Fishy Chronicles 80: The Webs We Weave (12) – Sarah’s suitor

Sarah, Johnny and I returned to Appachan’s (grandfather’s) home through the field at the side of the house – under the barbed wire, through the tapioca crop and in through the side gate.

When her holdall and knapsack wouldn’t squeeze through the window bars of my room, I went in and Sarah unpacked and handed me her clothes and then the empty bags. I saw Sarah and Johnny have a short conversation and she watched him go back through the field. If anyone saw…

I couldn’t stop thinking of the crossword puzzle in the newspaper (FC79). At the bus stop and after, I was certain there was a conversation in progress on the sides of the newspaper under the guise of deciphering a crossword puzzle.

Normally the newspaper disappeared in the afternoons and was returned to its pile in a corner of the sitting room in the evenings. While everyone was nursing their tea and snacks I decided to look for the newspaper. I couldn’t think of who to ask to decipher the scribbles. There’d be too many questions. Finally, I decided, my mother was the best person. She’d give me a lecture, but keep my secret.

But the paper wasn’t on the side table. That was strange. It was today’s paper and no one was allowed to keep it in their rooms.

“What are you looking for, mol?” Pilipochyan, my father’s younger brother-in-law, asked. He was my favourite relative this vacation – I felt safe being myself with him.

“Er, today’s paper.”

He lowered further the newspaper he was reading. “You don’t know how to read Malayalam.”

“Uh, yes. But I only wanted the crossword.”

“That’s in Malayalam too.”

I stared at Uncle. He was looking at me somewhat blankly, but there was something else.

“Y-Yes. I think there was a cartoon I w-wanted to look at.”

“You know, I never noticed cartoons in the newspaper.”

Neither did I. Only grey unclear pictures that were probably clarified by the article they were banged into. “Is that today’s paper, Pilipochyan?”

“Yes.”

“May I have a quick look at it?”

He brought the two edges of the newspaper together and held it out to me, watching with interest as I placed it on a nearby coffee table and quickly turned the pages.

There was a quarter page hole in the page – where the crossword had been torn out roughly. When I got over my shock, I noticed some words at the sides of the tear – half words, it seemed. I didn’t have the courage to ask Pilipochyan to read them to me. I’d have to come back when no one was around and tear out the rest of the page.

Pilipochyan’s voice sounded softly over my head, his breath rustling the hair on my head, making my scalp tingle, “Do you know where that quarter page went?”

It was not said in an intimidating way. He just sounded curious. He went back to his armchair and sat on the edge, waiting for me to reply.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Isn’t it strange? Just that part of the newspaper disappearing,” he lowered his reading glasses to look at me better.

“Y-Yes.”

“Do you know anything about it?”

“… No.”

“What I don’t understand is why you’d be interested in a Malayalam crossword when you don't know how to read Malayalam?” he grinned suddenly. I backed away and bumped into a body. “Someone got to the crossword before mol. Any idea who, Sarah?” the grin broadened.

I felt my cousin Sarah’s hands tighten on my upper arms, holding me still. “No, Pilipocha.”

“Hmm. Did you manage to do it?”

“Yes.”

They looked at each other, Pilipochyan smiling at us expectantly and Sarah and I silent.

Suddenly I was released and Sarah moved into the dining room, picking up dishes and walking straight to the kitchen sink. I turned to follow her but held back when I saw the baleful looks of my grandmother and her daughters, who were sitting at the dining table. I turned the other way and skipped out of the front door, making for my guava tree. Romeo, my favourite rooster, was in my spot, fast asleep.

                                                       ******

The general mood that night was upbeat. People joked about a wedding in the house, but piped down every time Sarah came into view. The women chattered about it and my cousins, boys and girls, lurked unobtrusively to listen. When I stood near the adults, I heard little of interest. So I went to my room to read an ancient issue of the Women’s Era magazine.

The door to Sarah’s room was open and she was sitting at the dressing table and staring into the mirror vacantly. I slowed, wondering why she was sitting alone and wanting to talk to her. On our walk back from the bus stop (FC79) she was near human and I felt we were almost back to how we were.

Her eyes widened when she saw me and I scooted towards my door. “Wait, mol. Come here. I want to talk to you.”

I stood where I was and Sarah came to her door. She held it open for me. She latched the door after me, and grinned, “Too many nosey parkers about.”

She showed me to a loveseat in the corner. “Just to confirm… we’re not talking to anyone about what happened today, right?”

“Right.”

“I have to choose a sari, help me pick out one that matches that blouse,” she pointed at a white and pink blouse on the seat of a chair. I was surprised… and elated. Sarah never fussed about clothes or asked anyone for advice or help. We went to her mother’s cupboard and looked through. We pulled out the beautiful silks, but nothing matched the blouse. Then we opened Sarah’s suitcase and she pulled out a cotton sari that matched the blouse.

“Chechi, here’s the matching sari, and it’s beautiful. Why do you want to match the blouse to the silks? It doesn’t seem to look good with any of those.”

Sarah sighed. “Amma wants me to wear a silk, but I didn’t bring too many saris. The only silk blouse I have is this.” She pulled out a scarlet blouse. I had seen her in the bright red sari at an engagement party. She had looked great in it, but for some reason it had annoyed the elders. “And Amma and Ammachi don’t want me to wear it.”

“Okay. Shall I ask my mom for a sari and blouse?”

Sarah shook her head slowly, a smile forming. I knew the pink sari was a Maheshwari, because my mother favoured them. “Your Amma gave me this sari,” Sarah said. I nodded. I knew that.

She laid out a maroon dupatta on the bed and pulled out several jewellery boxes from the cupboard and opened them. I felt excited. She pointed at two large velvet boxes, one had an elaborate gold necklace and the other a simpler one, both with matching earrings and bangles. “Well?”

“The sari goes well with pearls.”

She looked surprised. She got up, and reached into her mother’s cupboard looking for something. She emptied out a worn silk pouch. An old pearl choker, with three thin strands slipped out. Another pouch revealed matching earrings and tasteful old gold bangles with a few pearls inset, individually wrapped in soft cloth.

Sarah draped the folded sari across her shoulder and chest and sat at the dressing table. I closed the clasp of the choker at the back of her neck. We nodded involuntarily – the pearls and sari paired well.

“Ammachi won’t be happy you’re wearing pearls,” I said. Only gold was an accepted form of jewellery among us Syrian Christians. Middle class malayalis frowned on precious stones.

“Then we must make sure we annoy Ammachi,” Sarah murmured, looking at herself in the mirror critically.

She folded the sari carefully and hung the blouse and sari on a hanger in the cupboard. She began to put the jewellery back into their boxes. When she reached the sapphire ring and earrings Ammachi had made especially for her granddaughters (FC73), her hand stilled. She held out the earrings and ring in the palm of her hand. “Choose what you like.”

I was stunned. “N-No. No.”

“I insist. Ammachi should have given you a ring like she did the others. Leaving you out was cruel. So take whichever one you like – I have one too many.”

“No. Ammachi and Appachan will get angry.”

She shrugged, caught my hand and tried to put the ring and earrings in my hand, “They don’t need to know.”

My fingers closed into a fist. “I don’t want something they didn’t want to give me,” I said through clenched teeth. I didn’t want to touch the dark blue stones. I still felt raw at being left out.

“Don’t be silly, mol.”

“You’d have done the same if they had done it to you. Besides, if they didn’t want me to have it, I don’t want it.” I got up and started hurrying to the door, my eyes filling.

“Wait. Wait. How about this rin…”

I wasn’t looking back, I had reached the door and was moving the latch back when Sarah’s hand closed over mine and I felt her arm around my neck, squeezing me into her body. My tears started to fall. I refused to turn.

“Sorry, molu, so insensitive of me. I really want you to have a pair of earrings or a ring.”

I shook my head. “How can you bear to part with a gift that your grandma gives you? I don’t like some of the things my other Ammachi and great grand Ammachi give me, but I love that they want to give me those things. I love that they’re old and have their history in it. And Amma says I’ll think about them differently some day!” I turned and looked at Sarah, at this moment annoyed at her many transgressions.

She looked thoughtfully at me, cupped my face and wiped my tears slowly. “You’re right. I never thought of it that way. I just think of Ammachi as a silly woman, clinging to her traditions from the dark ages – not that I’m trying to diss her gift. Gifts.”

“Also, Chechi, my parents would be angry with me for taking it from you. And how would I have ever worn that ring or earrings knowing what had happened (FC73).”  

Sarah pushed my hair behind my ears. “I never took you for a thinker. Though, now it makes sense why Pilipochyan prefers you to everyone else.”

I pushed my cousin’s hands off me, gently. She had no idea how much torment I had suffered in the last few weeks. One night I had crawled into my parents bed, in between them, and grumbled labouriously. Appa had asked me a strange question – whether I had a takeaway from my experiences. I had to ask him what he meant.

“What has all this shown you?”

“That people are cruel.”

A sigh. “What else?”

“That they don’t think before they hurt. That you think people are kind and wonderful, but they can bank on a lie and turn evil instantly.” My parents were silent. I poked my father. I wanted him to hear about everything ailing me. “Are you sleeping?”

“No, mol.”

“Why are you silent?”

I felt him shrug. “I’m sorry all this is happening. They all seem shallow and silly. I hear a lot of complaints about you, but I’d rather you had a spine and could think for yourself than just be part of the crowd. I don’t know if things will change, mol. But until then, be brave, be yourself… you’ve already started making tough decisions.”

“It feels like hell.”

“Do you think everyone hates you?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Er, not Rita, or Roma... Or Pilipochyan.”

“See.”

“But they won’t help me in any way.”

“Why expect them to?”

“Then what use are they?”

There was more silence. My mother had been holding me tightly for a long time. Now my father’s hand combed my hair. My universe, so far, had no answers.

******

The children were ordered to wear their best clothes and stay in the inside rooms.

So I wore my Sunday church kurta salwar, a ‘ping’ affair, and hung about. But I felt a niggling tension. I wanted Chechi to be married to someone nice. Someone like Appa or Pilipochyan – but livelier… and, of course, more handsome. In the middle of the night, I had hunted for the newspaper and tore out the edges around the hole that represented the erstwhile crossword. I went back to sleep, somewhat at peace and sure that I would get to the bottom of the crossword business.

Everyone in the house was on tenterhooks. I didn’t believe it was possible, but my hairy cousins had all shaved and had haircuts in the past few days. And today they wore gold-bordered white mundus and starched white jubbas. The order had come from Appachan. I thought the only reason the boys obeyed was because they were curious about the boy Sarah was going to meet.

My cousin sisters were forced to switch to cotton saris, from silk, because Sarah was wearing a cotton sari and she was the one that was supposed to be in the limelight today. My cousins were expected to look pretty in case they caught someone’s eye.

Yeesh!

In the preceding days we had changed all the covers on the sofas and armchairs and washed and ironed all the curtains, and my father’s sisters’ (Sarojmama and Sarayumama) embroidered tablecloths from a 100 years ago were fished out and they looked like they were starched to their eyeballs. Plus the furniture had been repolished and unsightly pieces of furniture moved to other rooms. All the nest tables in the house were collected and stacked tastefully in the corners of the sitting room and the boys rearranged the furniture several times until Appachan was satisfied.

We were taken aback when several cars rolled into the courtyard. Some older couples and younger men entered and sat in the sitting room.

Our best cutlery, and some more from granduncle’s house next door, was stacked on the dining table and all the snacks were ready – all home cooked. There was water and milk on the boil, with my aunts tending to it.

I wanted to see if I knew the 'boy' and tried to push my way into the sitting room. There was a wall of smiling humanity crammed into the doorways of the dining room, the corridor and even of the study. I decided to push through like I did in the buses and trains in Mumbai. I spotted Sarayumama smiling at someone and poked her ample bare midriff with my index and middle fingers. She gasped and jumped to the side and I pushed through… only to enter a room that had just gone silent.

And there he was. Handsome. And smiling at me like we were best friends. I beamed back.

I felt a hand grab the scruff of my neck and another violently shove it away.

“Come here, mol. Meet my parents, grandparents and uncles and aunts,” Johnnychyan said. Sarah chechi was sitting next to him on the sofa, a wide space between them, her eyes focused on the floor and her face pink.

I tottered into the room, feeling drunk. It was Johnnycha! Johnnychayan was Sarah chechi’s suitor! No wonder he was so insistent on her returning home. I opened my mouth to say something, but heard a throat clear. It wasn’t my father who had cleared his throat, but he had that look that said ‘behave’.

Sarah’s mother Anniemama, seated nearby, murmured in her direction. Sarah stood up, moved towards the dining room and held out her hand to me, “Help me get the tea?”

I smiled again at Johnnychyan and followed Sarah. My cousins suddenly swarmed around us, piling the snacks on to serving plates and pouring the tea into the cups. Nina carried the tray of tea to the doorway of the dining room and handed it to Sarah. Suddenly my cousins felt shy, so someone pushed a tray laden with eats into my chest and several hands pushed me into the room.

I felt stricken with embarrassment. Traditional stereotypes were not for me. I wanted to dump the tray and disappear. But I inched forward uncomfortably. Sarah served the tea and I followed her while she served the guests snacks and placed their quarter plates on nest tables that Rajiv moved nearer the guests. When I was done, I stood next to my mother and watched.

After an eternity, the guests left. It appeared that things were sealed.

******

In the next few days, there was a quick engagement with only close family invited and a marriage date was debated and set.

Johnny returned to Mumbai almost immediately. The words I had retrieved from the crossword meant nothing – they were alphabets missing the words. And Sarah was let off the hook for most chores – but she had to prepare one traditional dish every day or prep the makings of others under Ammachi’s watchful eyes.

Sarah looked happy, but disappeared after her efforts in the kitchen. I was bursting with questions but was unable to get Sarah alone.

But, eventually, I discovered something else.

                                                            ******

This series is fictional and follows the narrator who is remembering events related to a family vacation in Kerala during her childhood. Her cousin Sarah is being forced to meet a suitor, but things end surprisingly. 

Read the entire The Webs We Weave series here FC69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94

Fishy Chronicles 78: The Webs We Weave (10) – Breaking point (cont'd)

Photo by A. Peter

For a few days (FC 77), Sarah chechi and I were cold to each other.

I took care to sit in her line of vision, nonchalantly looking out of the window and offering her a view of my side profile. Sometimes we’d make eye contact and she would move away quickly, her mouth tightening. After a while I didn’t take it personally because she refused to talk to any of her cousins, and when she was free of chores she disappeared.

I was angry with her for humiliating me publicly. I wanted to seek comfort from my parents, but they were likely to tick me off for being party to the girls giving Bobby the hiding of his life – even though I hadn’t touched a hair on his head. The more I thought of it, the more I felt I had asked for it.

In any case, I had no time to pfaff on narrow windowsills. Ammachi had given Sarah chechi and me more housework than the others. I was surprised when Sarah chechi buckled down to work, but some days I could see her blocking her father Georgiechyan’s path and talking heatedly.

My lack of clarity was cleared in snatches of my parents’ pre-bed time conversations. They usually talked and laughed when they thought I was asleep. I breathed evenly under my sheet, turned away from their bed, watching my parents’ shadows move against my wall – their shapes and movements difficult to decipher because of the shadow of a tree’s branches.

“Georgie is worried Sarah will do something silly,” Appa said of his oldest brother.

“Like what?” Amma said after a pause.

The bed creaked. I sensed my father trying to look at my mother in the dark. Appa said, “What has Annie chetathi* been saying to you?” Anniemama was Sarah chechi’s mother.

Amma sighed. “Sarah has been talking to Chetathi’s parents. They are not happy with her scuttling a marriage proposal, that’s why Sarah is still here.”

My father was silent. I was shocked. Sarah chechi going to her other grandparents’ home without informing the family or asking for permission was the ultimate act of disobedience.

“So, what are they planning to do?” Appa asked.

“Her grandparents have asked her to meet the boy, to talk to him. If she doesn’t like him they won’t press her.”

“Annie said that?”

“Ye-es.”

“But Georgie is like a bulldozer! Quiet and all, but won’t take no for an answer.”

“If she doesn’t like the boy, she can say no.”

“Hah!” Appa threw off his sheet and paced the floor close to the window. His shadow bobbed against the grills on my wall and then he stopped. He was leaning his head against the window’s bars.

Amma slid off the bed and joined Appa. “I’ve met the boy. We know everything about the family. They’re not poor – just less affluent than this family… it’s not going to matter to Sarah.” Amma’s shadow moved suddenly. They were in a complicated position.  It looked like she had Appa in a headlock – no, their heads were next to each other’s.

“We’re looking for someone good. Sarah should have a choice – choices that other girls are getting. A chance to study, work – a say in her life.” My father turned towards me and stared. I stared back at his shadow, holding my breath. “He may be just like every other guy – a chauvinist who won’t see how special Sarah is. A chauvinist who expects only a well-kept home and children.”

“Maybe.”

Their voices lowered and they whispered furiously. Then they went to bed. I felt frustrated at the way the conversation ended.

I waited to sleep, but couldn’t. So, finally, I sneaked out of the room. I sat on the red rexine sofa in the sitting room after moving it backwards so that it was hidden in the shadows of the sitting room. I listened to the noises of the night. There had been a burglary a few houses away a couple of nights ago. No one had known. What did it feel like to have an intruder creeping in and taking your things? Everyone had said that the family was lucky that only objects had been stolen and the family had been unharmed. I shivered and lay back to watch the moon.

******

I jumped up, my heart racing. Footsteps moved slowly – they were coming from the corridor. I slipped off the sofa and crouched next to the book case, gently moving the curtain over me.

I didn’t think it was my cousin Mobby. He had not been to visit Sonimol chechi for some days. I held my breath – it was Sarah chechi. She was in the old kurta she slept in and came forward hesitantly. I held myself as tightly as I could in a ball and squeezed my eyes shut. But nothing happened for a long time.

When I did peep around the curtain, the phone was in Sarah chechi’s lap and her hand on the receiver. After much thought, she lifted the receiver and began to press the buttons.

She seemed to know the number code Appachan (grandfather) used to lock the phone from unnecessary use – and to control his phone bills. The dial tone sounded in the clear silent night, but no one picked up. I felt suffocated by the dusty curtain, but my heartbeat pounded hard in my ears as I watched Chechi. She cut the line and tried again. And again. And again. Finally, she put the phone on the side table, crumpled over and began to cry.

When she had composed herself, she tapped the locking code into the phone and walked back to her parents room, dejection showing in every line of her body.

******

Roma was sitting on a low stool in the shade of a tree, sifting through a large quantity of raw rice on a rattan tray. Most of the girls were weeding or sweeping the area around the house that did not constitute the fields – almost two-thirds of a football field.

The girls were angry because Roma and Rita had escaped punishment, while the rest of us were given more chores – apparently to sear the gravity of our crimes into our souls for eternity. We believed their roles in Bobby’s hiding were ignored because Joychayan, their father, was our grandfather’s favourite son, and, hence, Joychayan’s children were Appachan’s favourite grandchildren.

It was what the adults felt too. If Appachan had to go to the market and choose between his grandsons, it was a given that Rajiv would be chosen. In a way, it assuaged some of my bitterness – at least, Mobby and Bobby weren’t Appachan’s favourites. It also meant Rajiv spent most of his time with his sisters and female cousins because the guys teased him mercilessly and left him out of their activities.

Today, Nina and Shyla were washing several buckets of clothing. Normally the clothes were washed by the servants. Over our last few vacations, Ammachi had begun to make the girls wash their own clothes. We had to know the A-Z of housekeeping and our mothers weren't teaching us enough, she told us often. But this week, we had been made to wash the entire household’s clothes in turns, despite our bitter protests. Roma and Rita were given light chores. Yesterday they disappeared for much of the day. When they appeared, Appachan asked them how the movie was and we realised Joychayan had taken his family out to watch a movie.

It stunned the rest of the family and there was a sudden silence in the room. This was unusual behaviour and there seemed to be a malaise seeping into the household. For once, I had nothing to say. My best friend Roma was a treacherous traitor. I fumed silently, but my cousins vented to their parents.

“You got away with murder,” Nina raged at Roma (see why here).

Roma flicked a small stone out of the rattan tray with her index finger, ignoring Nina. I was pulling out weeds in a corner of the yard and stopped to watch my cousins. Both Nina and Shyla threw the washing into the buckets and stood over Roma, shouting at the top of her head. Rita fled into the house. But there was no response from Roma and the finger continued to flick out impurities in the rice at a steady pace.

All of us stood dumb. The silence was broken when Ammachi came to the kitchen window and yelled at us to get back to work. When Ammachi disappeared, Nina began to pull out soapy clothes from one bucket and threw them into an empty bucket. She kicked the bucket under the tap and watched the water gush.

“What are you doing?” Shyla said.

“I’m rinsing them.”

“You haven’t scrubbed the clothes.”

“Who cares. I’m not going to wear them.”

“But, but, but… the dirt will show!”

“Not immediately.”

Shyla moved closer, whispered in Nina’s ear and glanced at Roma. Nina shrugged her shoulders, punched the soapy clothes a few times – ostensibly an effort at rinsing them – and let the water run out of the bucket. She looked up and summoned me with her index finger. She eyed the clothes and her gaze turned to the clothesline across the back yard. She wanted me to hang up the clothes. I took one shirt and squeezed. Suds oozed like a white waterfall. I looked up at Nina chechi, but she smiled and pointed at the clothesline.

“Just hang it up, mol,” Nina said. Don’t bother to squeeze out the water. Let’s see how long it takes to dry, she mouthed and grinned, pointing at Roma’s downturned head and giving me a thumbs up. Though her head was still down, Roma’s body was stiff. Her index finger had stopped moving.

At first I was bothered, but then I thought it was diabolical. Unless Roma squealed, it would take the family some time to realise how little cleaning their clothes got. I began to hang up the dripping clothes. During Kerala’s monsoon, and in our closed airless home, clothes usually took two days to dry in the store room. This was going to be longer now.

In about 10 minutes, Nina, Shyla and I put all the clothes on the clotheslines. One line broke a couple of times with the weight of the wet clothes and finally we draped some of the clothes on the sides of the well, weighing the clothes down with large rather muddy rocks.

******

Over the next few days, the girls practiced covert disobedience. We did all our chores quickly and, inevitably, badly. If reprimanded, we stayed quiet or admitted to our mistakes. At first, Ammachi looked at us suspiciously and our mothers gaped in disbelief, but as time went on Ammachi began to forget what she was angry at us for. But she got tired of the shoddy work, and the extra chores stopped. It amused our mothers, who watched but didn’t give inputs.

I did get lectures about insolence and how I would get my just desserts one day, but finally Amma let it go.

Sarah chechi didn’t start talking, but as the day of the meeting with her prospective suitor approached she fought with her parents. Everyone chose to stay silent and kept out of the way. She didn’t give me a look and it troubled me, because now my embarrassment had worn off and I really wanted to be in my cousin’s good books again.

After my parents went to bed, I lay awake. I looked at the clock on the table – 12.35am – I heard a door open. There was one very large room abutting both our and the Mathans room – Georgiechyan’s. These several weeks I had never heard anyone from that room come out at night, except for my uncle and aunt. 

I waited until the footsteps fell silent and as gently as possible opened my door. I nearly died of fright, closing the door immediately. I saw Sarah chechi pass, taking very slow steps. I had shut the door while she was turning around to look and stayed pressed against the wall near the hinges.

I almost pissed when the door started to inch open. It was too late to dive under my sheet, under which I had arranged two cushions. I held my breath, squeezing my eyes shut in terror. Just then my father coughed hard and turned on to his side, and the door jerked shut. I threw myself onto my bed and scampered under my sheet, curling and staying still. Sarah chechi ran back towards her room and the footsteps stopped. My father’s shadow sat up and refused to lie back down. After an eternity he did, and in a couple of minutes began to snore.

Sarah chechi began to move along the corridor again. When the footsteps passed, I lunged for the door and peeped out. Sarah chechi disappeared from view at the end of the corridor. I ran towards the street light coming through the sitting room’s windows. She slid back the bolts of the front door without a sound – the results of my earlier diligent efforts (FC 70).

Sarah chechi was carrying a knapsack over one shoulder and walking quickly to the gate. I watched numbly as she opened the gate. When she was on the road, I grabbed a pair of slippers strewn near the front door and tried to walk lightly over the gravel. Despite this, it sounded like someone was crushing glass in the still night air. Sarah chechi was now near the sagging portion of the barbed wire fence, further along Appachan’s property.

She slipped into the field and disappeared behind a tree. In a few minutes she reappeared and started hurrying back – minus her knapsack. Once on the road, she looked around and broke into a run towards the house. I removed my slippers and raced back into the house to my bedroom door and waited. I heard the crunch of the gravel outside and then Sarah chechi’s shadow rushed into view through the sitting room’s open doorway. She closed the front door, slipped the bolts back into place, and tiptoed back to her room.

* Chetathi means older brother’s wife in Malayalam.

– Stay tuned for more of Sarah in the next episode.

******

This fictional series follows the narrator who is remembering events that occurred during a family vacation in Kerala, India, in her childhood. The Webs We Weave series begins with episodes FC 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94

 

Fishy Chronicles 77: The Webs We Weave (9) – Breaking point (cont'd)

Photo credit: A. Peter

We sat in the shade of a large tree in my great uncle’s courtyard, the heat and sweat adding to our stress. The older girls discussed what had happened, explored explanations and excuses, raged at Bobby the Brute and then slipped into silence.

Strangely, I wasn’t too bothered. This was an average day for me, though I was pleased my cousins had given Bobby the hiding of his life. Not for a moment had he thought his sisters would have had the courage to set him straight and how! (FC76)

I went to the back of the house and scratched the goat’s head. I wondered why someone would name their goat Petty. One of Appachan’s older brother Kunjappachan’s grandchildren had named the goat, and had been too young to know what it meant. Aju called the goat Petty because it liked to be petted. It didn’t have a petty bone in its body. It was sweet and gentle and ate everything in sight, including money. Unusually, Kunjappachan once gave Sarayumama a cash gift and, after leaving her uncle’s house, stood out of sight of the windows to count his generosity.

The story goes that the resting goat got up, plucked one of the notes from Sarayumama’s hands and gobbled it up. It took her a couple of seconds to register what had happened before she screamed, dropped the rest of the notes, pounced on poor Petty and tried to pry its mouth open – which is like opening the jaws of an inert crocodile. Mathan Uncle was conflicted – help his wife retrieve a masticated note or pick up the money on the ground. He chose the latter because by then her cousins had come out of the house and pulled the goat away from Sarayumama. My aunt wailed so much that Kunjappachan gave her another note to replace the one she had lost.

I decided to go and see what was happening with Sarah chechi. “You stay right here,” Shyla said.

“Why?”

Nina and Shyla, my older cousins, looked at each other blankly and then Nina said, “Because we should all be together when we have to go back and face them,” she tilted her head to indicate my grandfather’s house.

“I’ll be there when you face them. I’ll just come from the other direction.” I began to walk away.

“Don’t let anyone know we’re here,” Shyla said when I reached the road.

“They’re going to know when Kunjappachan returns home,” I didn’t turn because the girls and their complaints jarred my senses.

Except for the occasional vehicle on the main road, there was no noise in the village. The only sounds were of birds talking to each other or sometimes, if you listened for it, the movement of the river’s water.

I slowed as I reached my grandfather’s house, all was silent. The front door was open and there were people in the sitting room. The silence felt suspicious.

I climbed into the field adjoining the house from a spot where the barbed wire sagged, I had seen the workers come in this way, and darted behind the trees and got into the compound through the side entrance. I hugged the walls and crept along until I was near the Mathans’ room, from which a great deal of noise was coming.

“Those girls! Ammachi, you’ve got to deal with them firmly,” Sarayumama said. Her voice shrill and somewhat hoarse. I swatted away the idea of her voice leaving her this vacation. So far I had only seen this happen in the movies. And with my aunt’s luck she and her voice would bounce back brilliantly.

Ammachi murmured soothingly. In the background Bobby groaned. I felt fear creep over me but still crept closer to the open window. Through the worn half curtain stretched across the bottom of the window, I could make out my cousin lying on his parents’ bed and people sitting or standing around him, the stance of their bodies serious.

I crept towards the front of the house, but lost my nerve, so I turned and ran to the kitchen and slowed. Sonimol chechi, our servant, usually sat on the steps during quiet moments. Today she was not sitting here. With all the girls absconding and Ammachi and her daughters bent over Bobby, Sonimol chechi was probably neck deep in work.

As I moved I wondered if I was being foolish and courting more trouble. If the family caught sight of me, they’d immediately brand me the leader of the pack because I had broken Bobby before and he had it in for me bad. I stopped at the study window. Only the neighbours next door would be able to see me, but my great uncle and his family were sitting in my house now. Through the trees on both properties, I could see my cousins standing and watching me.

I leaned against the cool wall and parked my bum on the narrow ledge that ran right around the house. There were low murmurs coming from the study. I pressed myself into the wall by the window.

“You have to get her married sometime. The family is not very well off, but the boy is smart and has a good job in Mumbai. He’s also bought a flat, that is what Ivachan said. And once she finishes her Masters, she can get a job. Nowadays everyone wants a working girl.”

I tried to peer through the curtains. I couldn’t figure out who my great uncle was talking to. Or about which cousin.

“She’s attracting a lot of attention. Kunjumol says she doesn’t do any housework and disappears when she’s told to do something. How can she just walk away like that!” Appachan said.

I held my breath. There were several people crowded in the room. A chair scraped the floor and one of the doors to the study closed with a click. “Bobby says she ordered the girls to run and locked all the doors.”

“Not exactly,” Appa said. “Bobby said some of the girls beat him and Nina and Sarah locked him in.”

“It’s the same thing!” Appachan shouted. He hated his children countering him and Appa had done more than his fair share of it. “I am sure your daughter had a big role to play in it. She’s becoming a mirror image of Sarah everyday.”

“Bobby didn’t mention her. And Sarah is a smart, sensible girl, brilliant and full of promise. You shouldn’t force her to marry and ruin her chances at life just because she wants different things in life.”

“Keep quiet! Let’s organise a meeting with the boy’s family as soon as possible. Georgie, you speak to your daughter. Make her understand she has to get married soon. Maybe all this nonsense will end. She is almost 24, old by today’s standards. She’s a bad influence on the girls. A marriage will set her right. It will set everything right. You’ll see.”

I waited for Georgiechyan’s rebuttal, but there was silence in the room.

Soon, the men started leaving the room.

                                                    ******

I stayed plastered to the wall, feeling repulsed by what I had heard. I felt a deep disappointment for my cousin Sarah.

Because my relatives perceived her as stubborn and given to new ideas, she was going to suffer for it. I thought of my father’s sister Sarojmama and wondered at the haste of her wedding. After her marriage, she had given up all plans to study further or even sit for the civil services exams, which is why she had wanted to go to Delhi in the first place. Or was it?

I roused myself and darted to the front gate. I heard someone shout, but sped down the road towards the junction. I wondered whether to tell Sarah chechi what I had heard. There was no knowing how she would react. Sometimes I was scared of her.

I slowed near the junction and groaned. My nosey second cousins, who lived opposite Kunjappachan, were stuffing their faces at the bakery and called out to me. I listened to their sarcastic chatter, but smiled and shrugged at their queries. The girl, Eenya, who had just begun college, said, “I saw Sarah chechi and some of the girls walking around the church compound. Is it someone’s birthday or death anniversary today?”

“No, Eenya chechi, they are just there to pray. I’m going to join them.”

I turned to run, but her brother Thomachan grabbed my upper arm to hold me still. “Wait. We heard a lot of shouting in the afternoon. What’s going on at the big house?” On a quiet day one could hear people quarreling in other houses. And if people stood in their courtyards, they could probably make out the gist of the argument. People usually stopped what they were doing to listen.

“There was a rat in the house, we beat it some but it escaped into one of the rooms. We don’t know where. No one wants to be in the house until it’s trapped.” I did consider Bobby a rat, and for sure Appa and Amma would consider my take on today’s happenings (FC76) a travesty of the truth – but then, who was ever going to know the truth.

“Uh-huh.” My cousins looked at me closely, but I held their gaze. Finally they nodded slowly.

I broke into a run, only slowing as I reached the tall gates of the church. The gates to heaven, Sarayumama once told me. There were some older men standing by the church offices, watching Sarah chechi and the girls. They were in the graveyard adjoining the church, walking over the graves in the crammed cemetery and reading out the names on the tombstones.

“Have you also come to check out the graves? Is it a city thing? Aren’t there any graveyards in Madras or Bombay*?” One of the men tossed at me, laughing at his friends. I didn’t know who he was, but for sure he knew my family.

I walked into the dark, cool church, light coming through the open doors and windows. I felt alone and free and at peace. I stood by the huge lamp hanging from the ceiling at the centre of the church and filled with holy oil. I prayed that only the best should happen to Sarah chechi. I dipped three fingers in the holy oil and drew a cross on my forehead.

Rita waved to me. She was holding Sarah chechi’s hand and they were leaning over a grave. I knew it was our grandfather’s grandmother’s grave. Some of her children and grandchildren were in the same grave and I sometimes wondered if they got out when it was quiet and played or talked. We stood on another grave to stare at the stone slab, reading again the names and years of births and deaths. It was a plain white slab that had grown in height over a century and a half. The original cross was cemented into the face of the grave.

“When are we going back, chechi?” I watched Eva, Tanya and Teena sitting together on a bench at the side of the church. Roma was lying on another bench, the only movement a hand fanning a newspaper over her face. She got up when she heard me and started walking over.

“If you’re bored you can go home,” Sarah chechi said. I didn’t care for the sarcasm.

“What about the others?”

“They’ll probably go home when they get the courage… or hungry,” she looked up and grinned.

“Aren’t you scared, chechi?” Rita said.

“Of what, baba?”

“Of what they’ll do to us. We beat Bobby and they will punish us for it.”

“Okay, and then what? Do you think they’ll beat us?”

“Er… n-no.”

“Shout at us?”

“Of course.”

“Isn’t that what they do every day? So they’ll shout louder and try to make you more scared.”

“But aren’t you afraid?” Rita persisted.

Sarah chechi shrugged her shoulders and laughed, all her perfect teeth showing. Her face was pink from the heat and she looked beautiful. “No.”

“So why didn’t you stay back to face them?” I asked, irritated by her nonchalance.

She grinned even more, “Felt scared, for sure, but I wanted some peace of mind too.” She started jumping across the graves again.

Roma and I turned to look at the young men who had just entered the compound. They glanced at us and went into the church. One man lingered near the entrance, looking at us, and then joined his friends.

                                                               ******

He waited until the rest of the girls had gone ahead and joined Sarah chechi who was walking slowly.

“Which of your cousins is that?” I heard the deep voice say. I shivered.

“One of my Bombay cousins. Hey, you, come here, slow coach,” Sarah chechi said and I hurried to her.

“Say hello to Johnny,” I shook hands with him and he laughed. He was dark and tall and quite good looking. “He’s Thomachan’s friend.”

I nodded. Sarah chechi pointedly looked at the group at the end of the road, and tilted her head towards them, telling me to be gone. I started walking reluctantly towards my cousins. I turned to look and Johnny waved. I waved back. I waited at the end of the road and watched the two say goodbye. Johnny walked the other way and disappeared.

                                                             ******

At the house, the girls disappeared around the back of the house to enter it through the kitchen. Sarah chechi scowled at them but walked in through the open front door. I, with Rita and Roma clutching my hands, followed.

The family – with a variety of expressions on their faces – was arranged in the front room. I was surprised at the looks of sympathy from some of the older women and men, but felt fear bubble up at the rage on Sarayumama’s face. Surprisingly, Kunjappachan was still at our house. And he had a warm smile on his face.

And then we saw Bobby, in the middle of the large red rexine sofa, propped up by his father and brother Mobby. He shifted position and let out a low groan.

“Look what you did to my son!” Sarayumama shouted. “You beat him, you junglees, where do you learn these things from!” she tossed a disparaging look at her sisters-in-law, who looked back at her stonily. “Well?” She screamed at Sarah chechi.

There was pin drop silence. She came closer and screeched into our ears, “Nothing to say?” Rita, Roma and I lowered our heads to avoid looking at her. “Aren’t you going to put some sense into your daughters’ heads? Are they going to go about bashing up boys and behaving like they aren’t from good families.”

Kunjappachan made a tutting sound. “Now, now, mol. I’m sure they will get a talking to.”

“Not good enough!”

“It will do for now,” Appachan said coldly.

“B-But…”

Bobby made a snivelling sound. And Sarayumama leaped at us. She grabbed Sarah chechi’s arms and tried to shake her, but Sarah chechi looked our aunt in the eyes calmly and stayed still. Sarayumama, much shorter than her niece, shook vainly instead.

Sarayumama let Sarah chechi go. A cunning look replaced the angry one. “Don’t worry, mol. A marriage will fix your stubborn temper for good. And sooner than you think.”

Sarah chechi’s eyes widened and her mouth opened, but closed immediately.

Sarayumama continued watching her niece gleefully. “What a pity your sister is hiding in the US, else both of you would have been sorted by now. You girls don’t have any manners.”

“Don’t talk about my daughters that way! Things will fall in place when they have to,” Georgiechyan said gruffly. He stepped forward and stood between his oldest daughter and sister, forcing both to move backwards. “Go to your rooms, children. The elders will talk to you about what happened.”

Sarayumama stood with her arms spread wide, blocking our way. “That’s it? That’s all? They brutalise my son and get away scot free?”

“If he had manners and learnt how to respect women, no one would have laid a finger on him,” Nina said from the dining room doorway.

Sarayumama ran to her and managed to beat my cousin a couple of times before Nina was pulled away by my aunts. Nina began to cry and there was sudden uproar.

The children and adults were screaming and shouting at the same time and Kunjappachan and my grandparents looked aghast at what had just happened.

“Quiet!” Appachan shouted. “Stop hitting the girls. We won’t talk about this now. Control yourself, Sarayu!”

“B-but…” the sound died in my aunt’s throat. For once my aunt couldn’t find her voice. There were angry looks from the rest of the room and some of the elders blocked the dining room entrance. From the dining room, we heard Nina crying and we pushed towards her.

This wasn’t the end of the matter. There would be an inquisition. My parents were glaring at me and I could feel my spirit, so far strong, wilt.

                                                             ****** 

Kunjappachan left after evening tea. His jokes and chatter loosened his brother. We girls first hid in the dining room and later moved into various corners of the house, answering the boys questions and then discussing plausible responses to any of Appachan’s questions between ourselves.

“What’s wrong with telling Appachan the truth?” Sarah chechi said sarcastically.

“He won’t believe us,” Shyla said.

“So what? You know he won’t. So why waste your time cooking up alternatives. Tell the truth and get it over with.”

“Did you see how Sarayumama beat me!” Nina raged.

“Why did you let her? You’re an adult, why did you let her touch you. She’s half your size, by the way. You could have pushed her away or pinned down her hands.”

“I-I didn’t think… besides the rest of them would have turned on me!”

“You don’t know that. And Sarayumama has a screw loose anyway.” There was silence and then a chuckle echoed around the room.

“You can’t say that,” Nina said, weakly, smiling.

But Sarah chechi had lost interest. Her father’s head appeared at the doorway. “You girls are wanted in Appachan’s study,” Georgiechyan smiled kindly.

We filed out of his bedroom and were walking towards Appachan’s study when I heard Sarah chechi ask, “What was that bit about my marriage?”

“Later.”

“What?”

I turned to look. Sarah chechi had grabbed her father’s arms, was leaning into his face and murmuring furiously, but Georgiechyan did not respond. He pushed his daughter forward. I held out my hand, and after a couple of seconds of hesitation, Sarah chechi took it. Her face was angry.

                                                             ******

As Sarah chechi had predicted, Appachan didn’t believe a word we said. It wasn’t anything he said, but his coldness all through. Worse, he let Bobby and the others sit in and we were interrupted often. Sarah chechi looked at the others calmly and refused to be drawn in. Only because our parents were present were we saved from a thrashing. 

We were soon told to leave. My aunt and grandmother smirked and laughed, telling us we deserved it. I wondered what “it” was. The study door closed with Appachan, Sarah chechi’s parents and my father and his brothers.

After everyone left the dining room, I returned to the closed study door, feeling fearful. I heard snatches of the conversation. Appachan spoke about a boy coming to meet Sarah. He had good prospects, he lived in Bombay. Plus he was highly recommended by Kunjappachan.

Sarah chechi declined politely, citing further studies and job prospects. At this point my grandfather shouted at her, telling her she had no choice in the matter. I felt a cold wet hand on the back of my neck and a ladle sting the back of my legs. I screamed when Ammachi started hitting me harder, trying to twist myself out of her grip. The study door flew open and Sarah chechi yanked my grandmother’s hand off my neck, pulled the large stainless-steel ladle out of her hand and threw it across the dining table. She dragged me away and let go of me in the corridor.

“Why do you have to sneak about! Why? Why can’t you be a normal kid and be silly and foolish and girly, like, like, like…” she pointed, frustrated, at my cousins watching us from a corner of the sitting room.

I felt my face on fire. I stayed quiet, unable to think of anything. Sarah chechi pushed me away from her and stomped off to her parents’ room and locked the door.

I stayed still against the wall until my parents took me to our room. We didn’t speak that night. Nor did anyone speak at dinner time. 

                                                             ******

* Madras is now Chennai and Bombay is Mumbai

This is The Webs We Weave (FC69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93. 94) series and is about events that occur during the narrator's childhood family vacation in Kerala, India. 

Please note that this is a work of fiction.