Fishy Chronicles 36: It's Complicated

Dear Diary,

What a mess the last three days have been.

I fought with Ashok, Arief and Nidhi a number of times. We never seemed to get off on the right foot.

Eva patched up with Ashok, making all the uncles and aunties happy. Ashok and Arief seem like brothers from different mothers. Nidhi and Arief seem to be an item, but Roma and I are not sure. Arief is always around to give Nidhi a hand with steps and things. I don't understand why she didn't use the pristine white running shoes she brought with her - she has pock-marked Pretty Villa Hotel's lovely garden with her stilettos. A couple of days ago her stilettos wedged themselves deep into a wet portion of the garden and it was funny watching her kneel to pull out both heels. For some reason Arief was looking elsewhere then and Uncle looked exasperated. Some news article soon caught his attention. Truth be told, just watching us must have been like a high-speed police chase drama. The oldies watched us all the time.

While pfaffing about at tea today, I impulsively invited Ashok and Eva for appams and stew. Arief cleared his throat and I felt cornered. So I asked him home too. In a minute, Aditya stood in front of me and Roma told me that she and the boys were turning up as well.

I felt someone stare at me. I tried to ignore Nidhi until Genie murmured into my ear that I was being rude. If anything, he said, I could watch a new romance ferment (his words) over appams. I was surprised at the speed of Nidhi's assent.

On the drive to Mumbai from Lonavala, I did the sums - the number of cups of rice and coconut milk I'd need for the appams. Would my old/young yeast cooperate? I wrote the math on the back of a toll challan. Arief and Ashok ate like sparrows - they worked out and watched their weight, Eva said. Nidhi needed to balance on chopsticks, making her Starving Sparrow No. 3. If Georgy followed Roma, more worried about Genie's influence on her, he'd make Sparrow No. 4. The boys would eat like one hungry full-grown man. I made no allowances for Eva. It was doubtful she ate - being on a diet perpetually. 

With that done, I started thinking of the tattered recipe book I was trying to mend - my mother's and her mother's.

"Why don't you put out some of those recipes in a book," Genie loudly interrupted my thoughts. The car's windows were down and we were enjoying the breeze through our hair. 

"Done to death," I said in a guttural voice, trying to imitate Genie's deep voice. 

He didn't notice. "Plus anecdotes."

"I don't know any."

"Sure you do. Remember that recipe your granny taught you - you said you had to soak the ingredients several weeks for the liquor to give all the nuts a kick?"

My words exactly. "I think you're referring to the Christmas rum cake. My great grandmother taught me that family recipe when I was eight and keen to bake. I even wrote it down with her and my mother's help." And that fragile, lined piece of paper was in my mother's recipe book, tattered but full of Great Granny-Mummy love.

"And she told you not to share it with anyone."

"Yes." I thought of my poor great grandmother. Her daughter-in-law, my grandmother, had hated her and I once heard my granny tell someone that she hoped my great gran would die fast. Luckily, my great gran lived another 15 years and died just short of 100 years. 

My unhappy gran moved to the US to take care of my uncle's family, learnt to wear pants and play bingo. She returned to India eventually, to another son and daughter-in-law, and steadfastly remained unhappy.

I took another challan and jotted cooking instructions to myself. I started when Genie shouted over the noisy breeze, "What do you think?"

"Of what?"

"The book idea."

"It's a good idea. I have to fix Mama's recipe book. Something might come to me."

Who knows, something might come of it. On that note, and conversations reproduced almost verbatim, I shall end my journal writing for tonight.

                                         ******

This is a fictional series about Fish who return to their former owner - the narrator. They are joined by her former manservant, and now friend, Genie.  

They return from a tense holiday with the narrator's relatives. Fish lay some rules and issue the narrator an ultimatum. 

                                         ******
At home I fixed a khichdi for Genie and I. Nobby went off to suck blood in Peaceful Society and Fish settled down to their garlic-liver-shrimp meal.

After dinner, Genie stretched out on the divan to look out of the window at the stars in the sky. I soon dozed off on the sofa. 

The voices woke me. Genie was breathing evenly and seemed to be asleep. There seemed to be an argument, or maybe loud conversation, going on in the tank.

"... Arief... Nidhi..."

"Roma... cigarettes... Georgy..."

"... ******* bad influence..."

I struggled to hear without moving. Clearly Fish thought I was sleeping. 

"She needs to steer clear of that lot. Especially Nidhi! And she's gone and shot off her mouth and invited Nidhi home!" Penaaz almost shouted. I tried to stay calm and concentrate on breathing slow.

"Nidhi will come here and look down her nose at everything. We've got to tell Genie to tell her to hide the heirlooms - she'd never listen if we said so!" Pervez said of me. 

"The heirlooms are classy. Elevate the home. They should stay where they are," Gregory said. The heirlooms they were referring to were a couple of very large brass uralis (wide-mouthed shallow vessels) that were more than a 150 years old. One was my great grandmother's and the other my grandmother's, both gifts to my mother. These days Genie filled them with flowers or potpourri.

Dimitri's voice distracted me. "Maybe things may thaw between them," he said of Nidhi and me.

"Hah!" Gregory snorted, "That will be the day. And I don't know what Arief is playing at! One moment he's playing hopscotch with Sleeping Beauty here and in the next he's canoodling with Nidhi!"

I laughed before I could stop myself. 

"Really!" Penaaz said annoyed. "If you're awake you might as well join us. We're talking about you!"

"You've got to stop mixing with people bad for you," Portas said. 

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You had a rotten time in Lonavala, yet you've invited that bilious lot home for more punishment."

"Don't you think you're being harsh? I mean we became friendly toward the end. And Ashok is married to my cousin and he's good fun."

"There was drama and you were unnecessarily wrung out by it all!" Penaaz said angrily.

That was true. I had been out of my element with a group that thought they were superior. And I had rubbed them all the wrong way and not been apologetic - or so Eva tried to tell me. Plus, at tea, loosened by the snacks and banter, Ashok had teased me about how we were related and that he still hadn't eaten a meal I had prepared. 

"It's not a bad thing - inviting my cousins over for a meal. Long overdue, I think. Besides, I like Ashok."

"Yes, yes, but think of the consequences. They'll make mincemeat out of you. By the way, you should make a beef stew," Penaaz said.

"What are you expecting to happen?" I asked.

"Trauma... for all of us," she said with unnecessary theatrics.

I laughed and then stopped. Fish were serious. They shared a point. I liked Ashok and Arief. I thought it a cosmic joke that Arief would turn up in Lonavala as Eva's boyfriend and walk smack bang into his friend and Eva's then-estranged husband Ashok. And look how things turned out - Arief and Ashok rekindled their friendship and Arief couldn't back away from Eva fast enough.

"And Nidhi?" Penaaz prodded, when I had stayed silent too long.

"I don't know what her problem is. I'm surprised she wants to come."

"If she's rude to you again, she's out of our lives forever!" Gregory said, trying to loosen his bow tie and adjust his glasses at the same time. Now his tie was askew and his glasses were on the tank's floor. 

"Or at least lose her at sea," Portas said.

"Just drown her," Penaaz said forcefully. 

"I'll try," I said, "to set things right." I turned to look at the divan. Genie was now on his side, his head propped up on his elbow, listening to our conversation. "What do you think, Genie?"

He got up and joined me on the sofa, stretching his legs out. "This should be her last chance." He held my hand and absently tapped my knuckles with his forefinger, making a point. "You shouldn't let people disrespect you constantly. It means they don't care... and nothing good comes of putting up with it."

I nodded. I never seemed to learn. Now I had to gather my tender heart and guard it with my life. Nidhi had a choice - she was going to stay in, or out forever.

Fishy Chronicles 31: Kiss And Make Up

I watched Roma's children run ahead in the small tree-lined lane in Lonavala. Roma was some way ahead, walking and talking with Genie, who was wheeling along the fish tank.

Beside me walked Arief, the unsuspecting friend of my, until this morning, estranged married cousins Eva and Ashok. I had messed Arief about in the morning with a well-aimed table tennis ball, run out of the hotel, been dragged back to Pretty Villa Hotel by Roma's cousin-in-law Ashok and had a massive war of words with him. Plus, I may have ticked off a few people, who subsequently played football with my things in my hotel room. I blame Ashok's sister Nidhi, with whom I had been sharing the room, though now I think it could have been anybody.

The narrator does her best to burn her bridges with the family on their trip to Lonavala... and almost succeeds.  

Only Arief, a family guest and unwitting victim of family tensions, insists on setting right their status quo. One gesture sends their equation into an immediate skid.

"You owe me an apology," Arief said.

I stopped in my tracks. In my mind I had apologised profusely - not preserving an iota of my dignity. Then I had left Pretty Villa Hotel with my baggage and posse and my cousin Roma, her kids and Arief had tagged along. "Is that why you followed me out?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what exactly."

"I think we haven't made up properly."

"Really? I apologised from the inner recesses of my recesses and it felt like I grovelled and dug a hole and buried myself. The only thing I didn't do was prostrate in front of you... it didn't occur to me!"

Arief's head tipped back and he laughed. He didn't sound like a man still nursing a grudge against a violent, loony, rival table tennis player. "Right. I meant kissing and making up."

"Right. That's all that's left, kissing," I said sarcastically. "We've already made up, and I have witnesses... though many are likely to turn hostile if put to the test..." I looked up, feeling grumpy that my day was slowly losing its fine wintry Lonavala charm. The sun went dark and I felt a pair of warm, damp lips on my mouth. I felt deep shock radiate through me and my cheeks, forehead and neck ignited. I looked frantically at Roma and Genie. They were still walking and talking.

I spluttered. "What the fig!" Arief's head bent threateningly again and I leapt back in fright. But I felt... I pulled my sweater away from my neck, feeling unbearably hot and sped to the side of the road. Idiot, go back, I heard a voice telling me. The voice seemed to be mine. Arief was grinning at me broadly, amused. He held out his arm and tilted his head toward the road ahead and nodded. "All good now. Come along."

I stayed on my side of the road and walked shakily, trying to hug the dew-damp walls lining the narrow road.

I was breathing too fast and tried to slow it. What had just happened. Shit! Fish were now at the back of the tank, watching. Nothing escaped them. BUT WHAT THE EFFF!

"Come on! You're acting ridiculous trying to walk through the walls. The other two will turn around any moment and you'll have to explain why," Arief laughed.

That got me to the middle of the lane. Arief held out his arm again. I looked away. He came closer and put his arm around my neck in a swift movement. I struggled to break free, feeling panic. "Don't shout. We'll have to explain what happened and I'm not inclined to lie," Arief said, still smiling.

"What are you playing at?! This morning it was Eva and now you're making a move on me?!"

"Tut, tut. I was never with Eva. At least I was interested in her until I landed here yesterday and discovered she's married to Ashok, who, by the way, is an old friend."

"If he's an old friend how come you didn't know he's married to Eva!"

"I agree. We're work friends. A drink here, and occasional guys night out. We lost touch some years ago, but I was uncomfortable with us being here in the middle of a family holiday and Ashok watching."

"So why didn't you just leave?"

"Felt awkward. And it felt like running away."

"So what's this kiss about?"

Arief grinned and took off his arm from around my neck. He put my arm through his and clamped it to his side.

"Let go, Arief."

"Why?"

I didn't answer. Fish were squashed against the back of the tank, trying to get their best views.

"You think Genie will get pissed off?" Arief's breath shifted some of the strands of hair off my forehead. His face was too close to mine.

"He won't like you manhandling me, for sure," I mumbled, unnerved by Arief looming in my face.

"Reallllyyy," Arief chuckled. "He doesn't seem possessive. Though for some reason everyone seems to think you guys are a pair."

"Yes. A great big bunch of idiots they are. I'm surprised you're not thinking that way," I looked up nervously. But Arief was looking at Genie, a very strange thoughtful look on his face. I tried freeing my arm, but it was still in a solid grip.

"And Genie seems as devoted to your fish as you are. Strange," he said.

"Er, why is it strange?"

"Doesn't fit in with his macho image."

"He's got a very tender side." Arief laughed and I bristled. "What's funny?"

"Did you know Mr Poonawala always brought his fish to work?"

Yes. "No."

"Your ex knew."

"My ex?" all my excitement withered away.

"Who died?" Arief said.

"What?"

"You went cold. What happened?"

"We're talking about my ex. I don't know what else could kill a conversation faster." I started to pull my arm out of his, but Arief didn't let go.

"How did you guys get the fish? Everyone at the agency wondered."

"I don't know."

"You're lying!"

"Mr P gave them to my ex. Willed them to him. There was an understanding between them. He'd asked me to care for them a few times, so my ex and I went to Mr P's place and he walked us through their routine."

"Why?"

"His pets had all died. He felt it was only a matter of time when he would too. Uncle wanted someone to care for Fish and we didn't mind." The first time he had invited me into his office, Nigel Poonawala only had Fish in their tank next to his massive rosewood table and plenty of pictures of his dead, but much loved, pets. I could talk about Uncle Nigel now. Fish had never been a secret.

But I felt ill, the old memories squeezing my heart unbearably. The first time we met, Uncle Nigel and I had bonded instantly. Maybe it was that way when you liked animals. It had taken a few visits for Fish to be comfortable with me. By then I was married. Considering how he never took care of Fish while they were in our care, I didn't understand my ex's fascination for them or his need to covet them. Certainly Fish never warmed up to him, or talked to him. For a strange reason Uncle Nigel had never seen through my ex. Neither had I, until it was too late.

"You still don't say his name," Arief said.

"Whose?" 

"Your husband's."

"We're divorced. I'm entitled not to sully my being by saying his name."

"That seems harsh."

"Yet it is true. And he lives and continues to blight humanity with his existence."

"At this rate, you'll never get a boyfriend."

I laughed. It was at once incongruous and the truth. Eventually every boyfriend had seemed a reflection of my ex. Somewhere it was written into my genes that I needed to be treated badly and bent out of shape. "I'm definitely not looking." That was a lie. I was always hopeful, but Arief didn't need to know.

"Why do you talk to the fish so much? Surely they're unlikely to understand."

I shrugged. I was in another world when I was with them. Uncle Nigel and my parents had been too. No one was going to understand my feelings for them or how they stimulated me.

I saw Genie turn and his eyes caught mine. His eyes took in Arief and our intertwined arms and he turned away again. 

No one would understand, except Genie.

Fishy Chronicles 29: Bad Made Worse

I woke up with a start.

Eva was talking in her sleep. I could see light streaming in through the windows and Fish looking fed up. They were massed on the couch in the tank, with ear plugs and ear phones, either trying to block the sounds from the beds or drown them with music. 

My watch said 5.45am and I could see the sky lightening. I got up, took my towel and went for a bath.

"Wait!" Penaaz swam to the top of the tank. I went closer. "I just realised we could have slept in the bathtub and closed the bathroom door."

"That's not a bad idea. Though I think my body would be crooked forever."

Bath over I messaged Genie if he wanted to have morning tea with me. I wheeled the tank out of the hotel room door and Fish let out a torrent when they saw Genie. 

"You won't believe the hell we've been through..."

"An evil, evil business..."

"It was like being tied to a hyena in constant pain..."

"They need to be put down..."

"... need their oesophaguses checked..."

Genie crouched on his haunches to listen to Fish. "Check their oesophaguses... why?"

Gregory pushed the others aside and filled his chest. "Hideous, guttural moaning all through the night! It was violent, unadulterated torture!"

Genie grinned. "Well, you'll have to get used to it. There's no way out."

Penaaz shoved Gregory aside, "Can't we move in with you, Genie?" she begged piteously. I was surprised at her. Eva and Nidhi must have traumatised them. I had been dog tired and slept immediately and deeply. I suspect that was why Fish were annoyed with me and sucking up to Genie now.

"You're stuck, I'm afraid. The guys snore too."

I tried to keep from smiling. But my amusement died soon. Only if I ran around Lonavala's perimeter, played table tennis like crazy and swam 50 laps might I pass out at night and stay comatose. Tonight seemed a grim business.

                                           ******

This is a fictional series about the narrator, her former manservant and now friend, and former pet fish. They have followed the narrator on a holiday with her relatives and have spent a miserable night with roommates from hell. Though she brushes off the previous night's irritations, the narrator is headed for more trouble.

                                           ******

At nearly 10am, and because Georgy, his mother and Ashok banged their door, the two women came down to the dining room for breakfast. Almost all the food was over and the hotel staff shrugged their shoulders. They did offer to get sandwiches for the two women.

But Uncle had other ideas. "They will eat what is available. Tomorrow they'll set an alarm and come on time for breakfast," he said coldly and shook out his newspaper. He was stretched out on a stately hardwood armchair, similar to the teak wood ones we had at our home in Kerala. 

So Eva and Nidhi ate cold soggy toast, relieved by the taste of butter and marmalade. Arief, Ashok and I played table tennis and when Eva was near me, I grabbed her arm and pushed a bat into her hand.

"Hey!" Nidhi said. I didn't understand the affinity Nidhi was showing her sister-in-law, my cousin, Eva.

"Give Nidhi a bat someone," I said. Nidhi hated sweat. I had never seen her run and right now, even on holiday, she tottered about ramrod straight on a pair of stilettos. I felt like whacking her, but it was not lost on me how much interest the men were taking in her. Ashok, pushed his bat into his sister's hand and muscled her into place at the table with Arief.

Arief looked at Nidhi's feet, "Are you sure you'll be able to run in those?" he smiled, all sexy and gooey. She opened her mouth defensively, but with the warmth of Arief's gaze she soon slipped off her sandals daintily, making a great show of it. I could see my no-nonsense uncle and the other conservative Syrian Christian elders watching it all. 

I hit the ball to their side of the table and it bounced and shot past Nidhi's ear, making her drop her bat in fright. Even though I nonchalantly fiddled with my table tennis bat - like tennis professionals did while concentrating but secretly plotting the routing of their rivals - I could feel my uncle glaring at me. I wondered why Nidhi's parents hadn’t stopped with Ashok and whether they knew about family planning then, but...

"Ouch! Asshole!” I glared at Arief. He’d served and the ball had smacked and bounced off my collarbone. I dropped my bat and grabbed the stinging portion of flesh and bone, feeling an absolute fool. The goat was looking at and fiddling with his bat. People laughed. I glared at those assembled. Genie grinned and Fish watched with interest.

Some people moved closer to the table and when Arief looked away I served. It hit him under his chin. He glared at me while rubbing his chin. I could see Ashok and Genie move nearer to me, on either side. Now I felt some panic. 

“That was unnecessary,” said Mr Hot Uncool Guy from across the table. 

“Yes. My aim was really off.” I moved to my left, shouldering a bewildered Georgy into my place, to avoid having to deal with Arief's next volley. Nidhi looked at me witheringly. In response, I said, “You think you’ll be able to run without your stilettos, Nids?”

“My name is NID-H-E-E.”

“We’ll make sure we win the game,” Arief butted in.

“At this pace I won’t make it to the Wimbledon finals,” I said.

“Unlikely you’ll even get a wild card or be allowed to step on the grounds. You're too much of a kook to be taken seriously.”

I could only suck in my breath in shock at his rudeness. I felt worse at the burst of laughter around me and felt the burn of humiliation. My eyes filled.

“That’s enough, you two!” Ashok said, bewildered and upset. I could feel Genie's arm around my shoulder and angry cries from the tank. I couldn’t bear to look at anyone. I put my bat down and walked slowly out of the hotel. 

I could hear Roma's raised voice. But I didn’t care, I sprinted out into the road as soon as I was out of sight of the door. What a huge mistake I'd made coming here. With people I didn’t care for, always making up someone's numbers and being an idiot and overdoing the pettiness. I felt foolish and ashamed of myself. 

“Quit the pity party,” I heard Aunty Glory say. “You asked for it,” was probably what my dad would have said. “He could have done it better,” my mom would have said. Or, in this instance, “You deserved it.”

I heard him before I saw him. Nobby, my mosquito friend, sat at eye level on a leaf of a bush. I was sitting on a bench in the garden of another hotel. It would take the hotel's staff a while to discover me and longer to figure out I wasn't a guest.  

“Are you okay?” Nobby asked. He didn’t attempt to sit on me or hover.

“Yes.”

“Your nose is red.”

“Okay.”

“Why were you so rude to Arief and Nidhi?”

I opened my mouth to defend myself but I couldn’t. I’d just been rotten to both for no reason. I shook my head and hunched. I couldn’t look at him.

“You know, Fish shouted at me to bite Arief. When I didn’t they threw water out of the tank. But worse, everyone’s upset and your rudeness has spoiled the holiday atmosphere.”

I nodded, tears spilling. I’d been an idiot, with my antagonism for Nidhi getting the better of me. I felt inferior sometimes, the way she looked down on me and never had a nice thing to say to me. Still, spitefulness had not been the solution. 

My phone rang. It was Roma. After several rings I picked up. She gave me an earful and ordered me to return to Pretty Villa. 

“N-No, Roma. Not just now. I’m going to the market. I’ll be back later.” I cut the line before she could reply and didn’t pick up her call again. I was a fool through and through. I didn’t have any money in my pockets, but I was damned if I was going to go back to the hotel now.

                                             ******

Fishy Chronicles 28: Noises In The Dark

I tapped the door several times, harder each time.

"Maybe they've gone somewhere," Ashok said. My new found table tennis buddies - Georgy, his cousin Ashok, Roma and her kids, and Arief and Genie were massed behind me in the hotel's corridor. I'd spent most of the evening and night playing table tennis and cards with them and now we were all reluctantly going to bed. I looked at my watch. It was past 1am. 

Roma slapped her hand against the doorbell and held it down for several seconds. Georgy pulled her hand off the bell and glared at his wife. My darling cousin was in an excellent mood, her beautiful black hair sticking up in places, some wisps stuck to her pink, sweaty face. She beamed at Georgy. 

I heard the bolts of the door being opened with violence. A wild-eyed Nidhi glared at me. She opened her mouth to say something - rude, I assumed - when she stopped and became wary. Her eyes were fixed on the person behind me. When I turned, I could see Genie looking coolly at Nidhi. 

She turned and marched back into the room. I waved at the others and walked in. My bag, previously on one of the two single beds, was now on the ground. There was a lone made-up mattress on the floor in a corner of the room. My cousin Eva was fast asleep and her sister-in-law Nidhi was giving me a smug look. She switched off the light, leaving me in the dark and disoriented. Bitch.

I switched on my mobile phone torch and looked at Fish. Gregory was reading a book, Penaaz was curled on the couch in their tank, hugging a cushion and watching a movie on Netflix, and Dimitri, Portas and Pervez were waiting for me.

"Well?" Portas asked.

"What did you do after dinner? Nidhi cribbed about you to Eva and finally Eva disappeared into the bathroom for a very long bath. Why did you stay away for so long?" Pervez said, unusually chatty.

I gestured at Nidhi and Eva with my phone torch. Nidhi was trying to glare at me in the semi dark. I switched on a small lamp.

"Switch off the light, I can't sleep!" Nidhi hissed.

I flashed my torchlight into her eyes. "What?" I asked innocently. Why did she bother me so much. Still I kept the light flashing into her eyes and then when she opened her mouth to scream, I switched it off. "Oops, Nidhi. Didn't mean to do that. Let me keep this lamp switched on for a bit, else it would have to be the torch. That would be too bright for you."

"Hmph!" the malignant lump in the middle of the single bed said. She had covered herself up tightly with her sheet and blocked me out. Good riddance. I turned to Fish.

"I played table tennis and cards with the cool ones. Luckily all the oldies and Roma's in laws went to bed early."

"Arief, Ashok's friend?"

"When he's not knocking the glass walls of a fish tank Arief can be surprisingly charming. Georgy was properly concerned he had a competitor."

Fish snickered and then laughed. "Poor Georgy."

Poor Georgy, indeed. He'd never notice even if a handsome prince on a white stallion plucked Roma off the ground and carried her off. He even needed Roma to serve him food. Though Roma chafed, she did as she was bid. She was married to the goat and fond of him. Who knew why.

"I'm never going to marry anyone like him," Eva told one of our cousins in shock when she met Georgy for the first time. But strangely it was Georgy who was pestering Ashok and Eva to give their marriage a second chance.

"What plans for tomorrow?" Portas asked.

"We're going to have a good breakfast and head out for a long walk."

"Okay."

"I meant the young and limber hoomans."

"We know. We're going off with Genie to the market," Portas showed me his middle fin and he and Pervez turned their backs on me.

"I'm with you, Hon," Dimitri smiled. He pulled himself half out of the tank. I kissed his head and he slipped back into the water.

"Y-Y-You're disgusting! Kissing dirty fish. I've seen it all now!" Nidhi spluttered from her bed.

"I know. I'm so glad. Now go to sleep, or I won't wake you for breakfast." Before she could say anything I switched off the light and the room went dark.

I heard Nidhi toss angrily in her bed. Good. Her rage would keep her awake some.

Me, I was going to dream of my handsome table tennis partners. Tomorrow promised to be fun - even with the threat of Nidhi's company.

                                   ******

This is a fictional series about the 30-something narrator, Fish - her former pets, and Genie - her former manservant and now friend.  

They are following her on a family holiday with her uncomfortable relatives and her cousin Roma's in laws. She is forced to share a room with her cousin Eva and Eva's sister-in-law Nidhi. The narrator tries to stay out of their line of vision for as long as possible, but some things are not meant to be.

                                    ******

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" 

I could feel water spatter on me but it was unsuccessful in rousing the two snorers - Eva and Nidhi. I had wondered if snoring was one of the troubles besetting Eva's and Ashok's union. Nah. People could live through snoring - they found ways. Besides, how did one convince a judge that a spouse's snoring was reasonable grounds to end a marriage.

Water hit me again. "Stop it, you! It's not me snoring. It's those two in the beds. Can't you hear the racket from there!" I waved my arms at where the snoring was coming from in the almost dark - a sliver of moonlight mixed with tubelight crept through the gap the curtains had missed, making for some visibility.

Penaaz was leaning out of the tank in agitation, "Stuff something in their mouths!"

"It might kill them."

"Good riddance!" Gregory shouted, tossing water with his fins in the direction of the snores.

We watched fearfully as Eva turned on to her side, but continued to sleep.

"Go and goose them!" Gregory ordered me.

I shook my head, belatedly realising they couldn't see me in the dark. When I had stayed silent for three seconds too long Gregory said, "I insist you poke them. Research says if you do, they'll stop and it's better to get them to stop snoring as it is detrimental to their health."

"You mean not snoring is detrimental to their health?" I understood what Gregory was saying, but I had been unable to sleep. And the awful noises in the dark made me cranky.

"Hey!"

"Hey, yourself! I'm not going to go and poke either of them! Get used to that awful keening for the next two nights."

"Or we can go down the road and rent another room... with Genie."

"That's a thought, Gregory."

"An excellent idea," Dimitri said.

"Perfect," Portas said, happily.

I had a sudden thought, "Does Genie snore?"

I could see Fish bobbing in the tank, the dim light from outside giving them an eerie, unreal look. They stayed silent, loyal.

"Technically, Genie and I have never shared a room. Just a home. People might talk if we go together to the hotel next door," I said into the silence.

"Yet you didn't think of that when we landed up here," Gregory said.

"Actually, I did. But I figured there wasn't much that could happen with five chaperones staring at us non-stop. Ten saucer-like staring eyes could scare even hardened criminals."

"You don't think he's a criminal..." Dimitri said.

"Not anymore. He..."

"CAN YOU STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF?!"  Nidhi screamed.

"Only if you stop snoring to yourself," I countered. I patted myself for my superb comeback.

"Shhh, Nidhi. You gave me a fright!" Princess Eva said, turning on the lamp next to her. She was sitting up - a pretty picture in a flimsy baby pink nightdress that was absolutely lost on us. 

"Tell your cousin to stop talking and go to sleep," Nidhi shouted.

"But, she's fast asleep... and snoring!"

"She was making a racket just now, talking to her damn fish!"

"You've always had your claws in her. Go to sleep, Nidhi."

"But..."

"Shhh!"

I stifled a giggle under the sheet I had wrapped tightly around my body. I could hear Fish laugh softly. I was surprised Eva put down her sister-in-law, especially on my behalf. 

I had two more days. I was going to be a raath ka keeda*. It was unlikely I was going to sleep much in a strange bed, in any case.

                                   ******
* Night insect