Showing posts with label Nigel Poonawala. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nigel Poonawala. Show all posts

Friday, 10 April 2020

Fishy Chronicles 59: The Escape


I chafed. Fish were annoyed at me for not reeling in my anchor and sailing away. Our war of words had attracted attention and Joy Uncle cleared his throat many times before losing his temper.

Next time keep your fish at home!

“There’s no next time,” Portas muttered from the fish tank.

“Yup,” said the lovers, treading water beside Portas.

“Next time, next time, so many promises. Yet we dust off the mobile tank and come here every time Uncle orders you to. We should stop visiting, my dear,” Gregory gritted his tiny teeth. 

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I still wanted to finger my father’s brother. “Hard to do now, Uncle.”

Why?

“Because you chased away Genie – the one person who would feed and take care of Fish. Now I will never be able to stay here overnight. Either they are here with me or we are not here at all.”

There was a groan from the tank and the water swished menacingly. “Oh, please say we’ll never come back!” Pervez said, actual hope coming through in his voice. He had been in a state of distress since Genie left (Uncle’s Man and The Unravelling). 

Shhh!” I couldn’t hear myself thinking.

“Don’t shush me!” Uncle roared.

“Umm, I wasn’t telling you.” I had meant Fish, but I couldn’t say it out loud. Fish chuckled and moved closer to the glass wall to get a better look at Uncle.

He was a sight. He was turning pink, and his patrician face was screwing up painfully. What a pity – he was such a handsome man when he smiled.

“Were you telling your fish?” he spat out. I stayed silent. “Why are you silent! Be bold and say what you think!”

“I was telling Fish to keep quiet.”

“Next you will say the moon is maroon.”

“No. But… you just said it.”

I don’t know where the swear word came from, but my best friend Anjali, Danny and my cousin Rita laughed despite the angry noises coming from the relatives gathered at Joy Uncle’s house.

My great aunt Beasty tore into me. “You are a horrible, horrible child.”

“Idiot!” my cousin Rajiv shouted and I bristled. 

“Shut up, you!” I howled at Rajiv.

He ran towards me aiming his hand at my face, but he exclaimed in terror and fell flat on his face. There was a moment of pin-drop silence, and then absolute commotion. Beasty got up and was confused about whether to come and hit me or peel her much-loved nephew off the floor. I couldn’t figure out what had happened. It seemed like someone had tripped Rajiv, but the ones closest to my cousin had been his sister Rita and… Danny.

No. It couldn’t be.

Come on, this is our chance. Let’s run for the door!” Fish shouted.

Come on!” Gregory said, “Let’s go before they figure out we’re missing.

I tried to release the brake of the wheels of the fish tank, but the lever was stiff and suddenly I felt the light dim. I turned and stepped back hard into the book shelf behind me. Uncle's face was red and angry and I thought he was going to hit me. I raised my elbow to ward off a blow. A couple of seconds later, I looked up. He had a faint look of surprise on his face and had moved back a tad. “You are not leaving. You are staying until I say you can leave!”

“Tell him that we’re going!” Pervez shouted. Penaaz tread water, but did not restrain him.

“Got to go, Uncle,” I said.

“Because of Genie?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I need to ask him when he’s leaving. I’ll have to help him pack.”

There was silence in the room.

“That’s interesting. Do you always help him pack for his trips?” Uncle said, barely hanging on to his temper.

“If Genie is to leave as soon as you want him to, he will need my help.” I heard Anjali laugh. I could see Beasty and Rajiv glare at Anjali, but they were too afraid of her to react more.

“As long as this is the big goodbye, he can take his time. He’s got the weekend.”

“I don’t know, Uncle. You’re always on his case. He might cry, and I’ll have to help him blow his nose.”

You are not going home and that is final!

The angry words reverberated around the room and much as I wanted to retort I couldn’t. I was too embarrassed all this was playing out in front of an audience.

I pressed against the handle of the bookcase trying to keep a distance between Uncle and I and felt the pain between my shoulder blades intensify. I looked at Fish, my eyes filling and finally my tension spilled out in tears.

“Idiot,” a voice said. “You made her cry!”

“Who said that!” Uncle shouted in the silence.

“You keep asking… and I keep telling you… you’ll never know, you pig!”

For good measure, water hit Uncle in the eye and he moved back in a hurry. He opened his mouth angrily and his hand moved impulsively to the door, but then I started smiling and his mouth closed and his arm went down.

“You will stay here and help Elsa in the kitchen!” Uncle growled, turned around, glared at everyone, especially at Anjali, and went back to his armchair.

                                               ******

This is a fictional series about the narrator, her parents’ former man Friday and Fish. The narrator is trying to escape her Uncle’s house but he has foiled her plans. Fish decide something more drastic is needed.
                                               ******

When there was a lull in the conversation, someone switched on the TV. I stood in the kitchen’s doorway feeling stressed.

It felt like Uncle had elaborately planned to introduce me to a potential suitor – Danny – and insult and drive Genie out of my home. Uncle had made me the laughing stock of the family. Why was he doing this? And now I was reduced to being a cook, to make up for his daughters’ unwillingness to don aprons and aid their mother Elsa.

I glared at the guests and at Uncle. He had become a monster. Why was he so angry at me?

“Come here,” Penaaz ordered. I glared at her, annoyed at her command.

“Please,” Dimitri, my favourite fish, said. My anger melted a tad.

“Please, sweetie, come here,” Portas said. “Open the lid and play with us.”

The idea of dipping my hands in the cool water, and letting Fish chase away my agitation appealed. I washed my hands at the kitchen sink and went to the sitting room and opened the lid of the fish tank. I slid my hands in and Fish rubbed and nuzzled my palms and fingers. I leaned my chin on the edge of the tank, let my hands float and listened to the TV. I could feel people watch me, but I didn’t care anymore.

“What’s Wuhan?” Portas asked, trying to catch a glimpse of the TV.

“The place where that virus originated. According to news reports, China had a lockdown to contain an epidemic. But the Chinese were too late and the virus is racing around the world and killing people at a horrific rate,” Gregory said.

I straightened. Last week Genie had topped up our grocery reserves and even stored them in the loft. I had joked about him being paranoid. “We can’t wait until it is too late,” he had said.

“We’ve never been affected – even when it was SARS, Swine Flu, etc.”

“There have been cases in India, but we were isolated in many ways. This time, I’m not so sure.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but Genie put a finger on my lips. “Let’s watch the news some more and take precautions. For now, that means a mask and staying away from public spaces.”

“And you got this information from WhatsApp?”

“From the experts on TV. At worst we have food stocks for a couple of months.”

I wanted to say more, but held off. And things had worsened. I wasn’t even sure I should have come to stay this weekend at Uncle’s place. Anjali and I had tensed every time someone coughed or sneezed. Danny’s mother had a cold and Anjali and I stayed a safe distance away.

We had been watching the news and worrying about the spread through Asia, but it was spreading through Italy and parts of Europe like wild fire. I had tried to buy hand sanitizers at DMart, but staff told me it was being rationed. I could buy 
only one bottle. I stopped teasing Genie. Perhaps it wasn’t paranoia, but he was a middle-class hoarder for sure.

I felt a presence near me. Uncle had a strange expression on his face. I began to feel tense.

“Strange to see you play with your fish. Is this what Nigel did too?” Nigel Poonawala had given me Fish many years ago. He had owned the ad agency my ex husband had worked at but Uncle Nigel and I had made an instant connection.

“He had toys for them. And yes, he spent a lot of time with his hands in the tank,” I said reluctantly.

“Perhaps I should try. They always hide behind the bushes in the tank,” Uncle said.

“Wash your hands first, Uncle.”

“Isn’t that extreme?”

“Didn’t you make all your visitors wash their hands before they handled your newborn grandchildren?”

“Right. You think my germs can kill your fish?” Uncle smirked.

“Tell him he’s hit the nail on its head, sweetie,” Gregory said, but Uncle had moved to the bathroom and came back holding up his wet hands like a surgeon.

“Oh, no, he doesn’t!” Dimitri said and grabbed his bicycle and started cycling furiously. He flew out of the tank, somersaulted with his tiny bike and landed with a splash in the tank. The water smacked us in our faces and Uncle slammed backwards into the bookcase. It shook. I took the chance and wiped my face on his shirt.

Fish grabbed their bicycles and started somersaulting out of the tank and splashing hard into the water. They rained water on Uncle, and he cowered against the book case, exclaiming, “Aiyyo!” over and over again.

Run, run, run! Let’s get out of here,” Gregory shouted.

I bent and pulled the lever hard. This time it clicked and I could feel the tank roll forward slightly. “Get in, get in, get in!” I shouted at Fish and wheeled them into the sitting room.

I saw my relatives watch me in shock, but Rajiv started running towards me. This time Danny stood up and blocked his way. I didn’t wait. “Anjali!” 

She was at the door, helping me lift the tank over the doorstep. I slammed the main and security doors shut and Anjali jabbed the lift button frantically. The flat’s door opened, and I could hear Uncle, Beasty and Rajiv shouting, children screaming and furniture toppling. “Run, you two, run!” Rajiv’s sister Rita shouted.

The lift's doors opened, and we pushed the tank in and the doors closed. We breathed hard, holding our chests.

“Shit!” I said, feeling my heart hammering all over again. “Shit, shit, shit! I left my bag and keys upstairs.”

“No, we’re good.” Anjali pulled the strap of my bag she had slung across her chest.

“Our luggage?”

She grinned. “I asked Aarav and Aditya to put them in the car without their mother or anyone seeing. I thought it best to be prepared. Aditya was upset at the thought of you going, but after that stupid lunch session he was amenable" (The Unravelling).

Bless my darling nephews. I’d be baking them a nice fat chocolate cake when they came around next.

We got the fish tank into the car. There was no one chasing after us. But when I looked up at Uncle’s window, he was staring at me angrily with a furious, blabbering Rajiv beside him. I stepped on the accelerator. I’d figure out the consequences later.
                                               ****** 

Tuesday, 27 August 2019

Fishy Chronicles 35: Au Revoir, Lonavala


There was a gentle tap on my hotel room door. I'd bathed, dressed and packed. Our holiday was finally over and we were checking out of Pretty Villa Hotel in Lonavala by 11am.

Nidhi was still sleeping and would likely miss breakfast again today. The younger, more intrepid, lot was planning to have tea first, walk around Charlotte Lake and then go to a nearby Parsi hotel for breakfast.

Genie smiled and took control of the tank and Fish listed out the various horrors they'd endured during the night.

Downstairs, we met Arief, Ashok, Eva, a grumpy Georgy, Roma and their kids and Georgy's sisters and their families. This was unusual as Georgy's sisters rarely liked to mingle with outsiders. Genie, Arief and I were considered outsiders, even though we were insiders and knew enough to not to want to know more.

I felt a hand pull my ponytail. "You went skinnydipping in the pool last night," Arief said, grinning mischievously.

"Probably got me mixed up with someone else."

"Nope. I saw you."

"Something wrong with your eyesight then."

"Nothing wrong with my eyesight. I saw you and Roma smoking in the pool."

"Ah!" I casually slapped Arief on the chest. "We were modestly covered. And you're not supposed to say we smoke in front of our relatives."

"Why not?"

"Because it's secret. Hence, our midnight swimming session."

"I see."

He didn't really. But I didn't want to explain the time warp in which our families existed. "So, did you have a good holiday?"

His eyes widened and blinked. He smiled slowly, "In a manner of speaking."

"It's me you're talking to. You can be honest. 'A manner of speaking'... you might as well have said you didn't have fun."

"I did have fun." I opened my mouth to argue but stopped when Arief gave me a brilliant smile. "Just not in the way I expected."

"Oh."

"You could have woken up Nidhi and got her out with us," Arief said, spoiling the moment.

"I could have. But I didn't want to punish myself more than necessary. By the way, you could have woken up Nidhi too. She would have welcomed your sunny morning greetings with a 200-watt smile. Why didn't you?"

"I thought I'd leave all that to her beloved cousin, sleeping in the next bed."

"She's not my beloved anything."

"On par with what you feel for your ex?"

I looked at Arief wondering why he suddenly brought my ex husband into the picture. I wondered what to say. Whatever I said I wouldn't be able to recall it. And later I'd realise it was inadequate. I often had speeches for what I wanted to say to my ex, but they never saw light of day. My parents and well-meaning relatives had told me I'd regret what I said – even if I was right. Not saying what I felt had never worked well for me. But it didn't work well even when I did say them. The best solution, I eventually realised, was to walk away.

I took a sharp uncomfortable breath and started walking faster until I was next to Roma. I put my arm into hers. I didn't turn back. Somehow I didn't want to talk to someone who was going to constantly bring up my ex or Nidhi. He could have them both.

                                        ******
This is a fictional series about the narrator, her  opinionated former pet fish, and her parents' former manservant Genie, who is now her friend. 
They are wrapping up a rather eventful holiday with the narrator's cousins and in laws. There is palpable relief in the air.
                                        ******
"Why are you avoiding Arief? He seems to like you," Roma said while we were navigating our way around Charlotte Lake. I say navigating because Georgy's older sister lost her balance while we were walking on a path leading downhill. She grabbed my arm and we rolled a little way. We stopped – with her on top of me and a large stone in my side. It was bloody painful. I gasped for breath, coming to the conclusion those were my last.

But someone lifted the heavy woman off me and I could feel Genie and Arief pull me to my feet. Genie made me sit. I couldn't bear to look at Georgy's sister. It would have to wait until I'd mastered the rage born of my soreness. My churidhar was torn at the knee and I could see a trickle of blood. But it was nothing compared to the pain in my side and my embarassment at it all. Roma clucked with worry and finally pulled me toward Pretty Villa Hotel.

"Very sorry," Georgy's sister said embarrassed. There was not a scratch on her, though Georgy kept brushing some dust off her. My nice white kurta had turned a dark clay brown and there was a tear at the side.

Roma, Arief and I were now back at the hotel and I was unpacking to see which of my previously used clothes I could reuse. Nidhi was awake and yawning. Her face screwed up as soon as she saw me and then changed for the better when she saw my disheveled state.

"Rolled around in the dirt, did you, doggie?"

"Woof!" I replied, finding no real answer on me.

"Shut up, Nidhi!" Roma said. "How dare you call my sister a dog!"

"Er, Roma, I didn't see you." Nidhi jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. I heard the lock turn. I could think of several swear words – none of which did Nidhi justice.

I finally found a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and I had quick shower in Roma's room.

Downstairs Arief looked me over. "Let's take my car to the hotel."

"No parking there. Let's just walk it."

"Is Nidhi awake?" he asked.

"Yes. She was asking for you. Maybe you should go up." I felt Roma grab my arm and give it an angry shake.

"No, Arief," Roma said, "Just ignore her. Come on. Let's go."

"Are you in pain?" Arief asked. I was grimacing from where my knee had scraped the ground and the hotel was a 15-minute walk away.

"Why do you always mention my ex and Nidhi when you know I don't like it?" I turned on Arief.

Arief smiled involuntarily. It died when Roma glared at him. "My bad. It draws the worst reaction from you  childish of me. It's just that... I used to know your ex from Pink Sun. I attended your wedding..."

"What?" Roma and I stopped in our tracks. 

"Yes. I'm sorry for being nosey. I have so many questions running in my head - about your ex, Mr Poonawala and the fish."

"I won't be answering any of them," I said coldly. I felt Roma's hand gripping my upper arm in warning.

"Er, yes, of course," Arief nodded and we walked silently. I seethed. There weren't enough nosey buggers in this world. Fish were right about him. I looked through the corner of my eyes. It was an absolute pity he looked like a delicious walking icecream.

                                        ******

Genie pointed to the spot next to him and I hobbled over. I ignored the voyeurs. We had spent three days here and even though they hadn't talked to us much, the entire family had watched us like hawks. I should have sat on Genie's lap a few times. He might have jumped out of his skin. Perhaps I could have sat on any random man's lap. No. More problems than I needed.

Genie ladled scrambled eggs into my plate. This was an authentic Parsi breakfast with the eggs almost runny. I remembered Uncle Nigel showing me how to make it, while singing a ditty he had created. That day he hadn't invited my ex and it had led to a fight between us. Uncle had shown me some of his family albums and it had made me forget my husband in a few minutes.

"How did you learn to cook so well?" I had asked. He had shown me some traditional dishes and I had picked up fast.

"Oh. My mother was a wonderful cook and cooked for a rich Parsi and I'd help her. He eventually paid for my boarding school and the rest of my education."

"That's good then."

"I don't know. I thought so, but my mother was always unhappy working for the family."

"Why is that?"

"She never said."

"And you don't know?"

"Today, knowing what I do of the world, I could wager a guess."

I held my tongue, feeling slightly sick. A few days later Uncle came to my parents' home. I had invited him to try my mother's appams and stew. The ex was in a very good mood because of the visit. But I felt good because my parents and Uncle had hit it off. Somewhere we had a common thread, all of us, except for the ex.

You see, to everyone I had lied about who had actually inherited Fish. Everyone thought it was the ex. And we let them because the ex's ego had been hurt. But I attributed Uncle wanting to give me his fish to an extraordinary whim. Plus, there had been perks.

I understood why Ashok and Arief had so many questions. Why they constantly watched Fish, Genie and me. There had been rumours. Some of Uncle's relatives had even raised a stink but he had warned me about it. And his lawyer, S. Iyengar, had assured me the will was iron-clad.

Now more than ever I wondered about Uncle Nigel's motives. Why did he leave Fish to me. Was I all wrong about his feelings for the ex? 

I wondered why I remembered him so much during the trip. I turned to look at Fish. They were treading water watching me. What an incredible coincidence Genie ended up working for my parents and we shared the same feelings for Fish.

I stood up and rummaged in my bag. I had managed to get them something special today. Raw chicken liver. The broiler shop owner had cut it into slivers. I fed Fish slowly, chatted while they ate and then sat down to my cold breakfast. Everyone stared, their eyes twice the size they had been 15 minutes ago. 

Genie removed the plate covering my half-eaten breakfast, put another large spoonful of the beautifully soft eggs and a freshly buttered piece of toast on my plate. We joked about returning home to Peaceful Society and tried to imagine the gossip our joint absence would have elicited.

"Next month, that public holiday, could I come and stay with you guys?" Roma leaned over and asked. I could see her little son Aditya stand up in excitement. Georgy cleared his throat, but Roma ignored her husband.

"Yes! Of course!"

"There will be two young men following me."

"The more the merrier."

"Roma..." Georgy said warningly.

"Relax, Georgy. Just going to chill with my cousin. Not a problem, is it?" she gave him her most winsome smile. I saw Arief and Ashok grin.

"Er, no. I'll check the calendar and talk to Mummy. It should be okay," he said unhappily, all the while staring at Genie.

I dared not look at Genie. From the reflection in the glass door opposite us, he was giving Georgy his most winsome smile.