Thursday 25 April 2013

Wine and carrots

Thinking of squeezing wine-making between the end of work and start of sleep. Roughly an hour. That gives me time to eat, chat with the other half, watch a little TV, freshen up. I've already washed the containers (plasticky make-believe wine barrels) and left them out to dry. I am hoping my mind will go on autopilot and I will be able to finish in good time.

I've also got a kilo of carrots I don't know what to do with. At first I thought, try the same evil pickle I used the kg of lemons for. But a friend, Vini, found out I was trying to squeeze some boiled carrots into the already-made lemon pickle. I thought it would do away with the sourness, and be the pickle of my heart... carrots and lemons doing a packed-like-sardines act. But Vini insisted I try a carrot kheer instead, which sounds simple. Oops, i just went to the local hyper-market and forgot to buy the condensed milk. let's see. i'll improvise. or not at all. really doubtful.

the other idea i had today was to use the carrots to make wine. it's sweet, i doubt it will become sour like the orange and chikoo wines did. perhaps i should try a small batch.

i was at the hyper-market to do some time pass. and someone made away with my trolley. two women... who were shocked to know they'd taken my cart. at the counter i realised they'd also kept my deodorant. so i had to grab my things off the counter, locate the deo shelf and return.

i wanted to start reading my book. but one thing led to the other. and i ended up watching the end of Law & Order and the beginning and bits of Mad Men. I hated this show at first.  but now it has 'piqued' my interest. especially Ms Olsen.

Wednesday 24 April 2013

Books and The Croods

Hot hot hot day today!

I went to the doctor... only to have the same helpless feeling I always do.

He prescribed me and mom some reaaaaalllllly expensive medicine.

I'm always itching to ask him to prescribe something reasonable, or not at all. Better still, something really cheap. But perhaps, I'd be dead by then.

Well... that's what it is -- a luxury to be sick these days.

I even peeped into the poor box to see if any of my medicines had been tossed in. and then turned myself away. Shameless. I haven't come to that. Yet.
And I struggled home. with Mom and extra human in tow.

And still felt bad my life felt a mess. I blame the heat.

So chatted with husband, and as luck would have it, he told me to grab my bag and rush to the theatre.

I did. how often does someone close to you tell you something you'd like to hear.
I got to the counter at 3.24pm, for the 3.30pm movie. The movie, The Croods, not so great, but I did laugh in spots. And had breakfast at 6pm. Probably the best part of the day. Excellent stuff. Some sort of sausage and cheese and apple weem. All of which is probably coursing through my heart, packing the arteries with fat and sugar. 

Found out that Crossword had a children's books sale. I'd carried along my Diwali coupons (it's April and Diwali was in October-November. Fish say I'm slow) and bought some books... for the kiddies who will bother me for birthday presents this year. Though they are going to be most unhappy at what i got them. books and magnetic bookmarks. i was kicked by the idea of it. i even saw a torch one mounts on a page to read at night. almost bought that. interesting stuff though. i saw a Thor comic, Tintins etc etc. brought back childhood memories. how different they are from this generation's book/comic-reading memories. i remember seeing women warriors with exposed breasts in a Hercules and his 12 labours book. i wonder who was titillated more, the boy it was bought for or me.
I bought Jeffrey Archer's latest Clifton saga book. can't remember the name. but i keep thinking his themes are recurring. the books go so quickly, but you wonder why it seems familiar. in any case, he pleases me.

Returned home. to a furnace. so hot. so reluctant was i to enter home i went to my sister in law's place. only to find it hotter. made her give me a glass of kokum juice, massage my legs and kidneys (just kidding), looked into her fish tank to see if i could spot the pair of shrimps. Couldn't see them.

Dull day, right?

Tuesday 23 April 2013

Typical day

Read the newspaper.
not end to end.

filled ink into a dissipated malfunctioning pen. It's not a bad sort. just having a crustified-ink day.

it has been malfunctioning and my heart has been doing a bit of moue. what are the other options if this one dies.
while biting my fingers, wondering why the soap couldn't get rid of the egg yolk smell. strange how the scent of sausage didn't stick.
would you wear sausage perfume?

had two eggs today. some sausages.

while eating them, all i could think of was my recent blood test.

wondered how much my two recent eggs and several pork salamis would frustrate expectations that the doctor might have.... if he ordered me to have another blood test tomorrow. Plus i had a tang. i remember having a bottle of tang two days before my last blood test. can the sugar hide in my blood for so long? i haven't been running around in the nearby garden for some days. i meant walk. i can't run.

why am i behaving this way. i've grown up with diabetics. eaten the heart patient diet. but i'm annoyed i won't be able to eat cheese occasionally or butter. which really was occasional.

i don't want to eat unhappily for the rest of my life. especially having to look at food blogs and all the heavenly pictures. truly, i've never manufactured anything that looks so good in my kitchen. is it the camera, photograph. or photoshop. or maybe the doily and lighting.

 

The working world

My sister in law and i had an interesting conversation recently.

we were discussing jobs. she wanted one and i wanted to move.

i told her i wanted static hours and it was nice to work from home. but every interview i seem to go for, seems to have a 24x7 theme. come to work. work at work. go home, log in, work till you drop. or maybe keep working past that.
i told one managing director that i didn't want to work weekends or at home, or past the hours i was expected to. he wasn't happy. he didn't like what he heard. i didn't think he'd respond or write back to me. the position has been vacant for a couple of years.

i asked a friend about the interview. he told me he used to do that for years. go to work. stay late. go home and start working on a laptop the office had provided him. he usually leaves a job because he thinks they are not paying him enough. he said that his office had more work than our former office. he didn't feel the need to draw boundaries between the workplace and home. but he did tell me once that he wasn't happy about his wife wanting to work. if he earned so much, why should she work.

is that why he works late hours? more money? or doesn't he know how to say 'no'. does he want to say 'no'.
does he know what is reasonable anymore?

back to what my sister in law and i were discussing.

she told me about the employment fair for women in mumbai recently. i'd seen it in the newspaper. but didn't read about it. sadly. she told me that the turnout was huge. wildly beyond expectations. whose expectations and how she knows, i don't know.

she added that a lot of the women at the fair were looking for part-time work and better working hours. and her company had hired two women, who were from advertising, but were already showing that they were very good at what they did.

it reminded me of another friend in her late 30s who quit her job in a huff. she's very talented, but the company made her work very long hours. it made her disatisfied, especially when they wouldn't allow her to do her exams or study.
and this is something i see all across. at newspapers. corporates. the smart companies recognise talent and do a case-by-case. but what about the rest.

a regular line at companies is, if you don't do it, you will be replaced. that's easy, there are so many people that can replace you. but at what cost. is the new person as good? getting them to speed will take a long time. do they have the qualities you require? one can repent in leisure. 

these days i want to get out of the race. i started thinking this way over the last year or so. but now i wonder if all the heart burn is worth it. my biggest worry -- will i be able to afford an early retirement.

i have more to say. but perhaps later.




 
At my desk.

Thinking about how i haven't read a book since i started working from home. i don't know why. is it the book. is it the space. is it me.

i would normally say 'me'.

people have been oohing and ahhing about the work-from-home biz. but come every saturday/sunday and i wonder what happened during the week. it all feels seamless. where did it all go. i'm sure i'll say otherwise once a commute starts.

the 'not reading' is worrying. what happens when i retire? my sister says she will only sleep. i don't think you can sleep too much, i can't sleep at night. what happens to everything and everyone else when you sleep. they will want food and etc.

i was wondering if the lethargy was due to the aimlessness of my day. then i found out there was a practical reason. anemia. it won't make me read a book. but perhaps the doc can stick some iron into me and, maybe, something may move... forward.

not reading is worrying though.

i once thought reading children's books in your adulthood was worrying. until i reasoned, that i'd read more adult books than children's books in my childhood to make up.


 

Monday 22 April 2013

activity

sigh...
i changed the name
and changed it back

i dont know
whether to hold my head
or ......
i can hear a hyena in the background

 

Name calling

Very frustrated.
i want to change the name of this blog.

until i went online to look for my blog
i didn't realise how lost
and tiny
and insignificant i could be!

help .... me...  change this ... blog name.
no offense anil
fish were right
i am out of my depth
i'm standing in a pail of water
and feeling the chill
 

The unitiated... or perhaps the unsavvy

The strangest thing.
well, with me, not so strange.
so i started the new blog
have been trying hard to protect my identity
but i not only lost the blog
cant find it anywhere
even via google
so had to login again
and voila.

now i think i need to change the blog's name
a google led me to a few thousand fish
er... options

any ideas?
 

What next

Umm. so after the hubris
what next

fish say
i'm out of my depth
interesting thing
for them to say

 

Day 1

Yahoo?
i'm so tech-challenged i'd been asking various friends/family to help me start a blog.
and here i am. i didn't realise it was that easy.
now i'm worried people will find out.
and there goes my privacy :D
but who'd start a blog, if they wanted it private.
my friend anil even suggested the name. i like it. thanks anil :)
definitely no eecummins