Scandinavia was! It was in my school atlas, Genie sent me postcards from there and what the hell was there to see apart from overweight men in hotsprings showing indecent amounts of loose flesh, much snow and blond Vikings and their busty, sexy women. Oooh... and Stefan Edberg and Mats Wilander! I forgot them!
“Yes, Scandinavia, comprising Norway, Sweden and Finland... And any other countries I may have missed.” I tried to Google the region and realised I hadn’t subscribed to prepaid international roaming – the plus of being middle class.
“Well, they were holed up in a high-end resort, snowed in... Carl and his girlfriend... and Fish.” Thad smirked.
That must have been uncomfortable. Fish were voyeurs, but kinky human interactions made them go numb. No wonder they were in Mumbai, enjoying a sweaty winter.
Naw. That couldn’t be it. They knew Genie was going to be in Mumbai in December, they had turned up with their special pink paper and then there were the weird, anonymous Christmas gifts. I still thought they were from Fish, but now I had lots of doubts.
“Where are we headed to, Thad?” I said, hoping to catch him off guard.
“It’s a secret.”
“I could ask the other passengers.”
“Good idea!” Thad grinned. “You’ll need to buckle up. Time to take off again.”
In my mind I swore at Thad. He seemed like Genie's amiable twin. Handsome too! I flounced off and buckled up. Thad announced we were going to take off. But wait! No one else was getting in – the other seats were empty and the plane's door was shut. My co-passengers had all exited the plane.
I looked out... people were moving away from the aircraft. The plane started taking off and I felt tense, my hold on the armrests a vice.
Genie put his arms around me and held me tightly. I struggled to push him away – I now knew what Zeba wanted. It was too much skin, muscle, sweat and cologne – all a nauseating mix. But it got my mind off the wretched take off.
In an instant he let go and a comic was thrust at my nose.
******
 |
| Somewhere in the Far East. (Photo credit: A. Peter) |
“Fork, Fork, Fork, FORRRRK!!!” Penaaz screamed, jumping up and down in excitement.
“Is that one of the seven wonders of the world, Genie?!!” Gregory didn’t even turn. Fish were now pressing themselves against the window. Donny’s eyes gleamed. And he did the strangest thing. He leaped into Genie's arms, hugged him and then just as quickly jumped back to the window again.
I tried to undo my seat belt. I stilled when Genie ordered, “Not while we're descending. Stay put!” I shrank back and glared at him, but he was watching Fish and Donny and smiling at their excitement.
I saw a massive black stone structure and then it disappeared below the window and then smaller ones came into view and disappeared. I couldn’t figure it out... were we visiting a seventh wonder of the world? Pyramids... and then a blank. Childhood general knowledge escaped me. Were we in Machu Pichu?
“Genie, do you have international roaming?”
I could see Genie take a slow breath and the tic in his cheek return.
“Yes. You can use my phone once we land.”
“Is that one of the seven wonders of the world?” I gestured at the window, not knowing what I had glimpsed.
“I have not heard it described that way.”
“How have you heard it being described?”
We bumped all over the ground and the screeching and banging of the plane over the tarmac muffled his answer... if any. That was a lousy landing. Experienced pilot my ass!
I threw off my seat belt and lunged over Genie to look out the window but it was fast turning dark. The sky was a beautiful red, orange hue. There were no signboards near enough to read.
He had Fish and Donny in his arms, our haversack on his shoulder and turned at the door to look at me. I yelled a goodbye at Thad and hurried after Genie.
“Where are we?” I asked Genie’s back. There were lights now in the distance. We got into a jeep and drove ahead.
“How long do you plan to keep me in the dark, Genie?”
I heard a short bark of laughter. But my attention was drawn to the signs. Most of it in a language I couldn’t decipher. I grabbed Genie's phone. I had a trick too.
I stared at the screen and sighed. Finally!
“Satisfied?” Genie said, amusement in his voice.
“No!”
“Okay. Here we are!”
And we stopped at a palace and I tumbled out. Literally. I felt shabby. There were porcelain white Asian dolls in high heels and expensive slinky outfits, beautifully made up, walking into the hotel in pairs. There seemed to be a party in motion.
I looked down and at us. Genie was still smirking. He grabbed my arm and we marched in... through the enormous doorway. It seemed we weren’t going to be kitchen staff here.
He dropped the bag, Fish and Donny in my lap and went off to reception. Before I could react, a man dressed in satiny flared pants and a traditional coat offered me a hot towel, a welcome drink and wafted off. Apparently Fish in airsuits and North Pole elves were common sights here. I was wide awake now. Was it too late to explore? My watch read Indian time.
Genie gestured at me and we followed the doorman upstairs. I wanted to scream a 100 questions. We came to a room.
“What are we doing here, Genie? And if you’d told me we were going to stay in a palace I'd have dressed better!”
“Right.” He pulled me into the room and shucked my bag onto the table and checked the loo and balcony and tested the doors. “Goodnight. Don’t watch TV or stay up late. We’ve got an early day ahead of us. I’ll wake you up at 4.”
I grabbed his arm. “Don’t you think this skulduggery has gone on too long?”
He grinned. “Yes. I’m surprised you didn’t beat me. Though I was nervous for my well being on many occasions. But now you know.”
“Know what?”
“Where we’re going.”
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going to Angkor Wat in a couple of days. And tootling around Cambodia the rest of the week. For sure we'll spend the new year here. Game?”
“Game. But why hide it?”
“You thought East Asia was infra dig.”
“I did not,” I said weakly.
“I could have sworn you wanted to catch the fag end of winter in Europe.”
“Won’t it rage on for some months?”
“Yes. Now sleep tight. You'll see things tomorrow you never have. I’ll stand outside until you lock the door. Here's your local phone. I've added my number in it.”
I latched the door and then looked around.
What a room! And the bathroom had a massive jacuzzi in it. And for once there was no noise or complaints from Fish. I looked longingly at the tub but took a shower instead. I had just a few hours to sleep.
******
Ah, you pulled out Stefan Edberg and Mats Wilander! Haven't thought of them in years! Don't private jet flyers have to go through immigration (unless it's a secret mission, perhaps, and you seem like tourists)? Just wondering, because you don't know where you are till Genie tells you at the hotel ...
ReplyDeleteHi Sra,
DeleteThere is a process 😀 I took liberties, but tried to follow the process as closely as possible. Plus, we must give Genie credit for being an unknown quantity, full of secrecy, and Narrator being a crackpot. More left out than in.