Wednesday 28 November 2018

Fishy Chronicles 5: Meeting Norbert

Had a strange caller yesterday.

He threw himself at my window and afterwards screamed and howled until I opened it.

I had to. The watchmen looked up to see who I was torturing. Had to wave and smile and act normal.

Poor Norbert. My mosquito friend seemed bent out of shape – literally.

If you recall, years ago he ate some of my rum cake and passed out on the top of the fish tank. Fish had to revive him and they became best buds. And he visited for all the years Fish lived with me.

This is a fictional series of Fish that lived with the narrator for years and finally decided to spread their fins. Here their good friend Norbert, the mosquito, visits. Fish saved him from drowning when he had too much of the narrator's rum cake and fell into the fish tank. He now counts them among his best friends and is an ardent lover of the narrator's cakes.

“What was so important you needed to try and kill yourself, Nobby?”

He raised himself to his full tiny height. His back stiff.  “Norbert! I was not trying to kill myself! You wouldn’t open the window. So slow. So prone to drama.” He sounded like Fish... right down to the sanctimonious tone.

“My problem now, is it?” I should have squished him, instead I bent down to hear him better.

“Er, making any cake this year?”

“Aha!”

“Will you have a Christmas party?”

“Got guests. Not sure I’ll party.”

“Any cake or rum?”

“You want to come over?”

“Will Genie be there?”

“Not sure. He's travelling. May send me his love via postcard or call. What’s the matter, Norbert?”

He settled on my knee, looked up at me sadly and said, “I don't want to be alone this Christmas.”

My heart melted. My tough lil Norbert. “Oh, my darling! Let's not celebrate it alone. You and I and Rum and Rum-drunk cake. And if we're lucky, with Fish and Genie too!”

I heard the softest sigh.

“Okay. Now open the window. Got to go and spread some disease.”

Saturday 10 November 2018

Fishy Chronicles 4: Rapprochement

Fish took a helicopter ride to the burbs and stayed the night. They called it a rapprochement.

This morning they insisted on joining me for a walk at a new garden I had discovered. So I helped them on with their suits and we drove to the grounds and began walking. After 7 minutes, Fish cussed and demanded I stop.



This is a fictional series of Fish that catch up with their erstwhile owner and seek more adventure. They previously escaped the suffocating environs of a middle class fish tank to travel, broaden their horizons and spread their fins in every sense. 

"Why?" I asked.


"You're taking pleasure in the oddest things!"


"What are you talking about?"


"You see that old lady in the blue sari?" They pointed at the thin elderly lady who just passed us by. I had indeed noticed her and felt a feeling of angst when she quickly walked past. I watched her till she took the turn and disappeared. I turned to look at the Fish, who were watching me keenly.


"Well, what of her?" I said.


"You've been spending the last 10 minutes trying to overtake her!"


"What... What rubbish!" I hated that they were so perceptive.


"Quit comparing yourself to the world!"


"I'm not!"


"You are!"


"Are we going to continue this walk?"


"If you stop chasing old women and keep pace."


"I won't lose any weight at your pace."


"None of that! You know we love every jiggly bit of you. Let's go and make fun of the other walkers." And they marched off into the middle of the path, making other walkers jump out of the way.


Sigh. I'm not lying. Attaching pictures to prove I was at the park.


I couldn’t locate the lady in blue, but by then I was enjoying my time with Fish. And, yes, we did make fun of some joggers.

The joggers spot in Mumbai's suburbs
(Photo by A. Peter)


A cricket game in motion in Borivali
(Photo by A. Peter)