Showing posts with label Europe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Europe. Show all posts

Friday, 10 April 2020

Fishy Chronicles 59: The Escape


I chafed. Fish were annoyed at me for not reeling in my anchor and sailing away. Our war of words had attracted attention and Joy Uncle cleared his throat many times before losing his temper.

Next time keep your fish at home!

“There’s no next time,” Portas muttered from the fish tank.

“Yup,” said the lovers, treading water beside Portas.

“Next time, next time, so many promises. Yet we dust off the mobile tank and come here every time Uncle orders you to. We should stop visiting, my dear,” Gregory gritted his tiny teeth. 

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I still wanted to finger my father’s brother. “Hard to do now, Uncle.”

Why?

“Because you chased away Genie – the one person who would feed and take care of Fish. Now I will never be able to stay here overnight. Either they are here with me or we are not here at all.”

There was a groan from the tank and the water swished menacingly. “Oh, please say we’ll never come back!” Pervez said, actual hope coming through in his voice. He had been in a state of distress since Genie left (Uncle’s Man and The Unravelling). 

Shhh!” I couldn’t hear myself thinking.

“Don’t shush me!” Uncle roared.

“Umm, I wasn’t telling you.” I had meant Fish, but I couldn’t say it out loud. Fish chuckled and moved closer to the glass wall to get a better look at Uncle.

He was a sight. He was turning pink, and his patrician face was screwing up painfully. What a pity – he was such a handsome man when he smiled.

“Were you telling your fish?” he spat out. I stayed silent. “Why are you silent! Be bold and say what you think!”

“I was telling Fish to keep quiet.”

“Next you will say the moon is maroon.”

“No. But… you just said it.”

I don’t know where the swear word came from, but my best friend Anjali, Danny and my cousin Rita laughed despite the angry noises coming from the relatives gathered at Joy Uncle’s house.

My great aunt Beasty tore into me. “You are a horrible, horrible child.”

“Idiot!” my cousin Rajiv shouted and I bristled. 

“Shut up, you!” I howled at Rajiv.

He ran towards me aiming his hand at my face, but he exclaimed in terror and fell flat on his face. There was a moment of pin-drop silence, and then absolute commotion. Beasty got up and was confused about whether to come and hit me or peel her much-loved nephew off the floor. I couldn’t figure out what had happened. It seemed like someone had tripped Rajiv, but the ones closest to my cousin had been his sister Rita and… Danny.

No. It couldn’t be.

Come on, this is our chance. Let’s run for the door!” Fish shouted.

Come on!” Gregory said, “Let’s go before they figure out we’re missing.

I tried to release the brake of the wheels of the fish tank, but the lever was stiff and suddenly I felt the light dim. I turned and stepped back hard into the book shelf behind me. Uncle's face was red and angry and I thought he was going to hit me. I raised my elbow to ward off a blow. A couple of seconds later, I looked up. He had a faint look of surprise on his face and had moved back a tad. “You are not leaving. You are staying until I say you can leave!”

“Tell him that we’re going!” Pervez shouted. Penaaz tread water, but did not restrain him.

“Got to go, Uncle,” I said.

“Because of Genie?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I need to ask him when he’s leaving. I’ll have to help him pack.”

There was silence in the room.

“That’s interesting. Do you always help him pack for his trips?” Uncle said, barely hanging on to his temper.

“If Genie is to leave as soon as you want him to, he will need my help.” I heard Anjali laugh. I could see Beasty and Rajiv glare at Anjali, but they were too afraid of her to react more.

“As long as this is the big goodbye, he can take his time. He’s got the weekend.”

“I don’t know, Uncle. You’re always on his case. He might cry, and I’ll have to help him blow his nose.”

You are not going home and that is final!

The angry words reverberated around the room and much as I wanted to retort I couldn’t. I was too embarrassed all this was playing out in front of an audience.

I pressed against the handle of the bookcase trying to keep a distance between Uncle and I and felt the pain between my shoulder blades intensify. I looked at Fish, my eyes filling and finally my tension spilled out in tears.

“Idiot,” a voice said. “You made her cry!”

“Who said that!” Uncle shouted in the silence.

“You keep asking… and I keep telling you… you’ll never know, you pig!”

For good measure, water hit Uncle in the eye and he moved back in a hurry. He opened his mouth angrily and his hand moved impulsively to the door, but then I started smiling and his mouth closed and his arm went down.

“You will stay here and help Elsa in the kitchen!” Uncle growled, turned around, glared at everyone, especially at Anjali, and went back to his armchair.

                                               ******

This is a fictional series about the narrator, her parents’ former man Friday and Fish. The narrator is trying to escape her Uncle’s house but he has foiled her plans. Fish decide something more drastic is needed.
                                               ******

When there was a lull in the conversation, someone switched on the TV. I stood in the kitchen’s doorway feeling stressed.

It felt like Uncle had elaborately planned to introduce me to a potential suitor – Danny – and insult and drive Genie out of my home. Uncle had made me the laughing stock of the family. Why was he doing this? And now I was reduced to being a cook, to make up for his daughters’ unwillingness to don aprons and aid their mother Elsa.

I glared at the guests and at Uncle. He had become a monster. Why was he so angry at me?

“Come here,” Penaaz ordered. I glared at her, annoyed at her command.

“Please,” Dimitri, my favourite fish, said. My anger melted a tad.

“Please, sweetie, come here,” Portas said. “Open the lid and play with us.”

The idea of dipping my hands in the cool water, and letting Fish chase away my agitation appealed. I washed my hands at the kitchen sink and went to the sitting room and opened the lid of the fish tank. I slid my hands in and Fish rubbed and nuzzled my palms and fingers. I leaned my chin on the edge of the tank, let my hands float and listened to the TV. I could feel people watch me, but I didn’t care anymore.

“What’s Wuhan?” Portas asked, trying to catch a glimpse of the TV.

“The place where that virus originated. According to news reports, China had a lockdown to contain an epidemic. But the Chinese were too late and the virus is racing around the world and killing people at a horrific rate,” Gregory said.

I straightened. Last week Genie had topped up our grocery reserves and even stored them in the loft. I had joked about him being paranoid. “We can’t wait until it is too late,” he had said.

“We’ve never been affected – even when it was SARS, Swine Flu, etc.”

“There have been cases in India, but we were isolated in many ways. This time, I’m not so sure.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but Genie put a finger on my lips. “Let’s watch the news some more and take precautions. For now, that means a mask and staying away from public spaces.”

“And you got this information from WhatsApp?”

“From the experts on TV. At worst we have food stocks for a couple of months.”

I wanted to say more, but held off. And things had worsened. I wasn’t even sure I should have come to stay this weekend at Uncle’s place. Anjali and I had tensed every time someone coughed or sneezed. Danny’s mother had a cold and Anjali and I stayed a safe distance away.

We had been watching the news and worrying about the spread through Asia, but it was spreading through Italy and parts of Europe like wild fire. I had tried to buy hand sanitizers at DMart, but staff told me it was being rationed. I could buy 
only one bottle. I stopped teasing Genie. Perhaps it wasn’t paranoia, but he was a middle-class hoarder for sure.

I felt a presence near me. Uncle had a strange expression on his face. I began to feel tense.

“Strange to see you play with your fish. Is this what Nigel did too?” Nigel Poonawala had given me Fish many years ago. He had owned the ad agency my ex husband had worked at but Uncle Nigel and I had made an instant connection.

“He had toys for them. And yes, he spent a lot of time with his hands in the tank,” I said reluctantly.

“Perhaps I should try. They always hide behind the bushes in the tank,” Uncle said.

“Wash your hands first, Uncle.”

“Isn’t that extreme?”

“Didn’t you make all your visitors wash their hands before they handled your newborn grandchildren?”

“Right. You think my germs can kill your fish?” Uncle smirked.

“Tell him he’s hit the nail on its head, sweetie,” Gregory said, but Uncle had moved to the bathroom and came back holding up his wet hands like a surgeon.

“Oh, no, he doesn’t!” Dimitri said and grabbed his bicycle and started cycling furiously. He flew out of the tank, somersaulted with his tiny bike and landed with a splash in the tank. The water smacked us in our faces and Uncle slammed backwards into the bookcase. It shook. I took the chance and wiped my face on his shirt.

Fish grabbed their bicycles and started somersaulting out of the tank and splashing hard into the water. They rained water on Uncle, and he cowered against the book case, exclaiming, “Aiyyo!” over and over again.

Run, run, run! Let’s get out of here,” Gregory shouted.

I bent and pulled the lever hard. This time it clicked and I could feel the tank roll forward slightly. “Get in, get in, get in!” I shouted at Fish and wheeled them into the sitting room.

I saw my relatives watch me in shock, but Rajiv started running towards me. This time Danny stood up and blocked his way. I didn’t wait. “Anjali!” 

She was at the door, helping me lift the tank over the doorstep. I slammed the main and security doors shut and Anjali jabbed the lift button frantically. The flat’s door opened, and I could hear Uncle, Beasty and Rajiv shouting, children screaming and furniture toppling. “Run, you two, run!” Rajiv’s sister Rita shouted.

The lift's doors opened, and we pushed the tank in and the doors closed. We breathed hard, holding our chests.

“Shit!” I said, feeling my heart hammering all over again. “Shit, shit, shit! I left my bag and keys upstairs.”

“No, we’re good.” Anjali pulled the strap of my bag she had slung across her chest.

“Our luggage?”

She grinned. “I asked Aarav and Aditya to put them in the car without their mother or anyone seeing. I thought it best to be prepared. Aditya was upset at the thought of you going, but after that stupid lunch session he was amenable" (The Unravelling).

Bless my darling nephews. I’d be baking them a nice fat chocolate cake when they came around next.

We got the fish tank into the car. There was no one chasing after us. But when I looked up at Uncle’s window, he was staring at me angrily with a furious, blabbering Rajiv beside him. I stepped on the accelerator. I’d figure out the consequences later.
                                               ****** 

Wednesday, 4 March 2020

Fishy Chronicles 55: Uncle's Man

Photo: A. Peter

“Where are we going?” Danny asked. 

I had met Danny at Joy Uncle’s place. Apparently, my uncle had seen it fit to arrange a meeting with a man without my knowledge. To get my prying relatives off my back I had got Danny into my car and driven off before my cousin Roma could follow.

“To the beach,” I said, looking into the rearview mirror. There wasn’t a chance Roma would give chase. I had moved fast. I turned to look at Danny, Beasty Aunty’s great nephew, and felt a jolt. He was watching me and smiling.

“You told me that already. Which beach?” he said.

“You said you weren’t familiar with Mumbai.” 

“I’m familiar with the Chowpatty and Juhu beaches.”

“You’ve been to both?”

“No.”

“Then?”

“Just read about them,” a wide grin. I narrowly avoided hitting a car. Maybe he was fingering me for incessant questions. Tit for tat.

My phone rang. Roma! Now I would have to face a shitload of consequences.

“Aren’t you going to take that call? It’s from your cousin… unless you have a friend called Roma,” Danny said.

“Nah. She’ll give up in a bit.”

“Won’t that make things worse?”

“Probably. But why sweat the small things.”

“Why, indeed.”

I turned to look at Danny but he was looking straight ahead, calmness personified. I was beginning to regret this exercise of running away.

“You know,” Danny said, “your cousins could think we are eloping.”

I braked hard at a red light and we were thrown forward, but held back by the seatbelts. I rubbed my collarbone where the seatbelt had bitten me. I saw Danny inhale slowly.

“S-sorry about that, Danny. We can turn back if you want.”

“What do you think will happen when we go back?”

“Nothing will happen to you. You’re the innocent one here.”

“I meant, what would happen to you?”

“Er… I-I thought I’d drop you off and go home.”

Danny’s eyes bored into mine, “What about the man and woman who came with you?”

“Them… yes... I’ll figure out something.” I waited for an answer, but Danny did not reply, so I asked, “Do you want me to turn back?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Why was I trying to rub him the wrong way. I wanted to talk to this man some more.

“I’d like to see one of those beaches. You still didn’t say.”

“Say what, Danny?”

“Say which beach we were visiting.”

“Juhu Beach.”

“Why this beach particularly?”

“It’s posh.”

“Oh, really. How?”

“All the Bollywood stars live in Juhu and they come to the beach to do their morning deeds, swim in the sea for exercise and take their baths at the same time,” I said to see how he’d react.

He smiled slowly. “So… why is it posh if it’s mucked up.”

“Star-quality shit.”

Danny laughed. And I felt a frisson of excitement – something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

My phone rang again. 

“Are you going to take the call?” Danny pointed at my phone. It vibrated with the urgency of Uncle’s irritation. The rats had already tattled and we hadn’t been gone 30 minutes.

Danny took the phone and I watched, my mouth dry with horror, as he swiped the screen, put the phone to his ear and said hello. I heard Uncle bark and I wanted to cringe.

“Hi, Uncle. Yes, she’s beside me... driving... Sure, I’ll ask her to come back. But, we’re nearly at the beach... Why are we going to the beach?” Danny winked at me, “Because I asked her to take me there, Uncle. ... Juhu Beach… I thought I could catch a glimpse of a Bollywood star. Yes... I’m a big fan of Amitabh Bachchan. She’s taking me to Amitabhji’s favourite dosa joint, right opposite his house.”

I couldn’t bear this any longer. I eased out of traffic and parked on the side of the road. By now, Uncle seemed to be tiring of Danny’s positivity. I heard a silence and then a sharp order. “Okay, Uncle. Just as soon as we’ve had dosas and walked on the beach, I’ll ask her to return home.” There was an impatient click.

Danny handed me the phone. “Right. You owe me a dosa and a walk on the beach.”

“Er, you don’t want to watch Amitabh Bachchan’s house?”

“Not really. Are you a fan?”

“No.”

“Are you?”

“No. But for Uncle’s peace of mind, and to make sure your neck is not on the line, I’ll be Amitabhji’s fan.”

“It wasn’t necessary, you know. Joy Uncle would have just chewed me out and forgotten about it by dinnertime.”

“Yes, but you’ve forgotten Aunty Betsy and the audience. I don't want to give them something to remember. Plus, I don’t like the idea of you being chewed out.”

I couldn’t make out what was going on, but I felt good. I could feel the blush all the way between my toes, but, what the heck, Danny and I were going to eat dosas and spy on the Big B.

For now.

                                        ******
This is a fictional series about the narrator, who lives with her former manservant and pet fish deep in Mumbai’s suburbs. Her uncle has set up a meeting with a potential groom without her knowledge. To avoid her spying relatives, she takes the man on a drive. All goes well until they reach Bollywood star Amitabh Bachchan’s bungalow.

                                        ******


“You know, I met him once,” Danny told me.

“Really? When, how?”

We were standing under a large, shady tree in Juhu. We had stretched two elastic dosas over an unbearable hour. Finally, the owner of the South Indian restaurant asked us to leave. We had got a seat diagonally opposite Jalsa – the Bachchan family’s home. I was glad to give up on my half-eaten dosa.

“At a launch. I was one of a group of people assigned to take care of him. I was starting out at the company then. Mr Bachchan was good fun.”

I nodded. Here I was a die-hard Mumbaikar always looking to meet a Bollywooder, and Danny, an outsider, had met the Great B easy peasy.

“What are you thinking?” Danny asked.

“How unfair it is that you get to meet him and I couldn’t… haven’t so far.” I looked at Jalsa’s tall wall with a jaded look. Was the Big B really worth it? Could I scale that wall? Maybe Genie could help.

I gasped. I’d left Genie and Anjali at Joy Uncle’s place. Who knew what my idiot family would say and do to them.

“What happened?” Danny grabbed my arm.

“Sorry, Danny, I just realised I left my friends at Uncle’s place. At their mercy. Might be a harrowing experience.”

“Aren’t you overreacting?”

I was taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I doubt Uncle would be rude to your friends – they had nothing to do with you whisking me away.”

“I don’t want them to be easy targets.”

“I don’t think Uncle would be unreasonable.”

“I’ve known the family longer... all my life. I don’t want to take that risk.”

“Besides, they look capable of looking after themselves. I say we walk on the beach a bit and then turn back. Shall we say half an hour around the beach and then we head back?”

“Sure.” I looked at Jalsa and thought I saw something move in a window. I felt a hand on my arm and a pull. I moved reluctantly towards my car.

“Do you want to ask me anything?” Danny asked at the beach.

“What do you mean?”

He looked taken aback but then smiled kindly. “Before we go back, would you like to ask me anything?”

“Why?” I said. The sun was shimmering distantly on the sea. The heat of the day was receding and it would be sundown in a couple of hours. I looked up at Danny. He was red from the heat and beads of sweat stood out on his forehead and slowly slid downwards. A couple of his blue shirt's buttons were undone, revealing chest hair trapped under a white vest.

“You really don’t want to get married, do you?” he said, his eyes boring into mine.

I stopped in the sand. Shit. We were having the talk. “I’m sorry, I was caught unawares. I don’t know why Uncle invited my friends too.”

“Who’s the man?”

“Er, they’re friends of mine.” How was I to explain Genie.

“Are they married?”

“Y-yes.”

“Okay. The lady looks very interesting. What does she do?”

I felt my fizz evaporate. “She’s a writer. Lives in Uttaranchal Pradesh.”

“Do they have children?”

“Who?”

“Your friends.”

“Er, er, no.”

“What does the man do?”

“He runs a business.”

“Ok.”

“What do you do?”

“I... don’t have a job... right now.”

“Why not?” Danny shifted, so that his back was to the sun. I couldn’t see his face clearly.

“I quit working a few months ago.”

“Why?”

“I wanted a break… to do... and see... things.”

“Are you?”

“Not quite.”

“What do you mean?”

I sighed. “The money I saved was in a bank that collapsed recently (FC 43, 44). You may have seen the news…” Danny nodded. He knew. “Well, I lost most of my money. So, I can’t do as I planned.”

“Which is?”

“Which is what?”

“What exactly did you plan?”

“Mostly travelling, some freelance.”

“You didn’t really think things through,” Danny said. I felt discomfort creep up, more because it was closer to the truth. “What happened? A bad boss? A love affair gone wrong?”

My mouth turned down. “No love affair. I just wanted to get away from the office.”

“You could have got another job and then quit.”

“True.”

“Why quit with nothing in hand?”

“I did have something in hand. My savings. Travel money…”

“No.”

“Yes, dammit!”

“Okay… where did you plan to go?”

“Er, the US… backpack around Europe…” 

“Why lie?’

I felt deflated and anger rise slowly. I opened and closed my mouth but couldn’t find the words to fight back.

I turned away and walked into the sea. I felt Danny walk behind me.

My phone vibrated. It was a message from Anjali, “Good idea taking that hunk for a ride with you. But did you know he was going to be at Uncle’s? Looks like Uncle knew what he was doing.”

“What do you mean?” I wrote back.

“Genie’s gone.”

I struggled to find something to write but couldn’t. The phone vibrated again.

“Take your time at the beach. I don’t think Genie is coming back. Not today, in any case. And it looks like that’s what Joy Uncle wanted.”

                                        ******